The Roommate

9th October 2013 :

She opened her eyes but she could barely see anything. The over head light was piercing through her eyes like hot needles. Her head was killing her, she felt as if someone was constantly banging it with a sledgehammer.

“Aisha?” I clasped her hand.

She took a deep sigh, “It hurts ”

“Where? ” I asked.

“Everywhere “, she could hardly speak. Her breath was caught in her throat. She struggled to keep her eyes open but soon everything started to fade away, everything.

It was 9th October, her birthday. I had been planning dozens of surprises for her from a month ago, but destiny planned something else.

I lost my love. Destiny took away ‘my person ‘ from me.

 

1st October 2013 :

They don’t allow you to visit an ICU patient for long, but however small those moments were, they were priceless.

I entered the room and saw her sitting on the bed. There were machines, making different sounds in intervals.

She was starring at the ventilator at the corner of the room.

“Sometimes I wish I could eat a cake or drink a potion like Alice so that I would shrink and escape out of that ventilator. ” she said.

She knew it was me. I pulled a tool and sat beside her bed.

“How’s Alisha doing today? ” I asked.

“You brought the book? ”

“Of course I did” I smiled.

She was looking pale. Her mahogany hair was tied at the back in a ponytail. I opened my bag and took out ‘Wishful thinking by Alexandra Bullen ‘ her favorite novel.

She reached out for the book, I handed it over. She flipped the pages, smelled the paper. She always did that, she loved reading books. I remember once she told me that books are windows to the soul.

“Thank you ” she looked at me. She was getting sicker, I could tell just by looking at her.

“I am going to be okay in a few days. ” she murmured. Her brown eyes were starring at me. They were filled with hope, hope to revive again. But the truth was just the opposite, she was fading away.

 

26th September 2013 :

The doctors decided to transfer her to the ICU. She was getting worse. They said to hope for the best, but when everyday finds new and exciting ways to let you down you start to expect disappointment. There’s not even a tiniest hint of hope left in me but it’s amazing how Aisha still dreams to get better, to have a life again. She wants to travel the world. She’s a dreamer.

 

24th September 2013 :

“How long do I have to stay here? ” she asked.

“You are sick, Aisha. Why don’t you understand?”

I tried to control my nerves. Her constant nagging was starting to annoy me.

“Stop saying that. Stop saying I am sick. I know I am but I don’t wanna believe it. ” She broke into tears.

“I am sorry Aisha… ”

“Don’t, Ankita. I am not crying because I am going to die. I am crying because I don’t wanna die like this. I want to live, I want to stand on the deck of a ship and inhale the smell of the blue ocean. I want to stand on the porch, with my eyes closed and feel the afternoon sun on my face for as long as I can. One last time I want to feel the monsoon rain. I want us to sit together on the swing set in Central Park. I want to go there and eat our favorite ice cream. But mostly I want to keep dreaming ”

I kept looking at her. I wanted to help her but I couldn’t.

 

16th September 2013 :

Aisha is sick again. Doctors said she has to be admitted in the hospital and it is likely that the cancer is back.

 

I still remember the first day we met. We were roommates first and then we fell in love. 

Our first kiss behind the Church in Antonio Street. She began stroking her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and let her drive me crazy.

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