Destiny drives love

She tip toed in the dark room, grabbing a hot cup of coffee she rambled towards the large window pane of her living room. And with it, in seconds she went into seclusion where only her thoughts could be her companion. For the first time in five years her emotions became alive, she shivered a bit when the flowing wind engulfed her but cold was not worth her attention. Sipping her coffee she stood there for long, enticed in the beauty of glistening moon she lost track of time. After a lot of thinking she came back to square one , reiterating the same questions to herself. Why does our past always follow us? When will the toucher of these haunted fears stop ? Why the hell I am always deprived of happiness?

Her complaints choked her. Her eyes drenched in tears deprived her of any blessing she could have cherished. Neither she could hold on to her past and nor she could let it go. She found herself stuck in the dilemma, minute by minute her turmoil increased to zenith. She was all tormented when the destiny planned to give her another roller coaster. She picked her vibrating phone after ignoring it for fifteenth time. And then in the next second all she could do was grab her keys and rushed towards her car.

When on the road all she did was cry, wretched in pain. He was all she had lived for and now if anything happened to him she will never be able to make it back to life. She found herself nostalgic, her childhood fears haunted her.

It was a bright sunny morning when she woke up with jitter. The first thing she did was search for her mother. She hastily ran towards her room in her search but all she found, were suitcases. Not one or two but seven big suitcases all packed.

“Mumma, are we going for a vacation?” a ten year old feebly asked.

“No beta, only papa and mumma are going for work. Aanya will stay here with her dadi.”

“Mumma, Why can’t we go along with you?”

“No Aanya. You have school, friends over here and you love dadi so much”.

Her parents left, saying “Papa mumma loves you, we will be back soon.”

And the little Aanya spend the whole night in her grandmother’s lap wondering why her parents had to leave? When will they come back? Had the little soul realized the reality she would have been able to grab the present more wisely. Initially she felt out of the place, though everything was same but the minute she entered her home she felt different, alone. The only tangible family she had was her grandmother, her parents, siblings all resided in one soul and the other person she showered love upon was her best friend Shivika, who was always by her side no matter what. Gradually she adjusted with what life served her with a hope that someday good things will come up. And it did happen, once again she started to believe in life. She felt the luckiest person alive.

It was her college’s cultural pro gramme and as usual being a bright and obedient child she was put on with a bucket full of responsibilities. It was something she liked doing and was now used to it. Having plethora of chores she remained the busy bee. And that was when she met Gaurav. It was not like that he became her addiction at prima facie. On the contrary she loathed him more than anything. But she had to work with him because he was punished to do so and she felt that his punishment is ruining her leisure. The way he talked chewing gum, his casual attitude, frivolous approach annoyed her. And the water crossed its brim when one day he labeled her jealous because she asked him to do his work rather than flirting. That was the day she made a common conclusion about rich brats.

And all Shivika did was laugh about her statements about him as she already predicted the future. Her hatred started to dwindle when one day Gaurav begged her for help. He asked her to teach him so that he could at least pass or otherwise his luxurious life would be snatched away. Witnessing him pleading she could not resist and she melted. Their bond strengthened within days of knowing each other and with that in no time Aanya could deny her wrong judgments.

And then she wondered how easily we develop hatred or liking towards people without actually knowing them only on the basis of what other people think about them. We never bother to see the other side of things that he might be misunderstood, he may not have till date found anyone he could behave differently with or may be all his actions has a positive side but just because we don’t like him already, we absolutely refuse to accept him as a better person. But on the other side if we love somebody we start admiring all his unacceptable actions too, we fall in love with his every habit and if someone contradicts them we turn blind only because we love them they become inappropriate to do something unreliable. How funny humans are she laughed.

The final day was the result Aanya stood second but this time she was glad to let go of her topper tag because for her Gaurav’s distinction mattered more. No doubt she was elated but a second later sadness wrapped her realizing that he could not see him anymore, she already started to miss him and then she decided that it is high time to confess and for the first time in life she decided to do something without bothering about the future results. That was the second time life mocked on her. She can still remember each and every word he said,

“Aanya you are my most faithful friend. I can do anything for you but I am not sure about us. You are so different, special, you need to conquer the world and I don’t know if you need my help. Things happen for a reason and this too had something though we can’t guess it yet but someday we will. Even if I love you I cannot have you… please forgive me if you can”

They both had tears that day, feelings were crushed so badly that no one could ever feel the sunshine of next day. It was all a black dark night. Aanya cried in her grandmother’s lap that day just like she did when her parents abandoned her but that was the last time. After a few months her grandmother too died and she did not shed a single tear. She did not had any emotions or feelings or anything. Everything went cold dead since that day. Her boss admired her for her dedication and colleagues envied her for she was the example of successful business woman, they thought she had a perfect life had they only known the miseries behind the curtain.

She pulled her car in and ran in the hospital like a maniac. Hospitals have always made her nausea as if they exists just to snatch people’s life, the feeling of between medicines made her sick. But this was not the time she could let her hatred pile up.

She stuck her eyes at the small window which led her to him after five long years. Tears refused to stop, it seemed the much defrosted ice melted just a yet. Her emotions clogged, this was not supposed to happen. She knew he might not love her but why she could not resist herself, the questions, reasons everything was blur. Hapless she found her, the enormous efforts of her mind of being practical failed to calm her inner anxiety. She always wanted to be the lightening by his side, get a glimpse of his cheer and hold his hand in the darkness, glorify their journey of togetherness, to explore the tacit side of his actions. She had her own endless vows but if she said words could describe that, it would be an understatement.

A masculine hand rested on her shoulder, she turned it was Dheeraj. She gulped the water he gave and made her sit without exchanging a word.

“I has heading towards home after the meeting with him when I received a call about his accident and the immediately I ran towards the hospital. And then all I did was trying your number until you picked.”

“I…”

He hushed her down as if he could understand all her reasons. “You do not need to give any explanations Aanya I know what you might be going through. Shivika told me everything. It’s okay just know I am there and I am not leaving you any soon.” He said and smiled.

The words he spoke out could not do anything other than loathe herself even more. She wondered why mutual feelings arise so rare. She knew Dheeraj loved her but why she could not give him a chance. Her experience had made her so feeble that there is nothing left inside her to give, the only reason she gave herself to water her own satisfaction. When we fall short of reasons to explain our actions how easily we make them up just a give self satisfaction. A truth we fail to accept. In case her reasons were true then how come today her love was pouring for the one who left her long back. How could this be explained.

“Who is she?” she pointed to the girl just sitting adjacent to Dheeraj.

“She is Agrima, Gaurav’s daughter” he did want to confide in her with this.

But this was not his choice, she had the right to know. He knew what she will have to go through but he also admired the strong Aanya in her and he will stood always by her side to watch her stumbling steps.

“ Hey Agrima, you have a very pretty name. Where is your mother?”

The small little girl first looked at the stranger and then answered what she knew “Papa says she resides with in us and one day she will meet us.” the innocent answer was all she could utter.

Aanya did not knew what was she supposed to believe. It was now easy to grasp his family for she knew not everyone could wait for their love. Yes, she was tarnished, it broke her to imagine him with any other woman but all her fears vanish in the wake of leashing out two letters A and G together. There was an unusual happiness she felt. Dheeraj could only smile for she knew this was the first thing she would notice. He loved her what his love was selfless without any conditions to get back.

The doctor broke the silence and with that the little angle run towards her father. Aanya was dubious in confronting the one she thought she would never met mortally. But her wait was beyond eternity, it wanted to end soon now. Dheeraj gave her assurance she needed. The sound of the the opening door diverted the four eyes to it. Gaurav exclaimed it to be his illusion for he had no reason to admire such a beautiful reality. For him Aanya was an unforgettable past because of which he felt blessed.

“Aanya” the pale face uttered. Aanya stood by his bed, the formal conversation showed their separation of ages and when Dheeraj escorted Agrima the dead silence killed them.

“Aanya I am sorry, I did not let you know that I had a meeting in your office because I knew what your reaction will be. I realize that I hurt you in past but it was not easy for me too. When you cut all contacts with me I realised your importance, it was a very difficult phase for me too, I did not knew that you played such an imperative role in my life, I tried to contact you but Shivika did not let me. She was right I was no good for you. And then with in year my parents forced me to marry Riddhima, our family friend. She was pretty, smart but I could never get over you, I failed be a good husband. I know she deserved all the happiness but I could not give her. I was weak Aanya. And when I was first handed my princess I trembled, I named her Agrima the first moment I saw her because all I could see in her was you but then I was suspicious about my role as a father and then I pledged to give her all the happiness of the world. But now I do not see that happening, I could not able to beautify any life on this earth. I was failed and mocked on every stage.”

The tears were his accumulated pain she let them go, it was necessary. Aanya felt in dilemma whether to slap him or to cry with him. She chose the second as sometimes letting go is better than holding on. Both of them cried endlessly. She could not spoke a single word neither the words were needed. The pain was so immense that it would became difficult to count on its reasons. It seemed that the bright golden light absorbed them in after a century of darkness. For the mortal world he was gone but still Aanya had part in her in which he lived forever.

“Aanya are you okay?” the only consoling hand was of Dheeraj.

“Dheeraj I have decided something I have decided to adopt Agrima.” the words were not astonishing for he knew that she could see a little ten year old in Agrima and she could not let her history repeat itself. Her scratches were still alive. She could not let Gaurav fail this time.

“Aanya can I ask you something?” though she was amazed by this response, he was not startled, he understood her more than she think he does. “Aanya can we raise her together?”

If we want we may lighten the lamp of our lives our blew it in seconds. It depends on us and yes it does. The full fled family of Dheeraj, Aanya and Agrima is a true example.

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