REJECTION It hurts…

“Sir, your appointment is at 12 o’clock”, receptionist told handling me the appointment order.

“Okay” I said and checked my watch, it was still 10:45 am, so I thought of hanging around, then suddenly a boy came and gave me some sweets, I looked at him, he was young, might be of age 20-22, but he was weak, he had beard longer than my hair, totally he was looking like a drug addicted boy.

I didn’t have any idea about his happiness, as I had lot of time I kept on watching him, he gave sweets to almost everyone in the hospital, I got some curiosity about him hence I asked the receptionist about him, she told me he was there in hospital for three months pampering and taking care of a girl who was in coma, after hearing that I followed him, he went towards the Ganapati statue in hospital and started praying, I went near him and told him ” you seem to be very happy!” in response he just nodded and started praying again totally ignoring me.

“So, there might be some good reason?” I asked him.

“My girlfriend…hmmm actually my soulmate got cured after three months of treatment and I am very happy” he said.

“Well, I can see that, receptionist told me that she was in coma and you took care of her, can I ask why she was in coma and why her family didn’t take care of her?” His eyes got wet after hearing that.

“Sorry, I am too much…” I told to sooth him.

“No,No… don’t be sorry you have asked nothing wrong”

“Then?” I asked.

“It’s a big story” he said fighting back his tears

“I have enough time and actually I am writer and I am just curious about your story, if you feel comfortable then you can tell that” I said.

“Hmmm, then listen…

<3 months ago>

I could see her going away from college campus and also from my life, I was standing alone, totally heart broken, I was crying but nobody could see that in that rain, I had nothing left but just a rose which I had brought to propose her, I crushed it, the thorns in the rose hurt my palm but not more than her rejection, I managed myself to sit in the nearby bench, I closed my eyes my hopes were dead but memories became alive

It was the first day in college, everything was unfamiliar to me since I was from different place, I was standing at corridor waiting for the lecturer to come and take the class, while everyone was entering the class, I noticed a girl running away from the class in fear, she came to me and looked at me as if she is seeking some help, she pointed towards a cockroach, I tapped my shoes near it and it went away… 

“I am really afraid of cockroaches” she said. 

“Well I know, every girl is afraid of cockroaches” I said. 

“May be, by the way I am Ananya” she said and shook her hand with mine. 

“Myself Anand” 

“Wow then our roll numbers will be next to others” she said and went to the class 

‘Really girls’ brain is designed to think those things, which a boy can never think of’ I thought and looked at my hands, it was red even she can make my hands shy…

I opened my eyes and looked at my hand it was red due to bleeding, Huh same colour different reasons… Again I was lost in the memories,

While I was standing at the corridor suddenly someone closed my eyes from behind “Who is that?” I mumbled.   

“guess” it was very familiar voice to me, yes it was of Neha, my childhood friend 

“Neha it’s you?” I asked. 

“Wow you still remember me” she said 

“Ya, and you? here? how?” 

“Guess what, I have joined the same college” 

“Tab toh meri nikal padi” I said. 

“Ooooh, then you don’t like me to be here, I will change the college then” she said showing some anger. 

“Hey I was just kidding” I told her but I wasn’t sure whether it was truth. 

“Whatever” she said and went to classroom. 

Neha was my friend since primary school, she used to like me since the day we met but I… I think I pretended to hate her from that day itself. She had no reason to like me and I had no reason to hate her… I had been trying to avoid her all the time but the more I hurt her more she used to like me… I had also asked her several times why did she like me that much even after avoiding and hurting her, her only answer was ” You will understand it one day” 

Huh…my first day of college had brought mixed emotions.

I stood up and started to walk to my room, I walked across the busy streets where people were always busy, the whole world was looking like a heartless creature to me, I could not stop my memories to quarrel in my heart…

Since the first day in my college I and Ananya were becoming good friends,

* When you become a only friend to the only beautiful girl, your friends think you have crush on her, others think you both are lovers, she… she never thinks anything and you…well it depends on yourself *

After seeing our growing friendship one day Neha asked me ” What’s going between you?”                       

” Why should I tell you that?” I asked. 

” I…just…want to know” she mumbled. 

“But why?” 

“Well, I am jealous” she said in anger 

“Don’t be crazy” I said and left. 

The next day Neha proposed me with a rose and a gift, then I was in hurry so I took them and told her that I will give the response next day and left the place.

I went to my room and threw the gift and laughed an hour for the stupidity of Neha…

Two days later Neha asked me ” So, what do you think?” 

“About what?” I said 

“About my proposal” She said with tears ready to kiss her cheek. 

I laughed for a while and replied “You were serious that day?” 

She didn’t say anything so I continued ” I think you are just immature girl, you just saw me with Ananya many times and proposed in jealous and I should think it’s love and I should accept it…huh, I am not a fool… so, better you overcome from such stupid feelings and for God’s sake forget me” 

She went out crying…

I went inside the room crying and sat on the chair, Ananya’s rejection was still hurting me, for the first time in my life I had felt sorry for Neha, I could understand how Neha might have felt when I rejected her proposal( if she really loved me )…

I really loved Ananya but I didn’t dare to propose her because like everyone I had the fear of losing her, but today since it was Valentine’s day, I decided to propose her, and plucked a rose from the plant in the place around my room, actually I had planted it when I got crush on her…today I plucked one flower from two… and proposed in our campus after our class, but her response was unexpected

” you are just Immature Anand, you were a best friend of mine till today…not anymore… you think friendship is a nickname of love when it is between a boy and a girl…better you overcome from such stupid feelings and for God’s sake forget me”

Her words were still making me sick, I decided to walk in the garden near my room, while I was stepping out I saw a wrapper near, It was of a gift, I searched there and found the gift Neha had given me… I opened it to see what’s that, It was a slate on which her name was written the slate was plated with a transparent material so that the word on it do should not get erased… there was a letter beneath it, I took it started reading…

***

Dear Anand,

You might be wondering why I had given that slate to you, We were in nursery school when we first met, you were sitting before me, teacher had given the work of writing their respective names on their slates, he came to our row saw your slate and told you ‘very good’, he then moved to my bench saw my slate blank and scolded me…I was crying which probably no one could see, when he moved to next bench every student was busy in correcting their mistakes but you only glanced at me, I don’t know what you felt that day, I don’t know whether you remember that day or not… but then you suddenly took my slate and wrote my name on it and placed it back on my bench, the teacher saw that when he was in second round and said ‘very good’ to me also…

It was the first day someone had scolded me, It was the first day someone had seen me crying and It was the first day someone had stopped me from crying, It was you who made me feel better, I had lost my mom soon after my birth and my dad had even forgotten me and was addicted to drinks, for someone else it might be just help but for me you had cured my pain which my parents had never bothered to cure, I went home and hid the slate, from that day itself I started liking you, first as a friend and now I really love you, you used to ask why I always liked you even though you have hurt me so many times, I really used to get hurt when you hurt me but when I used to see this slate I was likely to forget it… I really can’t see you getting close to the heartless people and got hurt at the end… and I am also jealous and possessive… Love can’t exist without jealousy and possessiveness.

You have hurt me enough, don’t hurt me anymore…

With lot of love

(My name sounds me best when you spell it)

***

I fell down after reading that letter, I was crying like an idiot, I had hurt that innocent heart more than I could hurt my enemy, I just wanted to see her and ask her sorry all my lifetime, I took my bike and rode it to Neha’s home… I started knocking the door of Mr. Chandrkanth’s home, it was locked, I didn’t see it, hearing the knocking sound nieghbours came out and told that she has gone to temple, I asked about her dad, they told “ well he may be in bar, where else he can be?”

“Okay,thanks” I left the place, I decided to meet the Neha in temple itself.

 

When I was on the way I saw Ananya and her family going to the temple, her car came just beside my bike, I looked at the window of the car, I saw Ananya wiping her eyes with dupatta, the sparkling pieces at the edge of dupatta reflected the sunlight directly to my eyes it bleached my vision for a while, I let her car to pass by slowing down my bike, the way to temple was a dangerous valley where a small mistake could take your life, after passing a kilometer I saw two cars met with the accident with each other, one was the car I just saw, It was of Ananya another one was old and the one I have seen several times, Yes it was of Neha, I rushed to the spot and saw the parents of Ananya and her little brother dead and Ananya in severe injury, Neha had got no big wound but she was unconscious, I took both of them into a car passing nearby, I was driving them to hospital Ananya started to tell something

“Anand, I…I want to tell you something…”

“ Don’t tell anything…it’s not the time to talk” I said.

“Listen… it’s important… I know I gonna die now… let me tell the truth before I die… You know why I rejected your proposal?… because… I loved you…but not… more than Neha… it was she who loved you from childhood… It was she who used to be happy when she used to see you happy… I never loved you like she loved you… I rejected your proposal because I knew you can be happier with her than you can ever be with me… You know what’s love…

It’s that sweet pain when you see your love to be happy with another person…

It’s that small sacrifice which can bring a big change in your beloved one’s life…

It’s that small pain you give to your love to prevent him from more pains in future…

I loved you like that way, I had a small role in your life…I…I” Ananya stopped talking. We reached the hospital…

“Doctor, how are they?” I asked a doctor.

“Sorry mister we could save only one girl but she also went into coma due to lack of blood when we were giving her anaesthesia, sorry we knew there is a risk of going into coma, but we had no other option and she will be fine in few days the other girl died due to internal bleeding in brain, the body is in the next room you can see it, but the coma girl is in IICU…”

I went inside the room thinking I will never see the face of Ananya again, the girl who loved to see me getting loved by my love, I saw the body with face covered, I went near her and slid the cover with my trembling hands, I fell down seeing the face, I never thought it could happen, the tears from my eyes touched her cheeks and rolled down as if she is crying seeing me, “NEHA……” I shouted…

Huh… this is how I lost my Neha, like a dark nightmare” Anand told his story to me.

“Very few are lucky to get the true love in their life, you are one of them.

Very few are unlucky to lose it as soon as they realize it, you are one of them.

Very few are lucky to get another love to cure the wound left by the first love, you are one of them.” I said fighting back my tears…

 

“Mr. Anand, Miss Ananya is going to release now you, you can meet her”, a nurse told to Anand, he ran away to meet her.

“God has given two pair of eyes for humans, but most of us use only one pair which is to see the world, but we forget to realize there is one more pair in soul to see the feelings, truth, sympathy, happiness and all other hidden beauties of the World, open those eyes and see the even more beautiful world” I thought and went to see my doctor.

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