I have loved her for one year and five months. She is working in the canteen as the cashier; The canteen is around hundred yards from my room. it’s just that much far from my thoughts. I sit in my room, sleep in my bed and she is always with me in my thoughts. The only thing, I have to say here is the truth that she is in my thoughts as I love her and I don’t know about her, she may be unaware of the fact that I love her as I did not say anything about my love with her. I think, she doesn’t know about my love.
She works in her counter taking cash and giving change. I eat in that canteen three times a day and sometimes it is four times also, even though I am not hungry. I sit in the canteen, mostly in a chair from where I can see her perfectly. I see her eating my food and drinking my coffee. I see her eating my meal and tasting the coconut chutney or Bharva Baingan. I can’t be sure which one I like, everything looks good while I see her there. She is feast for my eyes. I am coming to the canteen for the last one year and five months, as I know well that I have come to this room one year five months back. Her sight makes all my senses numb and I desire to see her more and more. I even do not know that anybody is observing me. My heart beats with extreme beats as if I am sure I have reached her in isolation and I am telling her my love with effective manner. But alas, I am in my place eating her and she is in her placing taking cash and returning change to the customers.
Is she my love for many more births? Why I am so getting fried in her thoughts. I am student in the city college and I see number of girls there. But a feeling like this did not come from any girl there. How it has to be explained? All these look like some past connections that make me attracted towards her.
Few days are there when she did not come to her duty. I was really very much troubled for not seeing her. I don’t know where she lives. I tried to get her address by asking the cook in that canteen. The cook looked at me with suspicious looks and asked me, “Why do ask about her?”
“I am a regular customer here and I wondered why she is not coming for four days? I just want to know if she is not ill?” I replied managing to appear very normal.
“Daisy went to Bombay on leave for her relative’s marriage. She is coming tomorrow.” The cook answered.
I know now that she is Daisy. I could not or drink well all these four days. I am so hungry that I had food full of my stomach on that day. It is a fact that I haven’t eat or slept in the last four days. That day as I ate well and I also slept sound. That day I am so happy for only one thing that Daisy is coming the next day.
The canteen opens around seven o’clock and Daisy comes to duty so early. She works till night eight o’clock and then she leaves for home.
I came to know that Daisy is staying in west queen’s road. I got the information from the same cook. He has become my friend and he is coming to my room to have few pegs of Whisky. I never misused his friendship for knowing more about Daisy and I never tried to know more about her. I did not let the cook know that I love Daisy. So whatever I asked about Daisy is thought by him as very casual things.
One day I went to see her. So I had a tea and sipping it, I am seeing her.
It is raining outside. I saw a beautiful young man came inside the canteen and speaking with Daisy. I can’t hear what they are speaking.
I went to pay the bill.
“So Daisy, I wait outside. Come quick.” He said.
I paid the bill. She came out from the counter and asked someone else to sit in the counter.
I saw that the young man is standing outside with umbrella. She went under the Umbrella to the car standing few yards there. After she sat in the car, he went the other side and sat in the driver seat. The car is started.
I feel like someone is squeezing my heart. It is burning. I stumbled and somehow stood right. I am walking in the rain. Nobody is walking like me in the rain without an umbrella. I am fully wet. I crossed the road all wet in the rain and reached the room. My heart is burning inside. It is like something being roasted in the frying pan. I want to know who he is. I want to know what she is for him. I want to know that will she be something for me.
That night, I have no sleep. The other day I was suffering with fever.
Third day George came to my room. He is the cook in the canteen.
He inquired about me and he brought me tablets and bread & milk. He sat for a while speaking something about here and there.
“You know, two days back Daisy’s brother came and she has gone to Bombay again to attend some marriage. She will come tomorrow.” George said.
“What is her brother doing?” I asked him.
“He is working in HDFC as cashier. I heard that they are seeing matches for Daisy. But Daisy does not like to marry for some more years. So she is rejecting this.”
I am feeling like my fever is gone. I am feeling like I am very hungry. I want get myself ready to see Daisy tomorrow morning.
George went to canteen again. I sat in sofa and started seeing a movie that I like very much. I have good movie DVDs with me and whenever I feel I am happy, I see DVDs eating some crispy chips.
I don’t know what she is for me. I have not talked with her about my love. I don’t like to say this to her. My love is in my heart as safe as my money in my bank account. I love to use my feelings with great care so that I should not become “Loveless” by enjoying more love.
__THE END__