The Blue Moon

The Blue Moon

The terrace was lit in moonlight. Standing on the terrace, Shweta was gazing at the moon. Eventually eight years have passed to that conversation. By now, she has become mom to a lovely son. Rakesh, her sweetheart hubby was also working in the same bank with her. And it was a time, when she was so firm never to marry and vehemently guarded her views, too! Due to some unfathomable reason, her opinion about males in general has never been honorable. She was unhappy with life without any convincing reason. His one sentence always popped up her mind that the one whose life has no insatiate wish is not worth living. A life without yearning is meaningless. And of course, he had eventually gifted her a yearning, like a burning flame. Had he not met her, she would have never changed her perspective towards life.

 

Had he not met her, she would have earned a lot of fame in her life, perhaps, but, would not have acquired such a wonderful, fulfilled life. He had asked her once, “What do you want to achieve by not getting married?”

“Name and Fame” her reply was spontaneous.

“To Hell with Name and Fame! Try at life, instead!! Often those who achieve name and fame are not able to lead a normal, happy life. Ordinary people at times manage to live a complete life. A very happy one! And my philosophy of life is – that one should try finding happiness in what lies before him.” Subin had said soberly.

 

She was amazed on learning this new meaning of life. How simple and straight is the definition of life for this man!. Unknowingly, he has gifted her those precious moments which changed the course of her life. She was drowned deep into memories…

 

Those were the days when she was fresh in her first job as a clerk at the State Bank in Delhi.

“Excuse me!”

“Yes, Please” Shweta replied without even bothering to discontinue and reached out her hand towards the window to take the cash… Today she was dealing the cash counter. By this time when it was late in the afternoon, her ears were almost accustomed of hearing the familiar phrase ‘excuse me’. Someone must be on the window to make a deposit, she sensed logically, and therefore protracted her left hand to take the cash.

“Excuse me!”

“Yes, please, give me the cash! I am listening.” She replied while tallying the last entry in the cash register.

“Well, Madam! Will you please look at me..”

“Why?”

Shweta raised her glance towards the counter with a little annoyance in her voice. There was this tall, dark and handsome young man standing with a charming smile.

“Hi!” He was all smiles.

“Hi..” trying hard to recollect her memory, Shweta uttered a bit apologetically. “I am extremely sorry, but I am not able to recapitulate where we met earlier.”

“Well, its not your fault, because we have never met earlier. In fact, I need to open an account in the bank, it’s urgent, and I need a guarantor.”

“Okay, you may kindly go to counter no.3. Opening of new accounts will be done there, not here. This is ‘Cash Counter’.”

“I have been there. They are asking for a guarantor. Can you become my guarantor, please?”

“Oh, you are amazing. I don’t even know you! How can I take your guarantee just like that? I don’t know who you are, from where you have come, why you want to open an account, etc. No..no. I am sorry, but I can not take guarantee of anyone without proper identification.”

“Well, my name is Subin. I live in Chandigarh[1]. I am here for one month as a part of I.A.S.[2] training. The trouble is that I have forgotten my I-card in the hostel, and due to some personal reasons it is very important for me to open my bank account today. If I go back to take my I-card, it would be 12 O’ clock by the time I return, and today being Saturday, public dealing of the bank will be closed. Please…..”

The argument was convincing. And the gentleman appeared to be really gracious and intelligent, albeit little concerned. Having thought for a moment, she signed his guarantee papers, with a strict advice to show his I-card on Monday.

 

As promised, he suddenly appeared on main exit gate of the building on Monday evening when she was looking for an auto-rickshaw in the vicinity.

“Hi!” He stopped his motorbike in front of her. Shweta tried to recognize him.

“You are not able to recognize me! I am Subin. Just dropped in here to show you my I-card.”

“Now! Is it time to show the I-card ?” Irritation was vivid in her voice.

“Well, I also owe you big thanks. If you don’t mind, let’s have a cup of coffee somewhere.”

“No, thanks. You have already thanked me for the favor. Moreover, I don’t let myself go anywhere without acquaintance.”

“But I am not a stranger to you anymore. After all, you are my guarantor.”

A chilly wave of anger touched Shweta’s spine..now he is perhaps trying to come closer on some or the other pretext! She coldly gazed at him but was surprised to witness a childlike smile on his face.

“I swear…you don’t seem good at all while in anger, Miss Shweta.”

“How did you manage to get my name? I didn’t tell you so.”

“Ooh la la! I am not so dumb not to even know the name of my guarantor. Come on, please, just one coffee in your company.”

She was in a fix, whether to go or refuse such courtesy.

“Please……come..”

It was hard to forbid such a genteel offer brimming with chastity. By the time she could regain her composure, she was riding pillion and the motorbike was on its way to the busy market street. The motorbike stopped by the side of a restaurant in Connaught Place.

“What would you like to take? Cold coffee or hot?”

“Cold coffee.” The laconic response was instantaneous.

“Never occurred to me that you would be fond of cold coffee.”

“Why so?” she was amused and astonished on the premonition.

“All the time you are full of fury. That is why I feel that you must be always taking hot, boiling coffee…By the way, beautiful faces don’t look nice in anger.”

She was seriously boiling inside, and cursing to herself for having agreed to the offer of coffee. ‘Who is this fellow to tender me unsolicited advice?’ But it was her own making. She was little angry with her own self for coming with a stranger. Before she burst out..

“Well Miss Shweta, it seems you are quite annoyed at me. It’s true that I am fond of being happy and smiling always. We may not be able to give anything to anyone in this fast moving life which is full of tensions, yet a couple of moments soaked with laughter are not taxing at all. Don’t you agree?”

The waiter interrupted train of monologue. “Coffee, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

No sooner did the waiter departed bowing politely, once again the conversation continued.

“I love making friends….good friends. Would you like being my friend?”

“Oh..no…no! I am basically very private person. I generally don’t like making friends and hanging out with them. In fact, I don’t know how I allowed myself today for a cup of coffee. Don’t you think this is enough?”

“ ‘No-no’, twice! Do you know the meaning of that? A no twice means – yes.” A very emphatic argument, but she could sense that he was smiling mischievously.

“How’s that?” she made no attempt to hide her displeasure.

“It is very similar to two minuses making a plus.”

“This is stupid.”

“This is algebra.”

“You are crazy!” her disciplined gestures too could not prevent appearance of inadvertent smile visiting the lips.

“See, how beautiful you look while smiling.”

Her face stiffened once again and the smile vanished. But he kept on smiling mischievously and looked into her eyes.

“How old are you, Shweta?”

“Why?” she exhaled her displeasure prominently.

“It is quite common for girls not to tell their real age. I am twenty-five.”

“And I am twenty-six.” She ground her teeth and stood to leave.

“I must make a move now.”

“Oh really! I thought you are only in early twenties.”

“That’s why you wanted to woo me.” She was about to blast with anger.

“Oh no..If you are thinking so, you are terribly wrong.” Contrary to his general disposition, he was very sober. “Come, I will drop you at your place.”

“No, thanks. I will go on my own.”

 

Today was Saturday. During lunch break, when Shweta was taking a small break from her routine, boring office desk-work, thought of Subin suddenly crossed her mind like an uninvited bird on the wall of courtyard. She was amused about this man – how peculiar and yet interesting. He was successful in bringing smile on her face, possessor of a volatile nature. Unknowingly, she was perhaps waiting for him to come, but it just did not happen. How strange are the ways of mind – she thought. When someone is before eyes one tries to ignore him, and when he is far away from the sight, waits for him eagerly. Nobody knows what the mind desires..

 

In the evening after making an exit from the bank, she wandered aimlessly on the road, but he did not come. She started getting annoyed with herself. So many people everyday come and go in the bank, why she is being so eager today? What has happened to her? Whatever one may say, one thing is sure – he is a jovial fellow and his etiquettes are cordial and affable. Truly, warmth and affection are rare commodities in today’s fast moving life-style.

 

On Monday, she was engrossed in her office work as usual…

“Hey you! The poor creature! Wanna stay back and finish off everything by tonight?.”

There was he. Shweta raised her head to find Subin towering over her desk, with the familiar, naughty smile. She looked at the wrist-watch. It washalf past five. Half of the office was empty, and the rest were preparing to call it a day and leave.

“Give me a sec, Subin. Please wait near the parking, I’ll join you there.” She could realize what she has spoken only little later, when he left like an obedient school-child. ‘Oh my God! What did I say? And why? He must be thinking that I was waiting for him.’  But now it was too late, the words were like a broken arrow….

“Let us have cold coffee.” He suggested.

She sat on the rear seat of the motorbike without uttering a single word. The motorbike proceeded now to the familiar venue.

“Would you like to tell something about you, Miss Shweta?” He asked sipping the coffee.

Due to some inscrutable reason, she felt unease today on hearing her name in a very formal tone from him.

“What a shame calling me in such a formal manner? After all, I am your guarantor? Isn’t it?”

“Oh I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just concerned lest Her Highness should feel discomposed.” Again, the same mischievous smile, but today she liked that.

Of course Shweta did not open herself and did not tell anything about her, but he went on narrating one episode after another about himself, his parents, his job and everything he liked or not.

“I am going to Mussoorie this Saturday. Till December, the part of my training will be conducted there. I will be back for a fortnight in the year-end.”

“Oh.” She felt herself little bit dismal to hear this. Sure, she did not like men. And, there are no stars in her eyes, so far as this gentleman is concerned, she reassured herself. But, his friendliness, his gaiety and his mischievous smile… seemed to be as pleasant and quenching as a tear drop on the burning Thar[3] Desert.

“What happened?” watching at her face, he asked. “We are friends. Aren’t we?”

“Friends.” Her face lit up and very uncharacteristically she gestured with her hands and fingers like she used to while in primary school with other kids her age. Stunned, he laughed, and reciprocated.

 

Subin went to Mussoorie and she got submerged once again in the fast moving life. It was again the frosty winter of December. One day he suddenly appeared….

“Hi!”

“Oh, hi! When did you come, Subin? Actually, I was waiting for you.”

“Really?” The characteristic smile was back on his lips. “I have just now disembarked from the train. Tomorrow will be a holiday. Let us go for a picnic. What do you say?’

Shweta nodded in approval. She was longing to have such a proposal, perhaps.

“Where will you meet?”

“Here. Come to the nearby bus-stop.”

“Well, give me the address of your flat, I will come there.”

“No..” she said hastily.

“Why? Are you scared?” he laughed.

Shweta gave him the address.

 

As soon as she was ready, Subin arrived.

“Hmmm, so you stay alone in this flat.” His glance has scanned every nook and corner of the flat.

“Yeah.” She said nonchalantly.

“Why didn’t you marry till now?”

“I don’t want to get married. The objective of my life is different.” Shweta replied indifferently.

“What’s that? I would like to know.”

“I want to be a social worker.”

“So….? Whether social workers don’t marry?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to get entangled in this useless argument.”

“Ok, tell me, have you ever loved someone?”

“No. I never had such a chance.” She said dryly.

“The chance did not come, or you never let any chance come to you?” He asked smiling.

“Whatever you may think.” She replied in the same tone.

“Well, if you don’t want to tell, then leave it. I loved a girl, and used to think that I loved her from the bottom of my heart.. then… I don’t know why…suddenly I felt that all my feeling for her went dry. Now I don’t even meet her.”

“That’s bizarre! What has happened without any reason?” she was astounded.

“I don’t know what has happened. I could not figure out till today what I spoke to Meenu. Meenu remained distressed for a few days, then she finally took it in her stride, soon.  I am quite surprised that I have no yen left for her in my heart. I thought if I marry her, perhaps everything will be alright. When I proposed to her then she refused flatly and said – ‘Do you want to do a favor to me? Thanks, I don’t need it. I can live my life with emotions, not without. It would be very much like skating on frozen ice, and I can not bear to lead my whole life like skating on frozen ice.’ Neither she tendered any advice, nor asked for reason, nor complained. The great girl! The one who does absorb life, different from others. Perhaps… I don’t know… I have not enough words to describe her. You too, seem to be very different..”

“Shall we move?” She asked dispassionately.

“Hey, take some shawl or woolens. It would be dusk while we return. You will feel cold on the motorbike.”

“No, I won’t feel cold.” She stood to move.

By the time sun set in the west, they went many places in the city, The Tomb of Humanyun[4], Old Fort[5], Lotus Temple[6] etc. Suddenly, Subin asked, “Have you seen the Aravalli Ranges, ever?”

“No, never.”

“Would you like to?”

“Sure.”

“But for that we have to go to Surajkund[7]… It would be late in the evening while returning back.”

“Doesn’t matter. Anyway, who is waiting for me at home?” Shweta did not want to lose this opportunity of watching mountain range with such a talkative company.

They reached Surajkund. In the still water of the pond, the reflection of full moon was looking magnificent, like a glittering silver coin. Both of them sat on the big, cold boulders nearby. All the stones were glistening as if they have recently taken a dip in the milky moonlight.

 

“Why is your name Shweta[8], it should have been Shyamali[9]. Your complexion is bluish.”

She remained silent, did not say anything.

“Ok, let me tell. Have you ever seen the moon, carefully?”

“No.” Her glance rose towards the direction of moon above “I never had time for these things.”

“Then find out some time, these things are essential for happiness in life.”

“I don’t know. Somehow, I am always short of time.” She said in a similar tone.

“Let yourself be carried away by imaginations, sometimes, you will feel good. Well, you have some time with you, right now! Watch carefully, and tell me, how is the Moon?”

“It is all round, and the black spots which are visible are craters on the surface.”

“Oh no! Who has told you to give a scientific explanation?”

“Then what?”

“Tell something like someone composes a verse; a poetic, figurative narration.”

She watched very attentively at the Moon, and exclaimed “It looks like someone has taken out compasses from the geometry-box and drawn a circle in the sky!”

“Oh great!” He laughed. “Frankly, you are such a bore. Do you know, how many poems, verses and songs were written about the Moon, and you simply describe it merely as a circle! Often people say that the silvery or milky moonlight was spread all over. But, I don’t know, why I never felt the Moon is milky or silvery. There is always a shade of blue. I don’t know if it is the shadow of rocks or due to craters which makes is that way.”

Shweta looked at the moonlight. And really! The moonlight began to appear with a touch of blue color.

“Yeah, you are right, Subin. I too feel that the moonlight has a tinge of blue color, but it could be psychological effect of what you said just now. Anyway, it is getting late, let us go back.”

Detached to what she said, Subin was gazing at the Moon without even flashing an eyelid, and then all of a sudden he took Shweta’s hand in his hands. Shweta shuddered. God knows, now this lad is up to what? It is cold winter night, and there is not a single soul around. She should not have come with him, without proper thinking. After all how much she knows him? What would she do if he starts doing something un-honorable to her? She felt miserable and helpless. Before she could snatch her hand from his clutches, he left her gently, and then peeped into her eyes….. so intensely, and so meaningfully, that she who has always thought of being stern and aggressive, felt a feminine coyness, perhaps for the first time in her life. Oblivious to her thoughts, Subin’s eyes were glued to the Moon.

“Do you know Shweta, the Moon is blue, just like you. I love the Moon, which is one of the biggest tranquilizers available, particularly in this fast moving life. It appears as if we are not alone, it always stands by as a true companion.”

 

The night has traveled well past 11’O clock when they were returning back to Delhi. On their way back on the motorbike, Shweta was thinking that how unusual is this boy. Had he wanted he could have taken advantage of the situation when they were alone. Perhaps, all men are not alike. The motorbike was running very fast on the highway. Shweta’s limbs were getting frozen in the chilly winter night. The ranges of Aravalli were getting left behind hastily. Shweta frail body frame began to tremble due to cold. Her hands were frozen, jaws began to quake, and teeth clattered.

“I warned you earlier to take some woolen clothes. Now you are quivering with cold. Fine, hold me tight, perhaps you may feel warmer.”

“No.” She replied resolutely. But she was feeling sicker and sicker due to relentless cold. All of a sudden the motorbike stopped. She got down and stood a side, but her limbs were almost turned into ice by now. She would have collapsed had he not held her. Subin not only prevented her from falling but took her into arms and hugged warmly. She was so malformed with cold that could not resist at all. He stayed filling her close to his chest for a time that seemed beyond ages. Eventually separating her body from that of his, he uttered,

“Have you read these lines of Harivansh Rai Bachchan[10],

Embodied as a gift of love

You are in my arms.

Would that these moments

Of aberration may last forever.

Looks like the poet has put all the essence of life in these two lines.” He smiled again, the same characteristic smile – pure, childlike, mysterious. “Shall we move now? Did you get relief from cold or not?”

Shweta was taken aback. So……his gesture was only to relief her from the cold. Oh my God! And she had started imagining something different… Anyway, some unknown, dormant music that was lost into martinet labyrinths of her heart had begun to play melodious notes. On the motorbike, she placed her head on his back and closed her eyes. She felt she is a woman, and feminine, too.

“Look Shweta! The Moon is traveling with us! Reciting some verses.”

Shweta did not try to open her eyes. She could see the Moon with eyes closed. She felt as if the whole Moon, with its bluish radiance has descended in her heart. She desired earnestly for this journey to be everlasting. But, journeys do have a beginning and an end, too.

 

When the motorbike stopped in front of her flat, the night was looking forward to a new dawn.

 

“Listen Shweta! You must marry. If the life is lived as is should be, then some moments are very beautiful.”

After that Shweta never saw him again. But he has given her new philosophy of happy life… and gift of a fulfilled, complete life.