“Yes I simply adore her and I won’t let her go no matter what”, I tell myself.
She is just the perfect girl for me or rather for anyone. We are in college together and I am sure there are so many guys in my college that would love to have her in their lives and be a part of her life. But none is as lucky as I am. I am the one she chose to be with – the first and only official guy in her life. Though there have been others but none she was really involved with. I am glad about it, though I wonder that do I even deserve her?
But that doesn’t really bother me. What does is that, does she love me the way I love her? If you think I doubt her, then you are VERY wrong! Doubting her is beyond me. She can never and I mean never cheat on me or think about someone else as long as we are together. In fact, there have been times when she has told me about fellow batch mates telling her that they have a crush on her. But what worries me is this “Is she THAT into me?”.
Let me tell you something about her. She is beautiful, an angel in herself. She is sweet and cheerful, has a smile on her face always and talks to everyone with ease and makes them feel at ease. She has her own unique way of living life, does what she believes in – irrespective of what the entire world believes around her. I am sure whoever knows her, respects her for the kind of girl she is – principled and untouched by most of life’s pleasures like drinking, smoking, etc. Some may call her orthodox and uptight. She says she doesn’t care. And I am sure she doesn’t, otherwise she would have given in the peer pressure that exists regarding such stuff in a management school.
Well I guess this is the reason I love her so much!It hasn’t been long since we have been seeing each other – just about a month. When she first told me that she likes me too, two days later she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted a relationship. I know being in a relationship was new for her, a big change in her life. And knowing the way she is – closed to any change in life and extra thoughtful in everything, I knew she can think about it all her life without being sure. I didn’t ask her to take a decision at that time itself, just spoke to her as friends for hours. I asked her again a few days later and she said she likes me. That was all that I wanted to know.
College is off on a term break and we speak every day on phone. It is normal. But I have known since always, it is not easy for her – to accept me or rather anyone in her life. And so I fear sometimes that some day she would just say to me that she can’t handle it. We meet rarely these days as we both have an internship and the timing just doesn’t fit.
Last night when we spoke, it was normal. But at the end she said “Let us meet tomorrow. I want to talk.”
This did not freak me out. But after a long pause she added the two words “about us”. She had certainly given it a deep thought as she said it on a Friday, because it was only possible for us to meet on the weekends. I felt like the moment had come which was the only fear I had about her. She will say to me, that she can’t handle it.
“No! I cannot let that happen. I won’t. Maybe I am just thinking too much. I’ll meet her tomorrow and remove any doubts she has. I’ll not let her go just like that.”
I was waiting for her at the decided place today. I had reached before time. When she arrived and I looked at her, there was just one thought in my mind “She is the angel of my life”.
She looked so pretty. Her open hair reaching half way to her waist. Her face bearing a smile as always. We greeted each other. We talked about how are intern ship was going, work load, etc. I wanted her to start that topic that I was fearing. But after about half an hour, I couldn’t wait any longer. I asked her what she wanted to talk “about us”. She became silent. She often got silent on such things. I insisted her to speak something.
She looked at me with a strong gaze. Her eyes wanted to say something but I didn’t understand. Her smile had gone – something very rare for her. I knew she wasn’t going to say anything good. She was trying hard to speak and I waited patiently for words to come out.
Finally she said, “You are the only guy I said “Yes” to. You mean a lot to me. Do you like me the way I like you?”. Her voice trembled on the last line and tears came till her eyes. She fought them back.
I cannot put in words what I felt at that time – supreme happiness, to say the least. I was speechless. I just hugged her tight and kissed her on the head. “You mean everything to me, I like you veryyy much” I told her.
It is half past midnight. I just kept the phone down after talking to her. “Yes I simply adore her and I won’t let her go no matter what!”
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