Love doesn’t change, people change

May 2, 2013:

Even a single teardrop on the hospital aisle is a symbol of truest praying and feeling of a true heart. The only place where politics and religion haven’t sowed their seeds is the hospital grounds but however the people working here are corrupted.

Its been more than an hour, i’m waiting outside Dr.Vijay’s room to get my mother’s report. I made up my mind that the report will be normal. I’m not a girly type to cry and create sympathy all around, being an optimist is the best thing about myself.

My phone received a text from vinoth saying
“Hello idiot, waiting for ur text”.

I ignored his message, hurting him is not new to me since the day we met. We were friends till grade 5 but due to his dad’s transfer his family shifted to Bombay. After 7 years i met him in a cultural fest, in fact i started loving him from the first day i met him but till now i haven’t expressed it to him. He saw me at a dance event, my hands were already up to wave him a hi, but he didn’t react.  My lips got bend like a rainbow, he couldn’t recognize me. Announcement were made that the light music is going to start within an hour. Football ground was packed with tons of girls shouting to start the competition. I could see girls screaming, dancing and singing songs along with the competitors but i couldn’t do anything because vinoth was still disturbing me.

“And the last competitor of this competition is vinoth” the compere shouted.

My heart which was already filled by his face, is now going to be filled by his voice. He looked stunning and the girls started shouting.

“I love You, vinoth” His face was an electromagnet which attracted more than thousand eyes. Beyond this attraction i felt sad that he couldn’t recognize me.

“Lovely Evening girls”, he shouted.

His fingers started firing the strings of the guitar. The loudness if calculated will be more than 150 decibel which is more than a jet take off but the important fact is that our breathing is just 10 decibel.

“This song is dedicated to my long time friend who loves to blow soap bubbles” his words reached my heart not my ears, it was me for whom he dedicated the song. I felt so happy that he recognized me. He is really an heart throb. After the fest, i was waiting to meet him but he was already surrounded by girls. With disappointment invading me again i went to the bus stop.

“Hi harini, how about a coffee with me?” Its him again, i’m totally paralyzed. My heart was just swaying.
He asked me to get on the bike.
Like some fairy tale happening in front of me, i just kept smiling and nodded for all the questions he asked.
It started to rain he told me to wait in the coffee shop. I was wondering where he left and was smiling like an idiot thinking about him. A soap bubble came in front of my eyes in which i could see vinoth’s reflection. When i turned it was like oh! my god.

He has filled the coffee shop with soap bubbles.

Suddelny a bold voice interrupted my visualizations, “Harini, doctor is calling you”

The workers in hospitals are always rude, they don’t even show patience with patients. Staring at her i opened the door.

“Excuse me doctor”

“Hello harini, come in” doctor was looking normal. I got releaved by his expressions.

“Just relax yourself and try to accept the truth” doctor said with a sad face. Reaction of doctors are same at all stages.
Humans without feelings can be named as doctors.

“What happend doctor?” my voice started shivering.

“Your mother attained last stage of cancer, operation didn’t help us. Her body is fully invaded by cancer” His words were more pointed so that it would tear my heart into two pieces. Tears started flooding my face.

“And…. She will live only for 30 days” he said with his voice cracking. My life became a question mark, when my mother’s lifetime narrowed down to two digit number. Doctor’s words started echoing around me.

“Keep her happy, fulfill her dreams” he said in a formal note. Tears is the only companion when someone is feeling lonely. I grabbed all those reports and started running. My brain started sending signals to go somewhere, to die the next second. Pain caused by suicide is lesser than seeing my mother die before me. She is my role model, the strongest women i have ever seen. I reached my house, she was lying in her bed seeing my childhood photos with moist eyes.

“What did the report say dear?” She asked in her bold voice.

“You are alright ma. Just a couple of tablets a day and you will be good” I couldn’t control my tears,i ran into my room. I don’t wanna share this with my friends and create a sympathetic scene. I know that the love they show at this time is not true, which is one of the lessons my mother taught me. My dad left us when i was 6 years old. A lady who is not behind a man’s shadow with a child in her hands will be addressed in a rude manner. Many hands helped us but none of their hearts were clean. My phone kept beeping but i was not in a state to search letters to type and express my feelings to vinoth. I don’t wanna share my feelings even to vinoth because i don’t want him to marry me seeing my situation. My eyes will surely see him in another angle as it does to other males. And i cant even tell my mom that i am in love, she doesn’t believe in love marriage because she doesnt want me to become like her.

The only thing that makes me normal by bearing my tears is my pillow.

“Get up dear its already late, go get some fresh air” My mom shouted which made me feel normal. As i wiped my eyes like a baby i could see the reports in front of me waiting to stab my heart. I couldnt see those even for a minute i rushed to refresh myself.

“Ma i am going out to temple, do you need anything i will get you on the way”
“No dear just pray well”
I took my phone and was shocked to see i had 53 missed calls and 61 texts from vinoth. I called him again.

“What?” I could feel his anger by his accent.

“I’m really sorry, i was busy yesterday” I replied him in a soft voice.

“Oh fine!! then do your work, just leave me alone”

I could feel him banging his phone in his bed. I rushed to his house and shood out with a sad face. He came with his eyes painted with red.

He took his bike, his acceleration made a thick smoke in which i could merely disappear. We reached temple, i made up my mind to ask thousand questions to god but the only thing i could do is cry.

“Hey what happened harini, I am sorry for behaving rude to you. My hands are always waiting to hold yours” Atleast there is one heart to make me feel better. I made a wish to god that vinoth and my mom should be with me always.

Days kept running like a stream. My mom’s health became even worse. She couldn’t move and doctors advised her to be in bed. She couldn’t even talk to me. Whenever she sees me, she cries a lot. I haven’t seen her sleep at nights without crying.

My tear glands started to strave. I was not in a condition to talk to vinoth. The only thing i do is delete my inbox to make it wait for his messages. More than reading his messages i felt better whenever i see his name in my display.

 

May 25, 2013:
12:00 am:

My phone started beeping, when i saw the display i was shocked.

“Happy Birthday dear, I will be with you always. Everything can change, but love doesn’t.

The first wish for my birthday is my mother. Then a couple of messages came wishing my birthday.I ran to hug my mom. When i went near her she was sleeping.

“Mommy, thank you soo much for wishing”. She wasn’t reacting, i shook her, she was not responding. I could not feel her heart beat. I took her phone the message she sent me was a timed message. I called the doctor, he came after one hour and said she is no more. My life has come to an end. There is nobody left for me.

Neighbours came running and made arrangements for everything. There were many people talking around me but i could hear anything. My tears too are not with me. The day she gave birth to me is the day she left me alone.

“Where is harini?” The only voice i heard in the crowd it was vinoth, he came running to me. I hugged him and cried that she has left me alone.

I told vinoth not to burn my mom because she cannot withstand it, please bury her. After few hours, the lady who gave life to me was beneath the ground leaving me alone. As time passed by all left the place, i was still lying next to my mom. I could feel loneliness invading me.

“Harini” a hand similar to my mom touched me. It was vinoth.

“Please dont leave me alone” I cried to him.

He told me to show my hand. He gave me my mother’s wedding ring.

“Everything can change, but love doesn’t” he said to me, it was similar to my mother’s tone. I cried and hugged him.

“I love you”

“How did you get my mom’s wedding ring vinoth?”

“It was your mother who gave it to me”

“What?”

 

May 20, 2013:

“Excuse me, is anybody in there?”

Nobody responded so i thought of going in.
“Hi aunty, how are you?”

She didnt respond, she was crying seeing your childhood photos. I inquired about you she didn’t not respond.
She signed me to get a piece of paper and pen. She questioned about me in that paper.

“I am vinoth, harini’s friend” She smiled. We were talking more than one hour. She said you were upstairs and not to disturb you. After few minutes, i asked her.

“Aunty i would like to marry your daughter”

Her reaction changed but after few minutes she told me to make a call to doctor. I called him and he explained me the condition of her. My eyes started shedding tears. Your mother knows she will die in one month. You acted to make her feel normal. She acted to make you feel normal. She asked me again what do you say now.

“I cannot make her feel me like you but i can make her feel like my daughter” and hugged her.
She cried and told me to take her wedding ring and take care of you as she did.

“I love you vinoth”
“I too love you, harini”

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