Shades of Blue

I walked amidst the crowd. I had never thought that public will support and cheer me so much. I saw people taking my pictures, holding my posters and cheering loudly for me. I felt so happy that time. I murmured to myself “Yes, I did make a right choice.” The podium was set high and there were lights all over. The hall was filled with people. I walked over the podium and stood at the centre where the mic was stationed. I gave my speech and after the applause, I started the question answer session with the public. The first question that struck me, made me feel reminiscent. A lady from amidst asked me out

“Manini, what made you inspire for writing this novel?” she spoke.

I was actually lost for a moment or two, but then I revived. “Well, I haven’t ever discussed it with public yet, but now will.” I stated “But it’s a long story!” I said. The crowd shouted and demanded me to begin.

“Well, firstly I would like to thank Neeta. Where ever you are, do listen to me. Today I am everything because of you. Your story has made me what I am. So let me begin.

It was a Sunday afternoon. I was young back then and I was fed up with life. I was in Starbucks that day, alone, sitting in a corner, cursing life and the inert public towards my writings. Everything was plain until the lady with a black umbrella came into picture.

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf. She closed her eyes and contemplated. Her face was sweating, but she seemed calm. She was constantly gazing at the infinite sky, in awe. She gave vent to her feelings and continued sipping her coffee. She made me worry.

The sun was blazing high that Sunday, and the humidity had risen drastically. She instantly led her hand towards her blue scarf, but then she stopped suddenly, and closed her fist in the air and brought it back to her laps. The vibrant rays were scintillating softly over her pale face and the scarf was emblazoning slowly, from shades of blue to the shades dark, gloomy violet.

I was in black that day, sitting on the opposite table of Neeta and was constantly watching her. Neeta looked different and caught the dull spark of my eye.

I felt weird on seeing her laugh like a lunatic. Her green eyes looked enigmatic, full of terror and mystery and her actions made me inquisitive. I got up from my seat and walked towards the other corner, where she had seated herself. As I was moving towards her, I felt something dark conquering my mind, some negativity, and a fear. I had noticed her actions since long. I am good observer, and that day, the changing colors of her scarf had caught my eyes. I knew she was special, I knew she carried a spark in her, and I was very eager to unravel her soul. But then, something unusual came across me, something so unexpected but yet real, that blew my minds off.

When I reached at a distance of five feet from her, I called her.

“Excuse me miss,” I said humbly “can I join you?”

She smiled “Yes, I really needed someone, please have a seat.”

Her optimistic approach made my fear run away and I swiftly took a seat opposite to hers. For about ten minutes, I didn’t know where to start from. I was waiting long for her to start, and then she began.

“What has made you crawl up to here?” she spoke.

“Well…..” I said in a confused tone.

“Neeta, I am Neeta..” she shook hands with me.

“Hi!” I replied “I am Manini.”

“Manani, you look confused dear? What is the problem about?” she spoke to me very freely as if I knew her since long. She was still sweating, and her actions made me worry again. I decided to narrate my story.

“Well, I am so fed up with life,” I began my story “Well, this writing business of mine is so odd, it is not that I hate it, but now it has pissed me off.”

“Continue, maybe I can help you,” she spoke humbly “And then you help me…” she said sarcastically.

“Sure,” I answered naively and then continued “So Neeta, look I am like twenty five now, I have left my job and chosen writing for full time. I had a real passion for writing since I was a child……….”

I finished my story in about fifteen minutes. I was alone blabbering for long and I could see Neeta staring out of the window. I didn’t bother to question her, but she seemed lost somewhere, somewhere far away. In between, I also observed the scarf turning darker, into darker shades of blue; and yes, that did frighten me.

As I finished my words, I waved in front of her eyes “Were you even listening?” I literally shouted.

“Cool down,” she laughed “I listen through my ears. I did hear your whole story, I suggest you that you should write something that the public wants………” She advised me really well and yes, she did listen to my tragic(tragic for me) story.

“Why don’t you narrate your story now?” I asked her.

She rolled her eyes around and closed her eyes for a while. Tears rolled down. She remained still for few seconds and as she opened her eyes, the sun had hidden itself behind the dark clouds. The clouds started roaring and the humidity became more high.

“It will soon rain,” I said.

“Ya, when the right time comes,” she spoke coldly and then said “Let me begin.”

She started “When I was young, of your age or so, I also felt the same way,” she smiled. Her face always cheered me up. “Do you have a lover?” she asked out of a sudden.

“No!” I shouted and turned pink.

“Well, I have one,” she said softly “..I had one. Well I have done engineering and during my college days, I met this guy, this guy named Sharan. Sharan is…” she stopped “was a charming boy- fair, tall and affable. I felt in love with him at first sight. I never believed in love and bollywood romances, but when I met him for the first time, I realized, yes such things do exist. In the college years, we developed really good friendship….” she whispered and laughed “I never knew, that sometime in future, our relation would take such a turn.”

“Is he dead?” I spoke all of a sudden.

She didn’t reply. She sipped her coffee, stared out again. I took a glance at her scarf. It had turned violet. She retrieved “Sharan was really a sweet guy, so friendly and caring. He was the apt boyfriend. I still remember our first date. He had asked me out in front of the whole college and I was really so delighted that day. It was the perfect proposal and he was the perfect prince charming.”

“What did you say?”

“Well, I turned pink, just as you did before, and then I ran away.” She smiled again and then the clouds roared . I looked at the scarf. I observed few red spots darkening over it. She continued “It was the best date ever.”

“So you said yes?”

“Well ya, why wouldn’t I?” she said “But I regret it now….”

“Why what happened?”

“Well, that night was just amazing. Sharan had took me out for a long drive to a hill top. The weather was quite similar. Clouds were roving high and yes, my prince seemed really hot. I never thought that he would be so romantic, but….. I couldn’t guess the flaws then, or maybe I was the one who created the flaws….” she cried.
“Neeta….” I said humbly and offered her a tissue.

She wiped her tears and began “The view from the hill top was amazing. There was no one around, only the whistling nature and the both of us. The stars did witness us during the night, but till then we were all alone, maybe.”

“Maybe? Was there a third person along?” I raised my brow.

“Maybe…” she spoke dully “We had a great time together. He had packed some food with him beforehand. He had made it himself. The food was delicious and I was adulated by his acumen. He also danced well, and he danced with me that night too. I was very close to him, while we danced under the changing skies, and those moves were mesmerizing. We chatted for long, we rolled over the grass and yes we laughed a lot. Sharan was a funny guy, maybe, I regret that I still cannot differentiate between his fun and gravity. How could I be so dumb?” she banged over the table and the scarf moved a bit. I observed it becoming red. I was literally scared at that moment. Suddenly I observed a spark coming out of the scarf. I decided not to take notice of it and I condoled with Neeta.

Neeta shed a few tears and then began “Well, college years were really great for me, and yes I married Sharan. I thought I was living the perfect life, with a perfect husband and a good job. But you don’t know what might happen the next moment. Well after ten years of marriage, I never dreamt that such thing would come out. Was my relation so weak? So void, that I couldn’t see through it? Was I so gullible, so dumb or didn’t I prove to be a good partner?” She cried.

“But what happened?” I was very eager to know.

“Well, last week, when I was out,” she spoke vehemently “something happened in my house, maybe it was happening since long, but I realized it that day when I came back early from my vacations to surprise Sharan…” she laughed “but who knew that Sharan would surprise me so vulgarly by his acts…”

“Was there a third person involved?” I spoke as the picture began becoming clearer for me.

“Yes you are right,” she spoke softly.

She stopped and gazed at the dark firmaments. The roaring had increased and the clouds burst. It started raining heavily and so did she burst. Tears couldn’t stop rolling from her eyes. I felt sad for her, I couldn’t see her like that, I wanted her to laugh. Then suddenly my sight went over the scarf, most of it had turned red, but still it had some traces of blue alive. I was scared at the moment.

“So what happened next?” I uttered “What did you do with Sharan and that lady?”

“Huh!” she laughed “That lady….” she stared at me “I would have been more happy, probably less sad if it was a lady.”

“What do you mean?” I was stupefied, my imagination went crazy.

“The same that you are thinking,” she spoke “There was a man, yes a man!, in my room, half naked, lying on my bed, in my place; with my husband,” she cried and spoke with hesitation “Why? Why me?” she cried.

“Oh my!” I exclaimed “So what did you do?”

“What could I do?” she laughed and stared at the falling droplets.

Things became clear in my mind. I knew this lady was hurt emotionally, and I knew that she had committed a mistake, a huge one. I glanced at the scarf. It had turned red, dark red. It seemed so bloody, so evil. I knew what did happen, but still I waited for her, to conclude.
“So what next?” I asked.
“Why me? Why Sharan?” she was totally broken.
“I don’t think so it was his fault!” I raised my voice.
“Then was it mine?” she retorted.
“No dear,” I rubbed her palm “It is our society’s fault, it is the fault of our mentalities.”
“I know, but how could he play with me?” she wept.
“From my point of view, I think this all happened out of fear, out of confusion,” I said to her “Sharan, was never straight, he was being a different person, not himself, for so many years. And it is not your fault.”
“But he could have told me! Why did he devastated my life?” she spoke laboriously.
“Cool down,” I said maturely “I think so he had no choice. Try to understand Neeta, how could have he possibly survived? This was the only way to preserve his identity. And there are many such cases, you aren’t the first one to face it.”
“But my life is a mess!”
“I can understand, yes there was some mistake from his side too, but he was suppressed under this society, this mean outlook of people, I hope you forgive him,” I ended abruptly.
“I can’t forgive him,” she laughed again “not now….”
“This is what needs to be changed Neeta!” I growled “This attitude of yours, then only people like Sharan can live freely, free from the manacles of this society.”
“But now nothing can be done,” she smiled, wiped her tears and shook hands with me. I felt bad. When she shook hands with me, I observed blood spots over her clothes. She took her handbag and umbrella and left. She kept the bluish-red scarf there on the table. I called her back “Neeta!”
She turned and looked at me “Your scarf!” I said. She turned back and stayed quiet.
“Did you kill that guy?” “No, I discolored my connection.” She said coldly.
I held her hand “Neeta wait, don’t blame yourself!”
“I made a mistake,” she laughed and tapped her umbrella “Hope so you won’t” And she freed her hand from my grasp. Her words rung into my mind and I left her. I looked out of the window, there I saw her crossing the road. As the signal turned red, she opened her black umbrella and crossed the road. The color changed red and numerous automobiles embellished over the road. She was out of my sight, and then I sat down and vented. I saw the scarf, it was so red. I gathered all of my strength and opened it. A sharp knife flashed before me and along that I found a locket attached. The story became crystal clear. And I left the café.”
I ended my part. The audience remained silent for a while.
“It’s over!” I said and then they started applauding. I left them all in a mystery of which I am a part too. Neeta motivated me a lot, to help the people, to fight for their rights via my writings. I did take her advice and now I am what I am-preserving the my shades of blue.

–END–