“Its Not About Writing , Its About Sharing feelings…May Be Its Too Late..”
After a long tiring and rather i would say spending a hell of a holiday i have decided that i will simply write write write & write, i don’t know what but i will write…..
So here i am staring at my monitor , feeling little bit sleepy. Hmmmm so what am i doing here “How I ended up in here writing”…is it because of that girl??? hmmm i don’t know yet..
so whats there to write anyway,i just got a call last night around 2:30 am, ya ya i know its weird, in fact scary cause all that paranormal activities happened around this creepy timing.
So what happened was , that i was having a beautiful dream…i don’t remember though what was i dreaming, suddenly i woke up by the annoying vibration of my cell phone… I woke up rubbing my eyes, i took my phone and there was a call from unknown number.
Who it might be!!
I was not sure whether am gonna receive that call or not, but that number flashed again in my screen. May be its urgent i am not sure , What should i do??
I pushed that green button………yes i received that call, may be it would be a call from a girl!! I was thinking to myself :-)
I asked very firmly, Who is this?? i got no answer , i asked again Hello!! who is this??
then i heard a very slowly and soft voice saying “I missed your voice subho”
i was shocked how did she know my name? ya ya she, that was a girl.
although that voice was very familiar but i couldn’t recognize it….I swear i heard her before i know her but still couldn’t remember.
I asked her “who are you and why are you calling me so late?”
“Yes it is late, Its too late i guess subho” she replied. (Whats that supposed to mean i was thinking to myself).but i didn’t say anything i was so shocked
“Its been 14 months we haven’t spoke subho, yes it is too late”
“Who are you? i know you voice but i couldn’t recognize you so plzz tell me whats going on whats your name?” I asked very politely
“Its been too long u didn’t called me subho, i thought may be one day you would call me. Every time i think of you, i reminded myself that if you wanted to talk to me ,you would. But you didn’t , you don’t know how to share feelings you never said anything to me you left me so alone, it was i who cried all my feelings you were just standing there n left me..you never ever wanted to share your feelings you never told me that you loved me too….”
I was shattered, i was stunned i was smashed i couldn’t bear anymore but i couldn’t say anything my lips were freezed. may be that moment words were not enough…the moment she told me her name , something dropped from my eyes, (i don’t know what was it may be something got in my eyes), i kept listing ………
“You know subho the worst feeling is the feeling of moving on , not being able to love and care for that person anymore. No matter how hard you try , you cannot regain those feelings. even when you try to miss them or search for some feeling, there is nothing left. the worst feeling is when you loved someone so much and knowing you lost it….yes i loved you subho but that doesn’t matters now cause we both moved on right??? 14 months i waited 14 months i suffered 14 months i cried…
this was my last 14 minutes for you in exchange of those 14 months…goodbye forever”
I couldn’t say anything I couldn’t react i don’t know what to say she just left me alone with all those questions all those memories all that she suffered…i was numb.
I couldn’t sleep that night…I smoked my last cigarette too.
the hard part is you what guyss….while i am writing this blog , “She is getting married”…… Yes and now i will never hear from her again….Its not that goodbye that hurts,its the flashbacks that haunts u…that 14 mins i will never forget in my life may be that what she wants and that’s “How I ended up in here writing “…May be, i can share my feelings…May be..