The End of My Story

The End of My Story – Short Love Story

I never thought I was going to say this.

But, I miss the feeling.

I miss the feeling of being loved. Of being adored like a gem. Of being kissed.

I miss it all.

And now I was standing here, facing the endless sea.

 

Eight months ago-

We were sitting in the car, off to dinner. He was dressed as if to a black-tie event and I felt underdressed; I was in jeans and a top.

Half way through the dinner, I was surprised by the look on his face. And I went, ‘oh, he’s going to propose!’ but then he laughed and said, ‘no, I won’t. I know what you’re thinking.’

We laughed and went home, feeling too much in love.

That night, I awoke, feeling sick. He came to see if I was alright and I dished out any worries.

 

Six months ago-

I did not have to awake from my sleep, because I knew I was going to end up sleeping forever.

I found out blood all over my porcelain collared sink and the head was dizzy.

I knew something was wrong.

At the doctors, he said that he would run some tests and the results would take a while. I was greeted with a long needle and endless pain.

 

Five and a half months ago-

He invited me a surprise that awaited me at the riverside. I agreed. But just when I had to go, I got a call from my doctor and I had to rush to see him.

I couldn’t make it to my surprise.

And he was very upset.

He did not talk to me for the next two weeks. He said I was ‘withdrawing’ and I was ‘failing to communicate’. I was agitated and stressed. And I could not tell him the reality of me.

Five and a half months ago, I found out that I had an incurable brain tumour.

 

Four months ago-

We had that conversation. The one when you know it’s all over.

“I can’t do this anymore,’ he said.

‘Please don’t give up on me,’ I said, half-heartedly. Somewhere, in my heart, I wanted him to leave. So that he would not have to suffer the pain of seeing me die.

‘You won’t let me help you. And now you’re asking me to stay. I’m sorry but I can’t do anything.’

‘Please stay.’

‘I am so sorry.’

And he shut the door, and I knew it was over, forever now.

 

Two months ago-

I left for a tour around Europe. Somewhat like a final death wish.

I went to Italy, France, Germany and all those places I knew I could never have the will to go to. But I was there, cruising around as if nothing were wrong.

I joined a support group, met people like me and lost a few of them. I met a fantastic guy called Denis. He was French and from the support group. He kept correcting me on how to pronounce his name that I always messed up.

‘It’s not den-is. It’s done. It’s as simple as that!’ he used to say and laugh about it in his funny French accent.

He told me that he wanted too much out of life and when he couldn’t anymore, he rejoiced the fact instead of being upset about it.

 

One month ago-

Denis died. And I was quite sad but he had told me not to grieve as it ‘made the soul wither’

 

Three hours ago-

I got the news that all but one of my support group had died and all had wished me well once when I met them.

I rushed to find the only person. Her name was clear and she lived in amplify. I was in Naples and I drove as fast as I could to her place.

Only to find that she was gone too.

 

Two hours ago-

I received a phone call.

‘Honey?’ I heard a man’s voice. ‘It’s me.’

It was the love of my life to whom, I had lied. Whom I had hurt with my silence. And now wounded with my truth.

‘I am so sorry.’ he said. ‘I did not know that you were so sick. And you never said anything. I…’

I heard him choking on tears.

‘Oh baby, I am so sorry. Where are you now? I am coming to get you.’

‘If you can get to Italy. We can talk.’

‘What are you…?’

I just laughed.

‘I love you, still and I am finding you now. But you are so far away. Don’t die, I am on my way.’ he said.

‘I will try my best. But I suggest you don’t. All have gone, dear. All have gone.’

‘All have gone? What do you mean?’

‘Oh, good bye, honey. I wish you well.’

‘Please don’t talk like this. Please Me…’

‘Goodbye, arrivederci, au revoir et je t’aime avec tout mon coeur!’

‘I don’t understand you. Please…’

And the line went dead. I knew he did not understand my last words but love has no language, right?

 

Now–

I stood overlooking the amplify coast, ticking my end.

The water looked so blue. So inviting. And flashed into my mind, the events of my whole life.

I turned my back to the waters.

And I took the leap of faith.

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