Still Here – Love Short Story

Love Short Story – Still Here

“You look tired”, she said.

“Do I?”, I questioned back and smiled at her.

“You should get some rest, Rahul…some sleep maybe.”

I was lying on my bed, on my back. The day was really exhausting, draining me completely. She came closer now. I could smell her presence. It produced a refreshing sensation to my senses. It was always that way with her. I raised my head just enough to steal a glance of her. She wore pink. A pink T-shirt and a white skirt. In short, she looked pretty. But that compliment does not count much as she’s always beautiful to my eyes.

She approached slowly and sat on the edge, beside me. I simply stared at her radiant moonlike face for the next few moments. So elegant. So soothing.

“I don’t understand how your presence seems to rejuvenate me and kill my weariness. Nevertheless, I’m really glad”,I said.

“Does it?”,was her quick reply and this time it was her time to smile. The warmest smile. I believe it had the ability to heal even the deepest of pains…the most dreadful of the nightmares even. It was comfort to my eyes, my heart. It felt pleasant like one would feel on a sunny wintry morning in the grassy fields. The only thing lacking was the fresh morning air carrying the smell of dew on the green grass. It is the best sensation ever. But my moment here with her is even better.

I was getting lost in thoughts. I don’t even recall how long I have been staring at her. She must be feeling awkward, but that doesn’t matter. My eyes had become transfixed on her. I tried to look deep into her eyes, tried to see through.

She could not help herself from giggling at my expressions. She ran her long soft fingers through my dark rough ,and rather crumpled, hair and said,”What are you looking at that way,huh?” She couldn’t stop smiling constantly.

“Just you. Why? Do you find my stare oppressive?”

She snapped instantly. “No, not oppressive. But awkward. Don’t stare”, she laughled softly,”There is nothing to see so much,dear. You see me everyday, don’t you?”

“I want to see you all the time. No amount of time spent with you seems enough”,I said and added casually, smiling,”I hope I’m not freaking you out, am I?”

She gently patted my cheeks. “No,of course not. You think too much. All the more reason that I love you so much.”

Her touch is a healing medicine to my soul. It opened the portal to a whole new world. A place where I could be the person I truly am. In her presence I felt myself…I felt at home.

“I’m so lucky to have found someone like you”,I admitted childishly.

She brought her face closer. I thought it was a gesture for a kiss.Yes, I think too much! Instead her lips drew closer to my ear and whispered,”Me too”

“Thats it?! Me too?! Nothing else?”

She didn’t say another word. She warped her arms around me while I lied on my bed. I raised my back just enough for her hands to pass below. There it was! A hug. I needed one badly after a tiring day. Not just from anyone, only her. Its effect would keep me together till the next day. It was drugs to me. I couldn’t afford to go without it. But it was a healthy addiction.

I hugged her back. “You always seem to understand what I need”, I said.

“Really?”,she chuckled as she talked,”Sometimes I wonder what you would do without me.” She was teasing me but I liked it. She was the only person to whom I would not mind even becoming the subject of bullying.

“All the more reason that I love you so much”,I replied, mockingly.

She held me even tighter. I could feel her heart beat against my chest. I could only feel hers, not mine, at that moment. Or was it that our hearts beat in one rhythm? I couldn’t make it out. I was too intoxicated with her enchanting smell…the softness of her back where I touched. I didn’t want to let go. I felt safe in her arms. I wished I could freeze time at that instant and kept it so. I wished we could spend an eternity in our arms with the same feelings in our hearts…with our hearts beating in rhythm. But the world is a constantly changing circus…it is too chaotic to hold a perfect moment still, even for a few seconds…the idea of an eternity is too farfetched.

We lay wrapped in each other for a while.

“I was thinking something, you know…”,I put in. It was a whisper. The slow soft tone to the voices seem to add to the romanticism of the moment.

“Mmm-hmm…what is it?”

“Just a fleeting thought. My mind’s imaginary creation. A question. Suppose…if I ever go far from you…so far that you may never see me again”, I was feeling uneasy myself, “what will you do then?”

“Probably find another man who isn’t as crazy as you are.” She chuckled.

“I bet then he would be the most imperfect match for you,dear.” I could not help myself from smiling in my mind.

She said meticulously,”Don’t say that! I bet he would”. In the flash of a moment her voice grew heavy and her tone sobre,”But if you ever go faraway from me…no matter how far… I would follow you anywhere…always beside you”

Saying that she let go of me. She raised herself and looked into my eyes with deep sense of affection and care. Girls can get so emotional! She said in a tensed voice,”But-”

“But! But what?!”, I interjeted.

I could sense some regret and sadness in her voice which she immediately stifled, hoping I would not notice.

“But if I would leave you for a far away place, what would you do? Would you do the same? Follow me everywhere I went?”. She brought a thin smile on her face with great hesitation.

“No, I will not go after you”,I replied blankly, my expression not giving away any trace of emotion. I raised my hand gingerly to her face and touched her lips tenderly with my fingertips. Slowly my lips gave voice to the emotions in my heart,

“I will not follow you,dear, because I will never let you go far. I intend to keep you close…closer to me than I am to myself”. I brushed my palm on her cheek gently. She blushed beautifully. Her ears reddened like the newly blossomed rose petals in spring.

She took both of my hands in hers and kissed them. A perfect moment of life. But Life envies such moments.

“Come down, Rahul…Dinner is served… Better hurry or it’ll get cold”. It was my mother calling from downstairs.

I didn’t want to go just then! I lay still for quite a while as she held my hands. We were lost deep in the caverns of each other’s fond gaze. Again, my mother broke the spell. “Come down now dear… are you asleep?”

I hurriedly exclaimed for fear that she might burst into my room any moment.”I’ll be down in a moment maa… Just a minute!”

I turned my attention to my angel then. “I’ve got to go dear… but I’ll be back soon enough”

“Its alright… you must eat something… come on now, get up and go… Its not good to keep one’s mom waiting for long.” She winked at me and let go my hands.

I sat up on my bed and she stood before me. I put on my slippers and we both walked to the door. I opened it, then turned around to face her.

“It would be nice to resume our conversation from the point we left”,I said.

“Surely that is what I expect”,she replied, quite pleased with my remark.

I added urgently,”Will you still be here when I get back?”

She paused for an answer. The silence seemed to last too long though it may not have been more than a few seconds.

Finally a broad smile spread across her face and all she said was “I’m always here with you.”

Her voice seemed strange but it was more than assuring. I shut the door as I left the room and hurried down the stairs towards the dining space. I pulled up a chair for myself and joined the table. Others had already finished, only my mother was there to serve me.

“Look, how late you’ve been. You look tired dear”, she said in a concerned voice,”Is something wrong?”

“No, maa”,I said,” its just the office work…Thats all… Don’t worry. Some sleep will do me good”. I pounced on my food like a hungry bear and finished my meal in no time.

I was just going upstairs when my mother spoke behind me,”Wait dear, why don’t you come spend some time with us? It’ll make you feel better”

“Can’t we do it tomorrow, maa? I’ve really got to go now…”,I complained.

“But your father wanted to speak to you on some matters, he says it’s urgent”, she added.

“In that case I should tell her to leave, shouldn’t keep her waiting. She’ll get pretty furi-”

I stopped midway seeing the ghastly expression on my mother’s face. At first I failed to see what was wrong but then I realized it. My whole world came crashing down with a large thud. I felt a sudden surge of pain in my conscience.

“Who is ‘she’, Rahul?”, my mother inquired worriedly when she finally found the voice to speak.

I did not answer.

She inched closer to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I simply stared at my feet unable to look her in the eyes.

“Have you been talking to her, again?”. There was definite pain and concern in her voice. It made the situation even more difficult for me.

I simply nodded my head in agreement. I still did not meet her eyes.

She let out a deep breath and sighed. I finally looked up at her face and saw tears in her eyes. It was too much to bear.

She spoke in a consoling voice,”Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Look what this has done to you! You have to get over her, son. It’s almost a year now that she died. There’s nothing you could have done about it. Why don’t you understand?!”

A long silence followed. “I understand, maa”, I said.

I tried to be as composed as possible, both in posture and tone.

“I understand. But I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. It’s just that I feel I could have saved her. If only I had stopped her from going to the office outing. If only I held her to me and didn’t let her go. If only her car didn’t crash”, my voice was almost fading to a whisper, “If only I could turn back time and be with her again.”

“But you can’t!”, her voice was breaking in despair,”Why donn’t you see that? Can’t you see how worried your dad and I get? We want you to be happy, dear.You have to let go of the past. It holds nothing for you but painful memories. Memories which are best forgotten. Don’t you want us to be happy?”. There was nothing but frustration and desperation in her words. Her words shot through my conscience like poisoned arrows.

I may not be able to hold back my tears for long and I didn’t want my mother to see her son in such state. I turned away my face and started walking upstairs back to my room.

She didn’t stop me. Without turning around I just said,”I’m sorry, maa. I do want us to be happy. But first I must find a way to make myself happy again. And that seems too difficult without her by my side”. I didn’t wait for any reply.

I retired to my room for the night.

She’s still here…with me…in my dreams.

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