THE LETTER

Nidhi waited in tense anticipation, holding the phone to her ear, wanting and not wanting it to start ringing. It was almost the butterflies- in- your- stomach kind of feeling which she used to have when she had started talking to him initially, what now seemed like an eon ago. Finally the phone began to ring. It rang, and it rang and it rang. Only then did she realise that it was a Saturday night, the day of the week when he would turn his phone to silent and turn in early.

Yes, Nidhi remembered. She remembered every little detail. So she typed him a message, telling him how she felt, in the best possible way. She had never expected this is how realisation would strike. But then, life didn’t come with a schedule decided beforehand. You had to make it yourself, so that fate could then wreak havoc, walking in and making changes as and when it felt like. She smiled to herself, as she recounted the events of the evening which had put her in the situation she found herself in at that very moment.

“Nidhi, I’d like the complete report of the Silverwoods project on Monday.”, those had been her boss’s instructions when she had summoned Nidhi to her chamber.

“Ok ma’m”said Nidhi, groaning inside. It would be a long evening. She certainly wasn’t going to ruin her Sunday for any project.

“Hey Samarth, get the Silverwoods file. Boss wants the report Monday.”

Samarth Mehra, about the same age as Nidhi had joined around three months ago and was in the same team as Nidhi. And they had spent almost every moment together working on the project, along with the project, they had also, brick by brick, built a beautiful friendship. Now they were like school buddies, living in the moment, pulling each other’s legs and hanging out now and then to catch the latest movie.

“Damn! That file is at my home. I didn’t bring it. That report wasn’t due until Wednesday. So what’s this now?”

“Oh you can ask that to the boss. If you dare to. “, said Nidhi with a smirk.

“Oh alright madam!! No way out I guess, then. We could go to my home and finish the work and then I’ll drop you home. I don’t want to ruin my Sunday, not this one man, got a bike trip planned with my friends.”

“Neither do I, my trip to dreamland is way more important than any bike trip. Let’s do that then, just get this Silverwoods out of the way.”

And so half an hour later, Nidhi and Samarth were sitting cross-legged on the floor of the living room in Samarth’s apartment, with their laptops on, a number of files open all around them and Nidhi’s laptop already whining about a low battery. Several figures and typed pages later, Samarth had had enough. “That’s it! I am bored and tired and I will not work anymore unless I have some coffee.”

And with that he went into the kitchen. Nidhi was only too happy to welcome the break. She stretched out her legs and started looking around the room. She noticed that the flat was quite well maintained. And then she noticed the book on the side table. Lover of books that she was, she picked it up and started leafing through. As she turned the pages, a folded sheet of paper fell out. On it was written, ‘To Renu’. Oh no! It was probably a letter. She never should have picked up the book, she thought and cursed herself. But curiosity is a strange and sometimes, ill-mannered thing, you know. Maybe it wouldn’t be a letter. She ultimately lost the silent battle that raged inside and unfolded the sheet of paper.
And she started reading.

Dear Renu,
As always I am hoping my letter will find you happy. And like always I will say that I miss you a lot. Since you haven’t replied to me yet, I take it you’re still upset. But I did say sorry so many times, didn’t I? Well, we just completed this big project at work recently and the results were really good. Translated that means I might be in for a promotion. I would have loved to celebrate the moment with you, you know. But I’m not one to accept defeat either. Will make up for every single moment we lost out on once we’re together again.

Yesterday I had been looking for the car insurance papers and I was thinking, had you been with me, I would never have had to look for them, for you would have handed them to me right away. And as I was searching, I found our wedding album. Spent nearly an hour looking at it.How beautiful you looked that day! You always do look beautiful, but seeing you that day made me realise why beauty is always compared with that of a bride. And maybe that’s why the great poet said, a thing of beauty is joy forever. I relived the moments of our wedding in that hour.

Perhaps you’ll be happy to know that I exercise daily these days, no excuses. You’ll see I’m turning fitter every day. And I drive well within the speed limit, none of the rash teenage behaviour anymore. Sharma Uncle next door has had a granddaughter, they named her Aastha. I hope our parents will be fortunate enough to experience the same soon. And everything else is pretty much the same. The days are passing by. And once again, before I stop, I love you. And I miss you. Please come back home.
Love,
Sam.

 

Nidhi was stunned. In all the days she had known Samarth, he had never once mentioned that he was married. But again, they had never mentioned their personal lives to each other, the need had simply not arisen. And Nidhi had just assumed that he was a bachelor. She had never imagined that beneath that outgoing and fun filled exterior, was a person so deeply pained. And goodness, how he missed his wife. How desperately he had been trying for them to be together once again.

And her thoughts travelled to Avinash. She remembered the calls he had made to her when she had first left home, the calls she had stubbornly refused to take. And in that moment she realised how vainly she had been lying to herself all these months and how much she had missed her husband. She made up her mind, she was going to call him when she got home and she was going home to her family, to her husband.

“Coffee is ready!!” the sound of Samarth brought her out of her reverie and she hurriedly stuffed the letter back into the book and put it on the table.

“Thank you!” said Nidhi, as she took the mug trying to act as if everything were normal. Just like usual times they started chatting about kangaroos’ feeding habits and twinkling stars. And suddenly Nidhi said, “I’d like to give my marriage another chance.” Samarth froze, his mug in mid-air, mouth half open.

“Pardon me?”

“We were having just too many arguments until I could stand it no longer. That’s why I moved out five months ago. Nothing was going right. And it seemed, nothing would ever be right. But I probably never tried. I miss him.”Nidhi broke down.

After the awkward silence of a moment too long, Nikhil patted her shoulder and said, “Oh I’m sure he misses you too. You know life is like that sometimes, to appreciate the things important to us we must have them taken away from us. Cheer up girl, everything will work out fine.”

The heaviness in the air eventually cleared and they finished the rest of their work after which Samarth had dropped her home.

Yes, everything will work out fine, Nidhi couldn’t help but believe. She smiled as she thought, “Well, curiosity is not at all a bad thing after all!” She hoped everything would work out for Samarth as well.

Meanwhile in another part of the city, Samarth Mehra was getting ready to settle for the night, wondering if he’d be able to sleep at all. He had never known that Nidhi was married. How close he had come to confessing his feelings for her! For he had never met anyone like her. His days seemed brighter since he had met her, and silly it might sound, but the songs had actually begun to make sense. But he still couldn’t be sure if what he felt was just plain attraction or the real thing. And Samarth Mehra was a gentleman. If his friend was trying to bridge the gap between herself and her husband, he certainly didn’t want to be the one to remove the planks. Some feelings were best left unsaid, he decided.

These were the thoughts racing across his mind as he picked up the book on the table. And the folded paper fell out. Curious he bent to pick it up and noticed the name on it ‘Renu’. Another one of his flatmate Sameer’s letters to Renu. Renu was long gone, it had been a year since Sameer and Renu’s life of wedded bliss had come to an abrupt and cruel end in a car accident. Sameer had survived but probably just physically. Life had become a moribund routine for him, the only happy thing remaining being Renu’s memories. Just like every other day, Samarth prayed for Sameer to get back to a normal life as he dialled his number to know what time he’d be returning home.

–END–