Here I’m, today, educated and earning, well settled what they call standing on my own legs. This incident, of proposing my love, happened almost a year back when I, Raj, and my current wife, Thilo were very close to each other but we didn’t named our friendship as love at that time.
We both finished our engineering and were working with different IT companies. One fine weekend, we planned and met at a restaurant for lunch. As always Thilo looked very elegant, in a cotton sari, smiling and attentive. Just a gentle hug and we sat in a corner table. Before I narrate further, wish to detail you that Thilo was my college friend with whom I’m well comfortable in talking almost all subjects without any hesitation. We respect each other and were always together wherever we go, to other friend’s house, parties, movies etc. I always had a special attention towards Thilo while she too expects my attention towards her, though we were in a group with few other boys & girls.
Coming back to the proposal day, though we were very comfortable talking anything & everything earlier, that particular day, I don’t know why but I feel something very strange pressure inside me makes it difficult to open up the topic, sweating while sitting in an AC environment, as if everyone’s voice is well above acceptable decibel limit, while Thilo confirmed the surrounding is very quiet as usual. She inquired if I’m OK. I just smiled and tried to be normal.
Somehow we finished our lunch and entered into the nearby mall as she’s very much into window shopping, just like every other girls, running into the shops, take the things in her hand, shows to me, smile and making funny faces. I offered to buy whatever she likes but she didn’t finalize anything. After I insist a few more times, she selected 2 nice tops for her. Later in our life,showing those tops, she teases me every time saying , “If it is not for the Love proposal, you would have not bought me these tops, isn’t it ?”; but that was not true, as I always gifts her something or the other, on every special occasion;
We sat in a place where I hold Thilo’s hand and pressed against my palm, holding it tight.
“Thilo” I started the conversation, “we talked many things so far, but …”
She’s very intelligent, must have sensed something but just gave a nice smile at me.
“In movies, there’ll be dialogues like … like 1000 flowers blooming, 1000 violin plays at the same time etc. – I think these such situations are not real, but”
“Raj, nothing is real until it happens to us” she replied;
Didn’t hear what she answered, I asked, “but, Thilo, are you not hungry ?”
blushed at my question, she replied “Raj, we just had a full packed lunch”
“Yes yes, we ate, but….”
“Raj, in case you feel hungry, lets go for coffee, anything for you, Raj”, that was my Thilo, always supporting me.
“Yes, Yes we ate …. I …. don’t know but”
“Raj, you used the word but multiple times today; want to tell something to me ?”
“Yes, Thilo … but”
“come, sit here” she showed the seat next to her.
“Am I not already seated ? ” confused I’m and realised standing nearby, went and sat next to her.
“Inhale, breath in” she advised me; Thilo is well practised in yoga too.
I just did what she told me to do.
“now exhale, breath out”
I did.
“breath in … again … little more”
I did.
“Exhale, breath out”
I did and repeated this exercise for 3 more times.
“Now tell me Raj, whatever you wish to tell”
“I … you … don’t know but” I was word typing while talking with her.
“Raj I love you Raj” she said.
“I … Thilo”
“Raj, I …. Love … You” Thilo spoke word by word.
“I … Thilo, what you said now ?” Just I realised something.
she smilled at me.
“Thilo, can you please repeat what you said just now ?” I requested her.
“Raj, I said, I … Love … You” Thilo repeated slowly, word by word, for me.
I was speechless. I heard what I need to convey. The intelligence of Thilo made me go word less. My abnormal breathing, the tension inside my heart, everything seems to be absolutely normal at that time.
“Thilo, I’m sorry … I too love you, sincerly, Thilo”
“Are you OK now ?” she asked
“Yes, I’m sincerely in love with you” I shouted in joy but politely.
“You hesitated to tell me that you were in love with me, right Raj ?”
“I’m sorry, Thilo, I thought you’ll deny my proposal” I made a funny face and asked to apologised to her.
“I love you, my man” she took my hands and kissed my palm.
“Something from inside stops … prevents me ……from saying ……… Love you, I regret for that, Thilo”
“That’s a fear, all men have; A coward feeling when you think you cannot face the reaction, A feeling … when you yourself thinks you cannot getup when fall down, the feeling you get when you are not ready to face the reaction”
“I’m sorry dear, please excuse but …. I love you”
We then kissed gently, I already bought a gold chain which I gifted her, on our proposal day, walked hand-in-hand. A mild rain showered us with good luck blessings.
–END–
