As if that call has disturbed all my concentration, I paused n then closed the songs I was listening since I started reading my new story collection. Though I continued finishing the story almost done before that call. But realized that I was just grabing the words without getting the sense of the sentence. So closed that application too. Though that call was a normal one by my husband and he was just asking something regarding my son’s admission to a new school. As since last couple of days we both were having a so called Cold and Silent War and each of us was expecting the other one to get down. Well…!! as usual in this case also the Ego won. And none of us tried even to communicate other than some urgent lines and that’s too only on what’s up…..you can call it one of the side effects of getting online whole day.
Anyway!!! Since I was in a try to get myself busy somewhere and not to think about him and which I knew would be a total failure at last…
I was expecting he would say something else but he just ended. I was feeling like on phone we were behaving more politely and were sounding less egoistic though the conversation never lasts more than half a minute.
It has been more than two weeks and due to this feeling like my heart sinking and and feeling an ache in chest which is continuous. I am sure he also would be feeling very low. Even at night I can not have a sound sleep. Though on same bed it seems a big huge wall between us …,not actually one, I must say two walls…walls of fake but monster size Egoes!!! He too don’t seems to have a relaxed n sound sleep these days. Obviously when love tries to ignore and escape from Ego evil there would have been a drastic battle then how the mind can have a relaxed sleep.
Next day Morning-
Today morning I am feeling so fresh n energetic and even after getting up from bed no chest aching is there. When I asked him to wake up and take his bed tea, I realized he was in such a sleep that I had to ask him one more time, which perhaps happened after so many nights.
I was wondered just a single word can do the miracle. Yes the word no doubt was “SORRY”.
It was 5 am and finally I decided to say it first. Though I didn’t even remember what was the issue but one thing I was sure I could not survive without his smile and without talking to him. So….! I said it first.