Love Short Story – We love ‘love and sex’, not the person!
Photo credit: imelenchon from morguefile.com
It was a cold cloudy Monday morning in New Delhi and the temperature hovered in single digits. The awakening sun was peeping out from behind the dark clouds. I am not an early riser but I was awakened by the sound of water cannonading into a plastic bucket in my bathroom. My new roommate, Akanksha Banerjee, was getting ready. She was a new entrant in our advertising company. One of my office colleagues, Disha, knew Akanksha and had requested me to accommodate her in my three BHK flat in which I had been living alone for the last two years—since I arrived in New Delhi. I happily accepted the request because I was bored with doing only two things in my room—first, talking to the walls and second, writing on the walls of my Facebook friends. I badly needed a flat-mate who could share my solitude.
“Nupur, get up. I don’t want to be late. It’s my first day in the office, yaar.”
Akanksha said while coming out from the bathroom wrapped in a blue towel. I did not respond. I was still supine on bed and pretended to be asleep. Meanwhile, she quickly put on her undergarments and swiftly slipped into a pair of black jeans, a formal white shirt and a collared navy blue jacket. Within 15 minutes she was ready to leave for the office. She shook my shoulders gently to wake me up.
“Nupur. Its 8:00. Hurry up or else we will be late,” she said in a polite tone.
I didn’t say anything and replied her with a brief nod and humming sound. I squinted at the alarm-clock to confirm the time by myself and got up rubbing the sleep from my eyes and yawning. I looked out of the window of my room. A light rain had begun to fall and drops of rain were beating against the window panes. The window in my room looked out at a broad street connecting one of the main roads of South Delhi. I could see a couple of school children, beaming from ear to ear, wading through the waterlogged road holding unopened colourful umbrellas in their hands. Others on the street had hidden themselves under a shed or were trying to find one before they get drenched in the untimely rain. Children were the ones who were enjoying the rain most. The scene filled me with exhilaration and child-like joy that rain always brings for me and dissipates all my pains and tensions.
“Nupur, your tea.” Akanksha broke off the silence and appeared with two cups of tea in her hands.
“I am sorry I overslept today and you have to make tea all by yourself. I will be ready in 10 minutes.” I thanked her in an embarrassing tone. I finished the tea, took a shower and dressed myself up quickly.
“Should we wait for rain to stop?” Akanksha asked.
I reminded her that we were already late and will have to reach office, come what may, by nine ‘o’ clock.
“Get a move on because Sushant does not listen to any excuse. It is just drizzling and we will get an auto at Ram Krishna crossroad that is just 200-meters away from here.”I insisted.
Sushant Mishra is the Creative Head of our ad agency. He always acts like a perfectionist and reaches office at 8 AM– an hour before everyone arrives in. He does not like people coming late to the office. We came down, and standing at the doorway of our apartment, began looking for a passing by auto. It had started raining heavily and there was no sign of getting an auto. On one hand, I was enjoying the weather and, on the other, was concerned about reaching office in time. A few minutes later Ms Ahuja of Wing B entered in our enclave in an auto. We thanked God and Ms Ahuja and hired the auto. It took twenty minutes to reach office. We paid the fare and rushed quickly into the office premises to escape rain. We were in time.
Akanksha went straight to the HR department to complete all the formalities required to join the company. I entered the marketing department to meet Vishal Mehta who had come to the office after one-month. He was in Mumbai for a refresher course in Corporate Communication. However, I had met him last evening at his home; it was nice seeing him in the office again.
Vishal and I were in a relationship for last five years since my college days. He was the man I had fallen in love with at nineteen when I first saw him at the birthday party of my best friend–Nikita. He was the man my heart and body had craved ever since. He was the man I had given my virginity to at twenty. He did not cheat, never lied, always made me feel special and moreover, treated me like a queen. He was everything I wanted—successful, handsome, financially secure and caring. He was the perfect guy for me, better than the guy of my dreams. But a few words, he said yesterday, changed everything between Vishal and me. He told me that he is confused about his feelings about me. The reason, as he explained, is growing discomfiture in the relationship. He had started disliking the way I am. He told me that he does not like me spending my weekends with my office colleagues. The company of my friends bugs him. He no more likes my chubby looks which he used to find attractive and cute when he proposed me five years ago. He thinks we should take a break. I was anxious to know whatever he told me last night, he really meant or just said because he was over drunk. I entered his cabin where he was busy with someone over phone. I looked at him and he looked appealing and charming as always.
“Hi, Vishal!” I greeted him with a faint smile.
Without looking at me; he greeted in a low husky voice, “hello.”
He hanged up the phone uttering a few words in a low tone. My heart was pounding fast to know what he had in his mind last night. In the back of my mind, I was quite sure whatever he told me yesterday he didn’t mean it. My belief was founded on wrong perceptions.
“Hi, Nupur! How you have been?” Vishal asked formally.
“Missed you a lot all these days,” I said. It was a bit strange he called me by my name instead of calling me by the named he had coined for me.
“Give it a break for God sake. We are breaking up and I expect you to make it easy for both of us.” He said angrily.
“What? Have you lost it? I thought you were drunk or kidding last night.” I said keeping my cool.
“I was not kidding. I am damn serious,” He yelled.
Fear of ending a five-year long amazing relationship flashed in my eyes and tears rolled on my cheeks.
“How can you say this Vishal? Have a heart! We are in a relationship for last five years. What is the problem with you?” I focused my attention on him and watched how his body stiffened with my reaction.
“What’s the problem with me? Grow up, Nupur. I am just fed up with your possessiveness. I am fed up with your nagging. You cannot get along with anyone. You ask me not to meet this girl; ‘don’t talk to that girl’, ‘why are you staring at her’; and all this nonsense. I cannot take it anymore.”
“But you never complained about this.” I said blinking back my tears. I knew my nagging could not be the reason of this big step and I knew, somehow, something was wrong.
“I did not tell you because you always create a scene and make me feel guilty for everything.”
“Are you into someone else?” I asked breathlessly ignoring all his explanations.
“It should not matter anymore that I am into someone else or not. See. I don’t want to create a scene in the office. I will meet you in the evening at your place.” He said trying to escape the uncomfortable questions I posed.
“No. I don’t want to meet. You don’t want this relationship. It’s fine with me. I won’t force you for dragging the relationship. Its better we say good bye for once and for all.”
I told him heatedly. I wiped off my tears and walked out from the cabin with a heavy heart. I was broken and wanted to be alone. I could not stay in the office for long. I called up Sushant and took the day off.
***
I was shattered from inside and depressed beyond belief. I felt for the first time that life is full of loneliness, unhappiness and misery and happiness does not exist at all. My philosopher friend Nikita had told me once, “Love is like a blank cheque. You give it to a wrong person and you regret all your life.” I had mocked at her and on her understanding of life and love. I was now realising how true she was. I had given everything to Vishal—my heart, my body, my time, and my life and, in return, I was robbed off my happiness. I had decided that I would not call him but to tell him this; I ended up calling him ten times in the fifteen minutes of my solitude at my apartment. He didn’t take my call. I really wanted to know what ‘really’ made him take this harsh decision. I didn’t sleep that night and saw flashbacks of our great moments spent together, running in my mind. I was constantly asking myself since he broke up with me: Am I no more desirable? Have I gained too much weight? Is he going with someone else? I wanted to know the reason of break up because it was necessary to know before coming to any conclusion or taking a step forward in life without him. I decided to peep into his Facebook profile. I opened my truss-patterned white laptop to log-in into his FB profile. There were twenty seven friend requests and four hundred something notifications. I went through all the notifications, messages and chat sessions. I stopped at a chat session he had with Akanksha Banerjee—my new flat mate.
I was dumbfounded. It was all planned. His interaction with Akanksha said it all. Vishal had meticulously planned the breakup two months ago. He knew her for long and had used Disha to convince me to accommodate Akanksha in my flat so Vishal can meet her easily since he lived nearby.
“I just love the way your mind works. You are a genius,” Akanksha had written to him. Vishal was a real genius. She was right in her observation. If this was not enough to add my misery a recent update rubbed salt on my festering wounds. He had updated: “Free from the shackles of a mind-numbing relationship.”
It was an effort to hurt and humiliate me. I could not believe that Vishal could stoop so low. I did not react. I did not even delete him from my friends’ list but restricted his access in my life and in my FB profile. I had decided to move on. My friends were a great support during my break up. They took me out for movies and late-night parties. They told me it’s not all doom and gloom after break up and I should get over him soon and move on. I was trying hard to forget everything of the past and restart the life afresh but it was getting difficult by each passing day. I keep sifting the pieces of the relationship through my mind but all in vain. I failed miserably every time I tried to reflect the person I was on my way to becoming not the image of the girl Vishal dumped.
I wanted to find out what should I do to get over him? The good memories of our relationship were still binding me with him. I have read in a book, perhaps written by some mathematician in love, ‘it takes half the time of the total length of a relationship to get over it.’ But I could not remain in this mood for two and half years. They say when human beings get into difficulties, they turn towards God. I turned to Nikita. After three days of the ‘break-up’ I called Nikita. She was the best person I had ever known. I poured my heart out at her home. I was leaning on her shoulders and tears were warming my face. I told her Vishal broke up with me for no mistake of mine. She said wiping my tears off with her white handkerchief,
“Let’s face it, Nupur. He has moved on and you should forget him.” She continued, “Life never stops for anyone. The acceleration of life may get fast or slow but it does not stop. This is the bitter truth of human life and you should accept it.”
I was feeling cosy and comfortable in her presence. She reminded me that she had rightly warned me long ago, “Love is like a blank cheque…..” She continued telling me the truths of life she had learned from her philosophy lessons but all her words were falling on my deaf ears as I slept soundly after a long time.
***
I had decided to do everything which I didn’t do when I was in a relationship with Vishal. I had decided to begin talking to Sushmit who had been a very good friend and had proposed me on the last Valentine’s Day. I had broken off all the relations with him the day he expressed his love for me. I messaged Sushmit: “I want to meet you.” He replied back in the blink of an eye with three questions in reply to my one message: “Where? What time? Anything urgent?” We met and after a long chat over several cups of coffee he invited me to Mumbai. I immediately accepted this proposal because Delhi air was suffocating me.
We were in Mumbai the next day and had taken only one room because I had insisted as I didn’t want to be alone even for a second at this point of time. It was I who did most of the talking and he listened. I talked about my crush at the University; I spoke of my unfulfilled desires and dreams of life; I spoke of my relationship with Vishal and break up. He did not react on anything and listen to my bak bak with devoted attentiveness. His eyes were glowing with honesty and unconditional love. I didn’t know what happened to me. One moment I was staring at him, and the next moment I reached out and kissed him on his right cheek. He didn’t expect the act. Though, he responded but with fumbling hands and shivering lips. I did not know what I was doing. I thought for a second that it was foolish to make love with your best friend. But I kept all the ideas aside under the pillow as I had intended to go with the flow and regret the act of my foolishness later. And the next moment he was wrapped in my arms and my lips were devouring his. It was an act of mutual recognition of desire and the need for intimacy. The kiss had melted the core of my being. His body was so arousing that every woman can only dream in their idealistic fantasy. It was the biggest compliment I could offer anyone. Whatever happened next was difficult to put into words. He was novice and fumbled with buttons, hooks and zip.
His clumsy reciprocation to my advances made me smile on his ignorance and incompetence on bed. He repeatedly reminded me that he still loved me and had been waiting for me for long. We shared one of the best moments of our lives and I wanted to live those moments indefinitely. Sushmit fell asleep after the repeating the acts he had learned between the sheets. My mobile phone beeped and it was a long-message from Vishal who was sorry for his behaviour and wanted me back in his life. He had realised that Akanksha had used him to get into the ad agency. I’d stayed awake whole night thinking about the moments shared with Sushmit, his proposal for marriage and the message by Vishal.
I could not believe the strength of affinity that had built between me and Sushmit in a few days. Had I spent some more days with him in Mumbai I would have eloped with him without giving a second thought about its consequences. Vishal had already put a crimp on my life plans. This time I did’nt want to allow him to ruin my life all over again. I was happy not because Vishal learned the lesson of his life but was happy that I was getting hitched with Sushmit. I had said yes to him the very next day.
***
I had called Vishal in the marriage not because I wanted to hurt and humiliate him because it was the decision of Sushmit who had asked me to invite him and make the world of relationship better. Vishal wished me and said: “Happy Wedding Nupur. If I had understood you then I would have been standing next to you. I didn’t deserve you.” He said in a low voice and disappeared amidst the flickering colourful lights and crowd of party revellers. I didn’t say anything but my eyes brimmed with shimmering gratitude for Sushmit. I looked at him and, I could see in his eyes, my face was glowing with inimitable felicity.
__END__
