My first date

Being careful with the old kerosene lamp in my right hand, I pushed the door open. The room which was obviously dark is now filled with the weak light streaming from the opened door. I didn’t lay an eye for no cobwebs. I trundled my bag inside. The room smelt faintly of dust and grime. I didn’t like that.

But I was in no mood for cleaning because I have something more demanding and a superlative task to do. I located the small table at the corner of the room, pulled it near to the center and placed the lamp on it. I used the lighter from my pocket to light the wick. The flame made the room more evident and the flout of the lamp is as beautiful as it was when I have first seen it in my grandmother’s hands.

“This is not a kerosene lamp to light any room you want. Use it only when you want to call them” was her warning to me.

The antique lotus shaped leaves that stem from its bottom are as curled, thick and shining as ever.  Musing my chances today, I didn’t realize how murky the room was. My bag swept the dirt on the floor all the way it travelled into the room. Yet I secluded from cleaning any part of it. I closed the door, opened the bag and let all the paraphernalia take its place.

As quickly as I could and as orderly as I should, I drew the ritual circle, grabbed the candles to place them in their positions, sprinkled the salt at favorable angles, and with every other detail cleared I opened the wrinkled parchment and let it sleep inside the circle. I removed my jacket and threw it in a corner. I lightened the candles with the lamp’s flame. This was a casual job for me, but today is eerie may be because of the person I am going to call.

I sat on the floor cross-legged. The candles are glimmering wistfully with a gentle warmth from the surface. With the sweat beading my forehead and the lamp watching me consistently, I closed my eyes and remembered him.

***

I read and reread the store name painted above in front of me. Karan’s Leather. There were different leather hand bags scrupulously arranged behind the glass. I had been standing there since fifteen minutes and it looked like I was waiting there since forever. I started to hear my heart beating.  I wiped my forehead, tucked the straight hair bang inside my ear, folded my hands afresh and peeped through the bushy croton that hid me. I am not usually conscious about my outfit but I was not relaxed about it either. I wanted to look good, yes, I wanted to impress him. I thought I will brush my eye shadow again but refrained.

It’s ok, I encouraged myself.

It has been seven years since I saw him back in my neighborhood. He must have changed by now. Portraying a phlegmatic disposition, I was jumping with curiosity inside to see this man.

How phones connect people and formulate relationships. It’s amazing how everything from talking to proposing to kissing happens over small packets of data. I think they transmit the energies of love and affection along with the mere voice data. Because occasionally I heard his heavy breathing over phone and I thought he was kissing me silently. I felt more for it. But many times I heard whooshing and whizzing sounds which I never deciphered.

Finally, there he was. He sought me behind me croton. I smiled subtly. I wanted to make sure it was him before I go straight and tell how much I fell for him. He smiled back. But he seemed very disturbed.

“Aisha, Hi.” He didn’t ask if it was me.

Obviously he possessed an idyllic memory that I lack. I never recognize people using their photos.

“Kamal?” I asked, pointing my finger at him , raising my eyebrows in very odd way.

“That’s right, that’s right”. His smile faded but came back along. Phew!

“Come. Let’s…” He showed me way in into the restaurant. It was a nice place where I always felt cozy.

“Two” I hinted to the steward.

I didn’t take the smile off my face till we sat opposite to each other.

“So How was the flight?” I broke the ice.

“It was fine. However, the most happening flight was my first one.”

“What about it?”.

“You’ll soon know”, he winked at me smiling.

I won’t push anything.  It was his turn. “I miss this place. How I wish I stay here with all of you”. I saw the longing in his eyes.

“Sure.” I soothed him.

The silence here is horrendously gawky than when I was waiting. Sure, first dates can be awkward.

The waiter came. “Ma’am, two isn’t it?” he asked placing two glasses on the table. “Yes. Of course.” ‘What does he expect, my mom with us?’

“Something  to whet your appetite?”

“Five minutes.” I signaled with my five fingers.

“What are we taking ?” I asked.

“I am really sorry but there is this guy Ravi. I went to his home today morning. He stowed me with all the dishes his mom made. I dont have anything in particular in my mind. Why don’t you choose?”.

That’s ok. I was searching for the waiter to take my order but he was already looking at me in a cunning and weird , there-is-something-about-this-girl way. I called him. “One Chole Batura.”

“That’s it, Ma’am?”

“Yes for now”. He left.

They give a lot here. No sooner had we started talking about our childhood than the waiter came with the plates. He placed them on the table and left.

“How is your witchie practices going?” he blurted out.

“Ah.. I am doing ok. But not a lot these days”.

“You must be interested to try. After all. it’s in your blood”.

“Yes, as always.” I said , flattered.

The waiter brought Chole Batura.

“Not for me.” he said sharply.

“Oh why not?  C’mon, at least a little”. “Aisha, not now. Sorry.” he sounded sharper.

I felt bad. Doesn’t he like my dress or me or what? I was disgusted but I didn’t want to spoil anything.

The waiter was staring at me if his job was finished. I gestured him to leave. He left happily. I started eating alone. He apologized again. I told it’s alright. We finished eating. It wasn’t a great time together. The phone conversations were always better.

I ate , so I paid the bill.

“Shall we leave?” he asked.

“Yes”. I smiled.

While leaving, I observed that he didn’t even touch his glass of water. A couple of waiters, including the one who served us were staring at me.

I reached home thinking what to tell my friends about my first date. This one sucked big time. I reclined on the couch when my mobile beeped. I checked the message.

It was him. The message read :

>>You must have figured out who I am. Meet me tonight. I will tell you more about my first plane crash.

I gripped the phone tightly in my hand. I didn’t believe it. All my muscles cringed in fear. I must be jumping to conclusion if I think he’s dead.

May be that explains why the waiter ignored him, why he didn’t touch the water,  and how I made a fool of myself when I was talking to none in front of me. But no, it cannot be so easy.

***

The energy is palpable. The candles started to achieve resonance. The lamp flame moved with the candles too. I kept the heart shaped planchette on the thick parchment. An intricately convoluted ritual symbol etched on the planchette coruscated in the light. I meditated gently pressing the index fingers on the planchette waiting for it to show me directions.

The planchette finally moved to a symbol that’s translated to a “Yes”.

I couldn’t control my emotions. I asked him

“What happened to you?”

I wish all this was a dream and he spring back into my routine. In the course of my occult today, I learned that a flight crash killed them all. He didn’t tell the pain it caused them, because he didn’t want to. Slowly and steadily, I am realizing that I am going to miss him, this time forever.

He proposed his poetry to me:

 

Stolen you have, my heart every time

Over sleepless nights, fell in love I’m;

That will last long, how Cupid tie

Singing the love song , even after we die.

 

“I wrote this in the flight. It perished in the fire but I cherished it for you.” He said.

Sorrow bundled in my throat. My fingers on the planchette started shivering. I did fell for him but his love of course overshadowed mine. Tears streamed down my cheek. My heart heaved with grief. I pressed my eyes hard to clear them. I waited for him. He didn’t say anything.

The candles flickered. He’s gone.

I wept like never before.

__END__