Sweet Romantic Story – The Friend
Photo credit: Ladyheart from morguefile.com
I am finally going to do it. What, you ask? Something that I should have done four years ago but didn’t have the guts to do it. Only prompted by the recent events have I come to my senses.
As I take slow, quivering steps towards the end of this long, dark corridor in the Electronics and Communication department of our college, towards light at the end of this darkness and uncertainty, towards you, I can’t help but gaze at the specters of a not so long ago past.
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And there, I see the door to the classroom where I must have first laid my eyes upon you, where we spent four precious years of our life, knowing each other, admittedly I know more about you than you about me. And I must confess, at first, I didn’t feel anything at all different when I saw you. Just another pretty, smart girl roaming the streets of Indore, gearing up for a bright career. I suppose that you were present for the first day of college. Most probably.
As I said, don’t really remember. You know, that reminds me, why this college, I mean, with your brains, you should have been able to get admission at the best colleges in Indore without breaking a sweat. Well their loss, anyway. Not to say that ours is not a great one, mind you. Just that you could have done better.
———————–
Ah! I got distracted. Again. God, what’s happening to me these days? I really can’t concentrate much these days. Just another ailment I can attribute to your generosity. And my slipping exam results. Nah, that’s just me being getting more and more lazy these days. Anyways, pinpointing the exact moment that I might have started feeling something different for you is simply impossible. It wasn’t like getting wet after a few moments of heavy rainfall. It simply was more like getting wet patches after hours of soft drizzles of rain.
But I do remember the beginnings of that drizzle, the moment I noticed that you were someone different. Do you remember, that in our first semester, when all of us, all those in our class that were present (except me, I suppose), were trying to acquaint ourselves with each other by talking about ourselves, sharing stories and jokes, playing simple games like ‘Dumb Charade’, in our free lectures. And how I usually stayed away for some reason or another, maybe because I was shy and felt kind of tired.
But on that day, I felt particularly bored, so I said what the hell and joined you guys. I don’t exactly remember what the game was, just that it involved sitting close to each other in a circle and whispering something to the person on the right and then it had to be said out loud, or something like that. What I do remember clearly is the person sitting on my right – you. And how you looked that day… oh my god, that demure smile, blushing yet inviting at the same time, that husky, sexy voice, the type you hear only from the mouth of a consummate singer, that petite delicate frame, wholesome in its blossom, that cute face, those perfectly open and honest eyes, those shiny hair, those short and graceful movements, that tannish complexion, that aura of maturity, telling of a tale well beyond its years, everything about you whispered of the quiet, wonderful person that you are. And although, every time I see you, your beauty only increases, that surreal vision is etched in my memory even now.
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From that day onward, whenever I entered college, I began to look for your pretty face. Just some sort of simple curiosity, I guess. I started to try to learn a bit more about you from others as well, but I couldn’t ask too much lest I begin to show too much interest in you. I guess I am just secretive, when it comes to you anyway.
I also tried to initiate conversations with you, though we both sort of know how that went. Most of the time, I couldn’t summon enough courage to walk up to you. Even when I did, I would just talk to someone else around you, like Divya or Ankita, sometimes even Pragya or Nandini, just to feel less embarrassed. Afterwards, I would feel great joy at just having been around in your presence, try as I might to prevent it.
Desperate, I even started spending a good deal of time thinking up doubts and problems, just to ask you to solve them but as before, ended up asking them to someone else around you most of the times. Even when I did manage to talk to you, it just felt awkward, my voice would be struck in my throat, my hands shivering, my knees trembling, my eyes either downcast or staring, in short, awkward. Many of the times afterwards, I vowed never to even try again ever. But try I did. Again. And again. And again.
This went on for quite some time, until finally admitted that you were too much out of my league for us to be together. Apart from having two very different socio-cultural backgrounds, there also seemed to be this chasm of sorts between us. A chasm very hard to explain. It’s almost like we lived on two different planets, though we studied in the same classroom.
So, I put my feelings on the backburner and tried to act, react, and behave in as much a normal way as possible around you.
———————–
There were slips, of course. Do you remember at the time of that annual function when you performed a dance. Well, you may not have noticed it but I was present at some of those practice sessions discretely.
Whenever you post a new update on facebook or are even tagged in a photo, my first impulse is to click on the like button. But considering the fact that I simply am not, at all, active on facebook or any social networking platform for that matter, I know it would seem weird if I liked anything related to only you.
So I do the one rational thing in such situation and rip the power cord off the socket.
I could spend an eternity mulling over such stuff, but for the simple fact that I don’t have an eternity…
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Knowing all of this, you might be wondering, why now? Why ask you out on a date now? The reason is very simple. As you know, a few days ago, we had our farewell party and a few weeks from now, we will leave this college forever. And though all of us will promise to keep in touch, but you know me (or maybe you don’t), when I say farewell, well that’s it for me. And the thought of never seeing you again, never hearing your voice, never smelling that sweet, slight fragrance around you, that thought has finally given me the courage to bare my heart in front of you.
Would that I had done this earlier, we could have saved so much of the wasted time already, if you said yes, of course.
And well, if no, then life goes on, although I sure as hell know that without you the colors would have less vibrant, the summers more hot, the winters more harsh, the rains less welcoming, the cacophony of a crowded street louder, the bumbling of bees more bothersome, the stress of everyday life felt more keenly. In fact, my entire perception would be slanted, twisted without you in my life.
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So, what do you say? Would you like to go on a date with me? It may be just a cup of coffee in the college cafeteria or it may be intercontinental cuisine at the Radisson Hotel. I don’t care. Whatever you want. I just want to be with you…
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