The Scorned Rose

He saw her for the first time, in a casual dinner party. He was Seventeen and she was fourteen. He instantly developed a liking toward her. She was different from the other girls in the crowd.

Rishabh in contrast to his parents, was quiet and shy. He was introspective, insightful and observant. His Parents, to his strange discomfort, earned a reputation of being Social butterflies. The couple loved partying as it complimented their humourous, agreeable and gleeful demeanours. Rishabh being the shy and introverted person he was, preferred to keep it low profile. Despite his efforts to avoid attention, his personality and looks only seemed to attract more of it. Enigmatic and intriguing, he’d appear as a challenge to the young girls of his age. They’d take it up to woo and win him over, but he was sure they were not his type. Giving a polite laugh and symbolizing a gentle dismissal, he’d slowly detach and flee from the spot.

This time, he was introduced to her for the second time. It was a reunion party. Rishabh and Neha’s parents graduated from the same College. The batch of 76-79 had now transformed into clusters of newly aged couples, who flashed huge grins, while flaunting their kids. Rishab and Neha’s parents were no different.The two choicelessly tagged along by their sides. Rishabh was sure that she wouldn’t remember the first time they’d met, although it turned out she did.

While all the girls tried throwing themselves at him, Neha was the only one as quiet, shy and embarrassed for him as he was. She flashed an empathetic smile and walked away. While his last memory of her was influenced by her personality, he was equally charmed and stunned by her looks this time. She’d grown into an attractive and and classy lady. Her black sari with silver beads, draped around her slender body and her long, dark brown hair, flowed generously down her shoulders. As much as was he was embarrassed, he couldn’t stop staring at her. She seemed polite and gave an uncomfortable smile, everytime their eyes met. But soon after, she looked away. She was distracted and looked uninterested.

Rishab could sense that beneath her graceful exterior was a sad person. She looked tired and bothered by something. Maybe she’s uncomfortable since all the guys are staring at her. I should stop looking at her! What’s wrong with me ?! This time, it was him who wanted to emphathise with her. But who was he to her anyway ? No. I bet it’s something else. She wouldn’t meet eyes with him. She couldn’t care less about him or his presence. Rishab looked at her, as if for the last time and then looked away. He drifted away from the two old couples as the party continued and later came to an end. He knew, he’d probably never see her again or get a chance to know her.

“ Rishu !!! “ screamed Seema.

Rishabh peeked out of his novel to see an unusually excited look on his Mother’s face. I know this look. Rishabh sighed and returned to the novel. “ Ma, I told you I don’t want to get married now . Why don’t you.. “

Seema pulled the novel out of his hands “ I did not look for a bride for you this time ! “

Rishabh stared at her, perplexed

“ A Bride came looking for you ! “ Seema gleamed.

Rishabh pulled the novel back from her hands “ Yes, it’s the same thing Ma. Tell her I’m not interested “

Seema stared at him, while Rishabh shrugged innocently.

“ Listen to me beta.. “ she began.

“ Not interested “ Rishabh cut her off again.

Hopelessly Seema turned around “ It’s so sad you don’t like Neha. I’ll break the news to her family. But only after I gather the strength to do that “ Seema sighed.

Rishabh looked up in an instant. “ Who did you say the Bride was? “

Seema turned around, surprised “ Neha ? Do you remember her ? the one dad and I introduced you to, at the reunion party  ?“

Rishabh couldn’t believe his luck.

“ The Malhotras are a very good friend of our’s beta and it’d be a sad thing to turn them down.”

Rishabh stared at Seema reassuringly and smiled “ Tell them, I’m prepared to see her“.

Within the next six months, Neha and Rishabh were engaged and within a year,  married. Rishabh thanked his stars a zillion times, during the time period. Neha was quiet the entire time and seemed to be submissive to whatever was happening.

Is she always this quiet ? Maybe she is not a very opinionated person. Maybe she just follows what her Parents suggest for her and doesn’t question them.

He was completely aware of how lucky he was, to get her. Or atleast, how lucky he thought he was.  To him, she always seemed the kind who could be least interested in anything. Even in her own marriage. She seemed more the kind, who had choices imposed on her by Parents.

Maybe she didn’t have much of a say ? Maybe she doesn’t know what it is like to want something and get that too.

But he had different plans for her. For them. He dream and visualized of taking Neha on tours abroad and buying her all the beautiful, expensive and exquisite things she wanted. He couldn’t wait till he got the opportunity to give her the freedom to choose and simultaneously bring a smile to her face. I promise to give her all the happiness.

Rishabh got the first signal of something being seriously wrong when Neha had fainted during the sangeet ceremony. The tension on her face became evidently visible. Rishabh was irked by her state. He lifted her, fanned her and sprinkled some water on her face. Once she gained consciousness, he was worried throughout the ceremony and kept an eye on her. He later tried asking if something was wrong and that she should feel free to share with him. But Neha uncomfortably shifted in her seat numerous times and insisted she was okay.

Neha’s mother Sheetal interrupted the couple “ Oh beta ! How sweet are you ! She is fine..bas she is sad that she’ll soon have to leave her family and go into a new family . That is all “

Neha nodded while she looked emotionally drained. Rishabh gave Sheetal a fake smile, while still tensed. But right after Rishabh and Neha’s marriage, things changed drastically. Neha refused to open her heart out to Rishabh. Despite his best behaviour, she would remain indifferent and isolated.

To Rishabh she seemed intimidated and emotionally disturbed at the thought of getting physically close to someone she didn’t still know very well. Rishabh let her have her time and refrained from pushing things at her.

“ But for how long ? You have to get to know me Neha ! I’m your husband and I mean well for you. I don’t know if I was your first choice or if I was ever your choice at all, but please give me a chance. I want to bond with you at an emotional level before anything. I hope you trust me enough to know that. “

Neha turned around and looked at him. She looked into those intense ,deeply set caramel eyes. They looked at her upset and hurt. Without wasting a moment, she crashed into arms to his surprise and sobbed as she clung onto him. “ I’m sorry..I’m so so sorry Rishabh …. I’m so sorry “.

Rishabh cuddled her up in his arms, perplexed not knowing what upset her so much. “ Shhh..it’s okay,please tell me what’s wrong. “

“ I’m in love with someone else “.

He stopped cradling her for a moment and stood motionless, while she held onto him. Rishabh slowly untangled and pulled her apart to face him.

“ You..” he voiced, too shocked to find words. His eyes looked into her’s. His eyes questioned her. She gasped and looked down, horrified.

“ No I mean..”

He tightened his grip around her arms , forcing her to face him.

“Rishabh..I ….” Neha sobbed.

Rishabh’s wrath for once knew no limit. She quivered in pain.

“ Yes..it’s true “ she choked as she whispered. He pushed her away and freed her off his grip.

“ Why ?” he asked, his voice dangerously low “ You hid this from me before our marriage ?”

Neha could see the look of disgust that engulfed his face.

“ You lied to me ! “.

Neha clasped his hands “ I can explain “

Rishabh tore his hands away from her’s “ You’ve nothing to explain now Neha, it’s too late “

Neha looked away from his piercing gaze sobbing silently. Rishabh stormed out of the room.

A month passed by since the two had last conversed. Rishabh and Neha put a facade of being a happily married couple, but Neha knew how hurt and indifferent Rishabh had become.

“I just need some time. I promise I’ll try to work this out “ she begged.

Rishabh grabbed his coat with blank expressions and walked out of the room. It was not Neha’s secret that hurt him, it was his helplessness of not being able to give Neha the happiness, that he’d promised himself ,he would.

If only she had told me before marriage. I didn’t know what stopped her. Parents, Society or whichever other prick it was. I would’ve myself gone and given her in the hands of the guy she loves. But now, she’s mine. Only I’ve the right over her heart, her thoughts.

Rishabh’s silence and anger killed Neha within. Her guilt of hurting him, grew with everyday. He doesn’t deserve this. It was not his fault. Doing everything she can to reduce his pain, she tried being a perfect wife to him. Chose clothes for him every morning, ironed them, kept a matching tie along, packed his lunch and kept his briefcase ready. All this she did, religiously. Nothing irked him.

Neha had given up now. He wasn’t the love of his life but was her husband. He had to give her a chance.  Well aware of his indifferent attitude toward her, she took a risk and walked up to him. Rishabh stood gazing at the stars in the terrace. Neha slowly walked up and stood beside him. .

“ He was the love of my life.” Neha began gently.

Rishabh’s impulse was to walk away. But he stood still, seeming unaffected.

“ His name was Aarav. I met him when I was seventeen in one of my cousin’s college fest. He was nineteen then. We were young and passionate. He instantly knew what he wanted. He charmed and persuaded me till I finally gave him my heart. There was no looking back after that. With everyday, we fell for each other more.”

Rishabh was now listening.

“We promised each other that we’d be companions for life. That our gift to each other, would be the cherished and precious companionship. “ Neha paused as Rishabh slowly looked at her. “ But things turned haywire after that. When do we ever get what we want in life ? “ she said with a sarcastic, soft laugh.

Rishabh displayed a look of curiosity.

“ He was diagnosed with cancer. It was stage two. Bone cancer.”

Rishabh widened his eyes, still silent.

“ While he still gave me his trademark smiles, assuring me that everything is okay, I  saw him weaken and crumble as a person everyday. The doctors wrote him off. Everyone said he’d not survive. He wanted me for me to move on in life. While my family pitied him and empathized with me, we were forced to break up by our families. To my horror, he left the Country and moved to Alaska. His Uncle’s place, to die. And what shocked me was that, all of this was on my Parents’ heartless requests to his. To protect the two kids from further pain of witnessing death and separation.”

“ I called it heartless then and I still call it heartless now. I wanted to be with him during his last moments but fate had different plans. Either way, I cried myself to sleep every night “

Rishabh felt his heart melt.

“ I thought I lost him. I knew I’d lost him. Never heard from him again. Years passed by and I wondered everyday, if he was still alive or..” Neha choked. “ But I was sure he was dead. “ She gently wiped the tears that streamed down her flawless face. “ I promised him I’d move on. But who cares about promises ? People promise so many things to themselves and to others, but how many can keep it ? I anyway did move on. A lot of marriage proposals poured in for me and all I did, was be least interested. Finally Mom and Dad chose you for me. I surrendered my life into their hands and choices for me and so I ‘m here with you today “ Neha paused. “ And I really respect you.”

“But you don’t love me” stated Rishabh in a gentle whisper.

Neha looked away and continued “ You remember I fainted during our Sangeet ? “

Rishabh blinked potential tears away and looked back at her.

“ He’s alive Rishabh. Aarav’s fought death for a life with me “ Neha turned towards him and took his hand in hers. “ The love of my life is alive “ she choked as tears streamed down her face.

She held his palms in her’s and brought her face down to them, as she sobbed. Rishabh felt the urge to stroke her head, lovingly. Neha looked up and wiped the tears away.

“ But I promise you this, I will not hurt you. Yes I loved him and maybe still do. But I’m married to you now and I will stay by your side. “

Rishabh looked sympathetically at her. He wiped the tears off her face and pulled her into his arms.

Four months later, he pulled her face close to his and kissed her on the forehead. She slid into his arms , as he wrapped them around her. Slowly, they pulled apart to face each other. He finally realised how beautiful she was. Her face glowed with radiance when she smiled. Her charming and sparkling eyes could pull anyone out of their misery. He finally saw the real Neha. He saw how beautiful she was. This was all he wanted from her. As this was all he wanted to give her. Regardless of what the price was.

“ It’s so strange Neha. I promised myself to give you all the happiness and all that you’d want. Aarav and you promised each other, that you’d be companions for life. Promises don’t always break, do they ? It probably depends on how sincere we are about fulfilling them.”

Neha slowly nodded. He looked at her longingly.

“ Don’t feel guilty, hey. Remember I chose this for the three of us. “ added Rishabh who looked towards a grateful and healthy looking Aarav standing in the corner, leaning on a wall.

Rishabh leaned toward Neha for the final time and whispered  “ I know you can never love anyone as much as you love him. But let me tell you something Neha, you can never be loved by anyone as much as I have loved you. I’ve never had you for myself, but I’ve loved you with all that I have.”  He paused and smiled “I’ve given you , the love of my life. I’ve given you back to you “.

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