The first time I heard ‘The Death of Me’ by Asking Alexandria I was in the car coming home from Chris Kucko house since I left my red high heel shoes there. He then decided to tell me that he would be leaving and going to New Mexico State University on a baseball scholarship and being a college student, I saw fireworks going off in my head of how excited I was but at the same time I was sad that my best friend was leaving me and that I couldn’t see him anymore. Only during the summer or on Christmas break, I thought that this would have been the death of my whole life.
But I could see that in those big brown eyes he was going to cry and he started to suture his words about how he was coming back for summer. That is when I knew that it broke his heart to tell me that he would be leaving me. Who was he going to talk about girls, or just meet up with and talk about how our day is going? But I know that deep down inside he didn’t want to leave and I had to let him go even though it might have broken my heart. I truly loved Chris but if he found out the truth then might ruin our friendship. Chris told me that we will never say goodbye but see you later.
But as I was driving home I drove by our old hang out place where we just sit and talked, then I decided to go back to his house and tell him that I love him, I did not care if it ruined our friendship but it would of have taken a lot of weight off my shoulders as I turned my car around and heard the shrinking of my tires I went back to his house I was thinking that maybe he felt same way about me I mean being friends for 6 years, he had to develop feelings for me. I approached his driveway I found out that Sherry was there, where he was kissing her.
As he saw me and pushed Sherry away so fast, I didn’t know what to think. Should I get out of the car and just tell him that I loved him. Or should I yell at Sherry, but was this her fault did she truly like him too or did she do this because, she did not like me? as I couldn’t think so clearly, I felt this wet and salty tear come down my cheek as I drove away I heard Kucko yell my name but I didn’t want to turn around and face the truth, that he was with Sherry.
After a couple weeks my phone did not stop but going off, as I read the screen all I saw was The Kucko on there. I had 20 text, 10 missed calls, 3 voicemails, 5 snapchat, 2 facebook messages. Then Kucko decided to come to my house. I did not answer the door but my dad did, as I got to the bottom of the stairs I heard him tell my dad that he was leaving in 2 weeks for New Mexico and if I wanted to say goodbye and not say until next time that he will be at the airport at 3 pm.
I stayed up that night just thinking about what to do, then I thought is destiny determined by choose or by faith? So for the next couple of days all I thought about was Chris’s big brown eyes, or how he knew how to make me laugh no matter what type of day I was having. Or he would be come visit me at work when he knew that Oscar was being an extra jerk. So after about a few days I decided that I will go to his house and tell him everything. I didn’t care if was the death of me or it ruined our friendship but to just know that he knew that I truly loved him that is all I cared about and that I have him back his lucky necklace he gave me during my freshmen year when we had finals week because, I was so stressed that I was going to fail my classes. As I got to his house I knocked on the door very eagerly his dad answered.
“Is Chris here?” I asked
“No, he went to airport and leaving in about 2 hours.” He said
“I thought that he was leaving in 2 weeks not one week.” I said
“He decides to leave one week early, because he didn’t get the point about staying here because he didn’t have anyone to hang with and he didn’t care about this place anymore.” He said
“Okay thank you, bye.” I said
So I rushed to the airport probably went like 20 to 30 miles over the limit and I didn’t care, I just drove so fast that I cut off like 100 cars. Finally got to the airport and looked for Chris but I didn’t know where he was or anything and I looked for the departments, saw that his plan left at 2:00pm looked at the time and saw that it was already 1:30 and I had to run, I ran through security and finally found.
“CHRIS!” I yelled out as he was boarding onto the plane.
“Carla!” he said in a very excited voice
“I don’t care if this ruins our friendship or if this our goodbye, but I love you and I always loved you ever since I saw you in my freshmen weights class. And I know that you are with Sherry, and I don’t.” As he interrupted me
“I’m not with Sherry; she kissed me because I told her that I had feelings for you and that I loved you.”
All I felt was butterflies in my stomach and that for once in my life I finally felt like, I could be who I wanted to and tell someone how I really felt and not be judged for it. But then when reality finally kicked it and I realized that he had to go to Carlsbad, NM. I had to let him go even though I didn’t want to. So after 6 years I finally got what I always wanted and I felt his warm lips against mine. It was everything I pictured I saw fireworks as I closed my eyes like how it happened in the movie. I finally got to say until next time Kucko.
As the summer vacation came to an end Chris and I talked everyday nonstop. But sooner or later our daily text turned into weekly texts, and then to monthly texts. As soon as my senior year started I didn’t a hear a word from him the rest of the summer. Then I finally realized that he didn’t know much about me, I know that we were friends for 6 years but we mostly talked about him and I had a bad feeling that he didn’t care about my feeling or on how he just mostly talked about himself or how many times he talked about his girl problems. He never once cared about my family problems. But when the clock hit 1:25 pm my phone went off and as I read.
Dear Carla,
I am truly sorry that you had to hear this over text but I found a new girl here at New Mexico State. She’s a lot similar to what you are, but she makes me happy, and I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. I know that sounds very bad but I truly loved you or I still love you. Maybe someday in the future we would be together but I believe that this is our goodbye for now.
Love,
As I tried to hold back my tears in economics class, I felt like texting him back and telling that I truly hated him and never wanted to see him. As I thought that maybe it was something that I did, or how I am not prettier than this new girls. Jenna saw me and thought that maybe it had it something with the fact that it was going to be our one year anniversary and that I couldn’t think about how heartbroken I might have felt, it felt as if someone took their hand and ripped out my heart.
I couldn’t breathe, I felt as if I was having a panic attack, I got distracted by the noise of the door creaking open and all the girls gasping when they saw this new mysterious guy walk through the door with his dark brown hair and his light blue eyes, he came and sat right next to me. I was paralyzed with shock. I started to feel as if his big beautiful blue eyes were watching me. All eyes were on me and I couldn’t stop but think of the fact that maybe he could be the replacement of Chris.
As the realization that I felt as if he was keeping a secret that made him such a mystery. As I was thinking that maybe that made him so sexy. But as I didn’t know what made him so mysterious it made him seem very sexy. I could stop but think that maybe it was something that he did in his past. As I was daydreaming all the possibility of what I would do him, I hear a bell going off and the zipping of zippers closing, the door opening and a voice of angel. No I’m just kidding, but as the new guy says, “hello my name is Trevor.”
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