Editor’s Choice: Onset Of Confusion – Short Love Story: Feeling after Break-up
Onset Of Confusion -Short Story on Feeling after Break-up
Things weren’t the way I wanted it to be. Well, that’s life. I couldn’t help it. All I wanted was him, but I couldn’t push it. He was just a stranger before, the inevitable crap happened between the two of us and we were back to square one, Strangers again. It wasn’t easy to accept the fact that he was gone; it wasn’t easy to remember to forget. Everything was just too algid.
Every time I see my beloved books, I reminisce the times when he used to ask me to explain every line of every page. When he used to sigh all the time saying how much he hated them and how lovely I used to look when I used to read them.
Now when I sit at my desk I ooze looking at those same bundles of pages begging me to read them but without his presence, for a while I forget I can read.
Funny how they say that books are our best friends, well my best friend didn’t heal my pain. When life throws you on your knees, it wants to see your aptitude to get up.
I tried to get up, I tried to kill them. The memories.
And today, I saw him walking past me. I saw him trying to stay around me. But why did he leave at the first place ? This “why” lingers all along. I tried to not look at him; I tried to act as one complete unfamiliar person whom he never knew. After today, we were supposed to meet after 10 long days and 6 days later, it was New year . One of his friends didn’t know me, but I guess he knew what I felt . How I wish if he could see it too.
“Go, talk to him”
I smiled trying to act as if I didn’t care but in my mind I had already jumped in front of him and greeted him with a punch.
“ At least wish him”
“Na, he is …” I mumbled.
“Look I know… Okay?” He smiled.
That line hit my head, but it didn’t seem like someone else said it. I took control and struggled to reach his shoes without my nervousness being noticed. Outside I was as cool as cucumber, but inside I was having a sweat bath.
He as usual was at the corner of the corridor with his friends, physically. Mentally, he seemed somewhere else; he was looking at the sky maybe trying to warm his face with the rays of the sun or something that only he knew. The other two of his pals where talking to each other, oblivion to his quietness. It seemed like they knew it was not worth asking. I watched him from a distance. It was like watching the whole movie right from how we met to how he left. His eyes, as soon as I saw it looking at me. They were locked. Both of ours. I tried to pass a comfortable curve but all I could show was a straight face. No smiles. No regrets. No feelings. Just a straight face. Taking no notice of what my expression was doing, I moved towards him more. Closer and closer. Somewhere inside I felt like he wanted to talk to me too. Desperateness? No idea. This feeling was the result of his actions.
I opened my mouth to hello him and he did something which was unexpected. He showed something very cold. His back. It was instant , like he didn’t want me to get closer, like he liked me from a distance , like this was the end.
And I ? I could never want someone more.
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