There is no getting over you…

Pari was just wrapping up a meeting and heading out of the conference room. Leena smiled at her. Pari walked to the VP and shook her hand.

” I want you to meet someone. He’s new here. ” Leena continued waving towards someone in a gray suit to come into the room.

“Sure.” Pari said turning around and looking at whom Leena was waving to. Her world came crashing down.  ITS HIM. No, it can’t be him. Last I heard, he was working in London. 

” Are you alright Pari? ” Leena asked looking surprised at the lack of color on Pari’s face. Pari managed to nod.

Varun was walking towards Leena smiling at her all the while. Then he saw her. His heart skipped a beat. ITS PARI. Was he dreaming? He felt a mixture of feelings when his eyes met hers. Love, pain, hatred and a deep sense of longing.

” Varun meet Pari. You guys are on the same team from tomorrow.” Leena said still trying to make sense of Pari and Varun’s awkward glances.

Pari swallowed. She was still searching for words. Varun spoke.

” Hi. I am Varun. Its a pleasure meeting you.”  he said rather nonchalantly. This is the for the best. She’s married now. I can’t possibly have hopes of rekindling this relationship.

” Hello. ” Pari said. Did he not recognize me? 

“Okay. I need to be somewhere in a few minutes and looks like I am late. See you later. ” Leena left with that.

Pari and Varun stood there for quite sometime before Varun walked away. Pari looked at Varun walking away. He completely got over me? But, I never could. How did he forget all that we have been through? 

Pari walked into his chamber. He was staring out of the window.

” Hey.” She said.

Varun heard her. He didn’t turn around. Why is this woman here? What does she want? Oh please Pari, I don’t wan’t be friends with you. I can’t talk to you knowing you belong to someone. I can’t look into those eyes. I’ll find someone else in them. Not myself.

” Varun? ” She called again. Can he hear me? Why is he doing this?

” Oh Hi. Didn’t see you there. New office you know.I was just lost in the view here. Spectacular, isn’t it?” He said pointing to the window. Please leave. I can’t put up this charade any longer.

Pari didn’t say a word. She just looked at him. How can he talk like this? Like I am nothing to him?

” Varun. Why are you doing this? ” she demanded. ” I don’t blame you for hating me for running into you like this but acting like you don’t even know me is ridiculous. ”

” Pari, I am just trying to be a good co-worker. Do we really need to rake up all that dirty past? Please don’t make it horrible again. Please. ” Varun said.  You hurt me. You left me. I still feel the pain and angst. These three years have been the low point of my life.

Dirty past? And here I am still loving you. There is no moving on from someone like you. You were my first love.

” You are right. I am sorry. We are better as strangers. I am really sorry. I won’t disturb you. ” Pari said and walked out.

Like you’ll ever be a stranger to me Pari.  I still have those memories to live with. That’s all I’ve got. They rip open my heart and new pain arises every time but that’s all I’ve got. I like holding on to them.

During the course of their project, Pari and Varun were very professional with each other. They were as close as any normal colleagues would be and as distant as two strangers could be. They avoided each other until its absolutely necessary. Leena was there for the product release. She congratulated them both. She and Varun were talking near the bar while Pari was talking to another colleague.

” The first time I saw you guys I thought you would never work together. You seemed to hate each other.” Leena said.

” Ha ha Leena. Pari is a good co-worker and a delight to work with.” Varun said looking at the champagne glass in his hand.  Yeah. Because working with the love of your life knowing she is married to someone else is a “DELIGHT”.

Only Varun knew how hard it was for him to see her everyday. It was worse than losing her the first time. This was a new kind of torture.

” Yeah she is quite impressive isn’t she? But you know what I don’t get? How can a lovely girl like her be single? ” Leena mused.

” Single?” Varun asked. What? Single?

” Yeah. I had a similar reaction too. Her rejection of all things male is legendary around the office. ” Leena laughed.

Varun excused himself. ” I don’t feel well. I’ll be back. ” He said to Leena.

Pari was looking great in a blue dress. She was talking to Nikhil. She saw Varun walking towards her. He looks irritated. I know that look. He’s mad at something.

He smiled at Nikhil, ” I am going to have to take her away. Need to talk to her about work.” With that, he took her hand and walked out.

” Varun. Where are we going? ” Pari said trying not think of her hand in his.

” Some place where you and I can talk. ” He responded.  Her hands are cold as always. Those tiny fingers. The texture. Stop it Varun. You need an explanation now. 

They were now standing in the lawn that seemed to be deserted. It was a chilly night and Pari could feel the warmth radiating off Varun’s hand.

He left her hand.  ” Pari, I am going to ask you this only once. Better say the truth. ” He said.

” I never lied to you. ” Pari looked up at him. ” What is this about? I thought you wanted to stay as strangers? ”

” Are you married? ” He asked abruptly.

” No.” She said. Is he insane? Why would he think that? Is that why he never called me again? Is that why he was so weird to me? Because he thought I was married?

” Sh*t. ” He was shaking now. He kicked a flower pot nearby.

“Are you okay Varun? ” She asked.

He turned around and held her shoulders. ” Do you know what the last three years were like? The pain? ” He demanded.

” Do you know what its like when you never called or took my calls? How I felt? How absolutely helpless I felt? ” She retorted.

” I thought you were married, you dammit. That’s why I never took them. I was in deep sh*t already. I thought I’d break more if I heard your voice. ” he said now looking at her directly.

“How could you believe that? That I would leave you? You left the country saying you’d marry me when you are back. I waited. And one day you stopped calling and never took my calls again. I thought it was over for us. I thought you didn’t love me anymore. But I couldn’t help myself when I saw you again. I wanted to get close again. But you pushed me away yet again. ”  She said trying to fight tears.

” But, but… Neelam told me you were married in a hurry and you left to the States. ” He said trying to piece everything together.

” They tried to marry me off to some NRI. But I resisted. I said I would never marry anyone but you. Dad finally understood me and forgave me. I tried calling you saying that I convinced him but you never picked up. ” She said.

Varun didn’t know what to say. They didn’t break up because they didn’t love each other. But, because fate was against them. But now it seemed to be trying to make amends.

” I am so sorry Pari. I don’t know what to say. I never got over you. You were my first love, Pari. Its not that easy to forget. Your love hit me in the middle of my ordinary life.It just happened. I am really sorry. But the pain was overwhelming. That’s why I never took your calls. I couldn’t talk to you when we met here. It was too painful. I almost thought of quitting. But, a part of me still wanted to see you. Forgive me Pari. Take me back. ” Varun was holding her hands and speaking now.

” You take me back Varun. I am sorry too. I thought you left me. I should have tried harder to reach you.  I don’t know why I didn’t. Last three years were unbearable. I could never look at a guy the way I looked at you. I never felt what I felt with you. I was dead inside. I cannot say how I felt when I saw you again. I lived for the brief moments we shared at work. Even though I hated you, I loved you. ” She said clutching his hands and tears rolling down her cheeks.

” I am going to marry you as soon as possible Pari. I don’t want anything or anyone coming between us anymore. If I could, I would do it right here right now. I need you Pari. ” He said hugging her tightly.

” I love you Varun. Always. ” She hugged him back. ” I missed you so much. ” She continued.

” I missed you more. Come here please. ” He took her  face into his arms earnestly to seal her lips with a kiss.

He ended up kissing the tip of her nose instead. Pari laughed and blushed.

” I guess I shouldn’t close my eyes. I am getting it all wrong.” He laughed playing with her hair.

” You forgot how to kiss a girl? What did you do in London? No pretty English ladies eh?” she teased tugging the tip of his collar.

” Lots. But I had my eyes and heart set on a beautiful and amazing woman back home. ” He smiled tracing his fingertips on her cheekbone.

” Hmm. Well, good for you because she hasn’t forgotten some things. ” She ran her fingers through his hair and locked her arms around his neck. Their lips met and they finally forgave each other.

__END__