I had gazed at Rahul one more time. The corner of my left eye was still looking at the professor. This time I had promised myself to make sure he did not see me staring at that boy in a really peculiar way. Rahul, who seemed to be seated between two pretty girls of the class, had himself completely focused on the teacher. Professor Thomas had continued the lecture whilst he wrote on the board. I had only caught up with words like ‘decimal’ and ‘fraction’ and a couple of other common mathematical terms. My gaze was interrupted by a sound that I recognized the most.
“Ah! So, miss Sharma! Could you please answer this question?” Professor raised an eyebrow, which meant he was waiting for an answer. I hesitated, I had stammered: “You haven’t written the answer on the board, sir.” I pointed there, hopefully. He replied: “I know that I haven’t written it. I have mentioned it.” I could feel the anger in his voice. The entire class was busy writing. He took a quick look around, then, he said: “Please Neha, Instead of staring at Rahul, it would be better if you stared at the board.”
That was enough. As expected, the whole class turned towards me as I felt totally embarrassed. Worse than that, Rahul did the same. He kept looking at me strangely, as if he was still figuring out what the professor meant by his statement. He opened his mouth to speak, then, closed it without uttering a word. I didn’t know whether he was angry or embarrassed. In fact, he looked confused. I hid my face. I could hear a few girls from behind: “She loves him. Yes, she does. I bet!” My face had become totally red after I heard that. I decided not to look at anyone. I closed my eyes. When I had opened them, I could see no one in the class. Only the benches, and the chairs, of course! I searched the class with my eyes. I packed my bag and walked away.
“So! You’re in love! Aren’t you?” was the first question I was asked by a student after I had stepped out of the classroom. I ignored it, but I was soon aware that it was the latest topic in our grade. A girl had come up to me and told me about her crush. She said we could share on a daily basis. “Would you leave? Please?” I asked her, agitated. She walked away. I felt guilty. Had they bombarded Rahul with the same questions they asked me? I went home with that unanswered question popping up every minute. At home, I closed the bedroom door and sat on the bed. I took a very deep breath. I decided to read a book as I had a glass of lemonade.
“Did I hear the truth?”
I turned. A drop of my drink splattered on the floor. I gulped. “What is true, Anu?”
“That you have fallen in love?” My sister asked eagerly.
“I…I… haven’t.”
“Why do you hesitate?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I was quiet. Anu smiled. “It is alright.”
“But I say I’m not in love. The boy just looked peculiar, his behaviour!”
“You like his looks, then? Is he good looking?”
“Will you please end the topic?” I blurted out.
“No, I was just saying that if you really love him, you must tell him the truth. He could be thinking the same about you!”
“Well, thank you.”
So, you agree that you’ve fallen in love?”
I took one deep breath, then, I said: “Yes.”
Thankfully, the topic had ended. Five minutes later, the doorbell rang. I scurried across the corridor to open the door. As I opened the door, I was shocked to find Rahul outside. I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to speak first. The fact was, even he hesitated before speaking. Of course! The poor boy must be embarrassed. I felt guilty.
We stared at each other’s face for long. Were we falling in love? Then he blurted: “Stay away from me!” he had said it sternly, which had broken my heart. I did not let him make out. He walked away without speaking another word while I was left staring at the place where he stood. After my anxiety had come down, I decided to go to his home and apologize for my mistake.
Ten minutes later…
The gate was open and I walked in. The door was locked. Where he or any of his family members had gone at this time, I wondered in my mind. It was six in the evening when I had reached his home. I waited for half an hour. No one had entered or exited the gate, so I had nobody to ask. Another minute passed by, followed by one more. Still, no one was to be seen. A piece of paper on the door caught my attention. I picked it up and read:
“Dear Neha,
I knew you would come. I am extremely sorry for being so harsh. I know you love me. I love you, too. But there is a reason why I cannot let our relationship get closer. I suffer from cancer. The doctors have said that today is my last day of survival. I came to school because I wanted to spend my last day with my friends. None of my friends know about that. I cannot say anything more. Please meet me at Peter’s hospital as fast as you can. I want to say goodbye for the last time…
Rahul. (signed)
The paper slid from my fingers and fell on the ground. Was it true? Of course, nobody would lie on serious topics like these! My heartbeat increased rapidly. I sat down on the garden bench and searched my pocket. I had money to hire a taxi to Peter’s. It was God’s grace that I found one parked near the tea stall with the driver sitting inside.
The first thing I heard at Peter’s was a woman weeping, followed by a man. The woman could not stop crying. She was seated on the bench outside the ICU. The man was the first to spot me outside. He wiped his tears, as much as he could. I stared, waiting for him to say something.
“Are you Neha?” The man asked me. “Yes” I swallowed. He spoke the darkest words I had ever heard: “Rahul is no more.” The woman fell down. The man tried to make her stand. I saw Rahul and I wept. Couldn’t I say goodbye? Not even once? Not even once?
We left for home a few minutes later…
–END–
