Love Story – And…I Still Love Him
© Anand Vishnu Prakash, YourStoryClub.com
When my eyes opened , something warm and thick wedged my eye lashes which again bunged my eyes. I tried to remove it with my hand. Suddenly, my heart pounded so fast that I could sense its echo in my entire body. I could not hear anything but that excruciating noise. When I struggled to lift up my right hand, I could not feel it. My tears started rolling down. Blood and tears unsighted my eyes. I ascended my left hand and swabbed them. I could not feel my legs either. I was devastated and partially dead. I had two options and less than two minutes. I could either call the sheriff standing a little away or wait for demise. I envisaged my parents’ condition following my bereavement and losing Stafen if I opted to live with disability. I contemplated that I’ll turn out to be a redundant dependability for all and sundry. I sensed fatality.
I lived in a nuclear family. My dad had a huge farm house. He used to get up in the early hours to nosh our horses, chickens, goats and fishes and later assist my mom in the kitchen. He was a perfect husband and mom always admired him. He had a large business but his associate betrayed him and filched everything. He used his savings to construct the farm house and his hard slog made him successful. I had a little sister Sara. We learnt horse riding at a very early age. We used to amuse ourselves at our farm itself and kids from nearby houses too came and play there. Sara was extremely energetic and an excellent player. Our friends used to battle for taking her in their team. On the other hand, used to get thwarted on taking me.
After a few days I ceased playing. She was better than me in roughly every respect. I realized it well when people started comparing us. I didn’t reckon it when I was young but it began pinching me in next to no time. consequently, our relation worsened. My mom and dad never took note of this and that was what I always whined about.
I got admitted into an arts college. At my house, it was my sister I was compared with but at college that world widened. Flair was what addressed students there. It was a whole new Milky way with diverse dimensions and facets. This tempted me to uncover my inclination. I got embittered time and again. I felt tremor of being solitary at that planet of talented searchers. I got so desperate to try everything in order to ascertain what I was great at. I wanted to crowd myself out of that endless horde.
Poignant thoughts began hovering around my befuddled skull. I started jotting down my feelings into squiggling adjectives. This was how I realized that writing could be a good idea. I wrote poems, articles and short stories but was not confident. So, I began putting it on college Editor’s notice board anonymously. I used to leave the articles at alternate days and carry back the prior. I developed curiosity in it.
One day, fortune cropped out and the editor-in-chief caught me. She prized my articles and decided to get them printed in college’s magazine, my first stepping stone. I took it casually because I became ambitious. The debating and editorial clubs were associated. Students from editorial club wrote and the one from debating spoke. The writers used to get certificates when orators won prizes. The editor conferred upon me a task of writing an article for the same. This is how I started sensing my being at college. My life turned somewhat appealing.
There were girls who flaunted their exquisiteness and attire. This was what they were trendy at. They were a different description of a ‘girl’ to me. They were boys brand. I tried to get into myself a ‘girl look’ but ended up in hating myself. My friends called me tomboy and I liked it. I was quite conceited of my novel talent. My love for writing shielded me against disillusionment.
Fairly further, the Chief Editor of a renowned magazine company visited our college and announced a poem composing competition. The winner would get a scholarship worth $1000 and his/her poem printed in that magazine. It was apparently a ‘short cut to success’. My exhilaration reached infinite echelon. My mind began running only for it. I pondered over it day and night. I astoundingly saw the editor in my teachers and heard his words when my teachers taught. My ambitions tapered merely to winning the competition. Writing a poem and modifying it had become my job.
Eventually, I composed it. Result was due a month. It was a year to me. I was fanatically waiting for it. I made myself sure of being well versed with the winning speech. Finally , it was my dream day. I got ready like a girl. The auditorium was well equipped. After a short while, the Editor arrived. My heart pounded with his every step towards the stage. My poise dropped down. I started fearing failure. I was not at all ready to face it. The editor spoke something for a couple of minute that I hardly remember. Who would pay heed to anything when life stands still ? .
He announced the name and it was not me. She was a girl I never heard about. I was crushed. My face became red hot and I started shuddering with agony. I was finished , I was thrown deep down the hell. My dreadful destiny imaged right before my eyes again. I ended up where I started. My own so-called talent betrayed me. Or, I was not made for it. Her poem got displayed on the screen. My burning eyes barred me from looking at it. I controlled my tears and pretended to be normal. That was perhaps the most thorny situation to handle. I rushed home. There, I learnt that Sara got selected to the top medical school of our city. Disgracefully, I was not pleased because my little left confidence had turned into ashes. I started hating myself. Soon, my relation with Sara returned back to normal as I eventually admitted my destined failure and her well deserved success. I did not go to college for a week. I began to think that I had lost my right to dream.
The day I returned to college again , I went to my editor-in-charge. I asked for the winning poem. I literally read it twice. I was stunned to realize that my poem was a lot better. I was mortified . How could I take pride on a poem which never won! but I could not stop myself from grousing that my composition of indisputably better. The editor regrettably informed me that the judge was biased. Startlingly, I was glad to hear that. And my delight doubled when she told me that my poem was the best. I laughed at my unreasonable melancholic week and planned to get back to action. The ecstasy reached its paramount when she dispatched my work to another magazine company. I decided never to look back come what failure. I showed articles to my family and told about the competition. They were finally swollen with pride. I never felt such elated in my life but the thing that flabbergasted me was my sister’s face. The contentment and adore in her eyes was so intense. I felt guilty of not loving her the way I was supposed to. I lamented on the fact that she never got a chance to see me being literally proud of her. I promised myself to give her what she missed since childhood. My happy days had started. Perhaps, that agony was just to enhance its pleasure.
The manager of the company liked my work and called me up for internship. I reacted normally. I was resolute enough to derive every benefit out of it. I had learnt how to be stable.
It was my first day as an intern. I directly went to my boss’s office. No sooner I reached there , I started hearing my boss screaming at someone. I was quite petrified .I planned to come there later. As soon as I took my first step , the door opened. I turned back and was amazed. A guy smiled at me. He was quite tall and handsome. His personality compelled me to smile back at him. His expressions didn’t give an idea that a couple of seconds ago he was being badly scolded. This realization brought me back to my senses but instead of being shocked at his behavior , I kept smiling. I was not less than a question mark. How could he act so normal instantly?.
He asked me if I was new here . I just nodded with that same surprised face. He told his name and introduced me to other colleagues. His name was Stefen. After acquainting me with the office’s atmosphere he went to his cabin. He was very humble to the workforce under him. He had a spark in his eyes and a zeal to achieve something. There was something that distinguished him but I couldn’t find out what it was. My question tossed and I started wondering if the Boss was nasty.
After a while, I went back to boss’s cabin . He was exceptionally sweet . I was baffled. I overlooked it and began working there. After few hours, the staff called me to cafeteria. All of them was very sociable. Stefen was there too. They ordered coffee. I never had coffee in my life. He was sitting next to me . I asked him what I was confused about. he answered ,”I’ll tell u after a month”.
I wanted to insist him to answer me there and then but, it was my first day. How bitter that liquid was ! I had to pretend that I liked it. I was not willing to give staff a reason of not inviting me there again. Every time Stefen smiled at me, a chill went down my spine.
When I returned home, I had an unusual feeling. I felt sensitive . I felt like a girl. I opened my wardrobe and gazed it for hours. Mirror was now not strange to me. I felt excited every day. By and by our friendship deepened . College was no longer monotonous. We had coffee everyday and I realized that sugar is to lessen its bitterness. Stefen was friendly with everyone. He was in addition sweet to them who were jealous of him. Sometimes I thought that he had feelings for me too. But I did not know if it was him or his affable attitude. I just knew that I loved his company .
One day, I took him to my farm. As soon as we entered there , I could see how startled he was. He was so happy. He went straight to the horses . He then went to the goats and watched them playing. “I never saw a farm so beautiful, I would have missed something big in my life had we not been friends” he said.
He made my home special. I was exceptionally blissful to see him . I realized that if I had won the competition, I would have never met him. I introduced him to my parents. Dad became so friendly with him in couple of minutes. Mom made her special cookies for him. We were having breakfast together and Sara entered. I was glad to see her. I told her about Stefen. I never felt so good. I wanted Stefen to become a part of this family.
A month passed. It was a day to declare performance of the employees. Boss began announcing the targets. I was excited for Stefen’s answer which he promised to give a month ago. Stefen was declared the best employee. I was so proud . “I am sorry that I misinterpreted you and discouraged your work, I did not know how humble and meticulous u are” Boss said to Stefen. I had got my answer. My happiness crossed all precincts. I hugged him and felt so peaceful. He shared everything with me except his feelings. He neither asked me about it. I loved him and needed him in my life forever.
My internship ended, so did my college. I went to the office on my last day. My friends had planned a trip . We planned to go to a hill station. I was quite excited but a little nervous. I had decided to tell Stefen that I love him. We took 2 cars. When I was going to sit with Stefen, Liza(other colleague) called me and insisted to sit with her in the other car. I was confused and looked at Stefen. He smiled and asked me to go there. I never wanted that but I had to go. It made me sad but I managed.
When we reached there, the roads became narrower and rugged. There was a huge mountain wall on the right side and a deep valley on left. Stefen was driving ahead. I was a little scared but distracted my mind looking at the peaceful greenery. I just wanted to reach to the camp as soon as possible. After 3 long hours we were finally 2 miles away. Suddenly, the car started shaking and there was dust all around. I could not see Stefen’s car. I was horrified. Landslide occurred and big heavy rocks pushed our car towards the valley . The left doors opened with a jerk. I was trying to close the back door but I slipped and fell outside the car. I hung with a door lock. Whenever they tried to pull me back , the balance of the car disturbed. I was worried about Stefen. I did not know what to do. All of a sudden my hands slipped and I fell on the rocks.
Lot of blood had already oozed out of my body and I was feeling very dizzy. I imaged my family and Stefen and almost unconsciously called the sheriff. The next time I opened my eyes, I saw myself in a hospital. My mom was sitting beside me. She couldn’t control her tears. I smiled and said, “I am all okay”. I wiped her tears. After few minutes, my dad and Sara came . I asked about Stefen and others. I was not at all ready to hear something bad. He said that they were all fine. I took a sigh of relief. Dad told me that they were all waiting outside and Stefen had gone to the doctor for final report. I looked at my artificial legs. I was miserable. But I was not disheartened. The time I spent with him taught me some really important lessons of life. I was still ready to tell him about what I had always felt for him.
After an hour , he came with the doctor. He hugged me tight . He filled the void that occurred because of the loss. He said,” let’s go now, u have slept a lot”. I laughed and hugged him again. He also told me that the Boss had asked me to permanently join the company. My family was proud of me and so did Stefen. I decided to work from tomorrow itself. We went home . I soon learnt to walk with those legs. I saw myself in the mirror. I was a little ashamed. Stefen saw me. He came inside and said, “mirror won’t tell you the way I see u”. I was awestruck. I became pretty sure that he loves me.
This was how I wanted my narrative to end but, it didn’t. That accident did occur. I did fall. I was there in the hospital. I still have artificial legs. But when I asked about Stefen, dad told that his car fell off in that disaster and everyone in the car died!
Stefen taught me how to live, how to be happy. I would just have disappointed him had I been dejected and shattered after his demise. I still work in the same company. I work hard to get the ‘Best Employee’ award every month. I sit on the same chair at cafe. We still laugh at ‘not so funny’ jokes. And………. I still love him.
__END__
