*MEMENTO*

‘She is yours now.’, said someone, as he gave me the small girl. I looked down at her. She has your eyes, my love. Isn’t this obvious? After all, she is your daughter. She has got to have your eyes. Those intense, deep eyes. Those little fingers of hers held onto mine like yours never did, like yours never will.

For you are dead and she is all of yours, that I am left with.

Your child.

Yours and her child.

You know, my love, I remember reading it somewhere ones, that our child is always half of ourselves and half of the person we love the most. But definitely its not like that here.

She surely is my child now, and she surely is half of the person I love the most. But then again half of her comes from the woman I despite the most.

I had to hate her, my love, to save myself from going insane. Hating her seemed to be the only logical thing. She took away what was rightfully mine.

Were you not broken and hopeless when you had come in my life? Was I not the one, who  gave you hope again? Was I not the one who provided you with love again? Did I not fix you up? Can you ever deny that, my love?

You were my pride, my knight in shining armor, my ultimate salvation.

But why was it her, who had you in the end?

It has been almost been ten years since I saw you last.

That night is still vivid and clear in my mind, my love, how we both cried and lamented our actions and blamed our fates.

And it is now, when I am preparing for your funeral.

While your and her’s body lie in a morgue somewhere. Yes, my love, that is what you have become, a body, a lifeless piece of flesh and bones.

I can’t forget the call I got yesterday. The fateful call which brought me here today, to your daughter.

The people on the phone, they said you were dead. You and her, both. That you were driving too fast. How many times, my love, had I asked you in the past to not drive recklessly?

I spent the night going through all your pictures and all the memories together.

I did wonder when was that I had lost you, my love?

I never even got to bid adieu. May be we both were too arrogant to resolve our misunderstandings. We both although did try to never cross each other’s way again. I ran from you and you from me.

We both did excel in pretending to not care for each other, I must say.

The worst part is that, the more I ran from you, the closer I got to your memories. Your thoughts were food and soul to me. What else did I ever have?

Every recollection of yours, the happy ones, the sad ones, i cherished them all, they kept me alive.

Your reminiscence became my shadow.

I could not obliterate your memories.

Last night, I cried for you, for the first time in the past ten years.

After you were gone, I never went for any relationship, my love. Yes, I had innumerable flings and one night stands. But I could never love again. Its not that I didn’t try. Its just that in every face I tried to find yours and that is where I failed. You are the only love I have ever known. And now its too late to love again.

I did everything that I could to forget you, in those ten years, I never for ones opened your Facebook profile, never did I go though those hundreds of your picture saved in my phone, never did I listen to our favourite songs or any songs which could even remotely remind me of you.

Sad was it to realise that it must have not been same for you. For two years ago, I heard that you got married. To her. I spent your wedding night celebrating. I got wasted and woke up the next day with a stranger..

I have become everything I ever wanted to be.

Super-rich and super-successful.

The only thing missing was you and your love.

You compensated that today. You gave me a part of you, your daughter.

I want to just sit lonely and cry out loud. How much I miss you, my love.

But not today. Nothing can ruin your final farewell, my love. This time the send-off has got to be perfect.

Your daughter in my arms is the final impression of my love for you.

Do you remember, my love, how you blamed me that it was because I never expressed my feelings for you that we had to separate?

Is my expression enough now, my love?

Funny was it to realise that you ridiculed me even in death, my love.

Someone told me that you named your daughter after me.

The only remembrance of you, is my Godchild.

__END__