The discovery of self is not always the best of experiences. Sometimes you may find that the very basis of your existence has no meaning at all. The truth is that you can never discover your true self completely. There is always some unfathomable truth waiting to be revealed, rediscovered, and sometimes the truth that you once believed in so strongly may lose its meaning forever, leaving you in despair.
You are a happy soul. You sing and dance and rejoice. You think you have everything in life. But the day you lose something very profound, you start doubting even the other meaningful things in life that were once equally important to you. You look around and you feel shallow. You feel shallow because you have nothing to contribute to the people around you and vice versa. There is this void inside you that makes you feel miserable. You feel the indifference. You see neither love nor hate. You don’t understand why the person next to you is smiling. You fail to remember the last time when you smiled genuinely. You fail to understand the logic behind a smile. You don’t really get hurt. But you still cry. And that void inside of you remains untouched. You run around people, You run around things that may have actually lost the meaning or purpose in your life. You still run because you hope that maybe these are the people or the things that may help you fill this void. But the truth is that they can’t. They have nothing to contribute in your life but misery. They are actually the creator of this void you have been trying to fill. But you can’t see the truth because you have been blinded by insecurities, fear, loneliness- the inner demons that you feed everyday. The void keeps growing bigger and bigger until you finally implode.
Try to identify such people and things that have created this void in you. Life has a much bigger purpose than that dream job that you are not able to get, than the person next to you playing with your self esteem, than that someone from the past that’s not letting you move on. Just take a deep breath and let go. Do something good for yourself. Do something good for others, for the people who appreciate you. Be at peace with your inner demons. Do not let them control you. Run if you must or take baby steps, but move on.
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