“What are you up to these days?” one of my friend asked me when I met her after 5 years.
“Nothing much. Just waiting for the right man to get married to.” I replied.
She was shocked by my reply and immediately asked in astonishment, “Are you sure? Do you think it’s the right decision?”
I said, “Yes, I feel it’s the right time to get married.”
“So why did you go abroad and did your masters, when all you had to do was get married?” she asked.
“Look, this is how it goes here”, I replied.
This is how our lives progress. We are brought up in a very sophisticated manner, taught in good schools, given invaluable lessons of life, allowed to go abroad and do higher studies, and finally what happens is, we are married to someone and then the rest of our life is spent in serving and adhering to in-laws and their orders away from home. We leave our home and the people that were a big part of our upbringing and move to a new house, a new neighborhood, a new society, completely devoid of any kind of support. We have to adjust and adjust and keep adjusting for the rest of our lives. We aren’t allowed to speak in between the elders nor are we allowed to argue with our in-laws. Our views are not considered when taking some important decisions. It’s like we exist but only in a materialistic way.
But people don’t see our sacrifices. We, girls, do a lot for our in-laws. We treat them as our own parents, even though we are not related to them by blood. We consider their house as ours, a home away from home. We adjust in an unknown place without speaking a word. We respect and value their traditions and culture. We care for them like our parents and siblings. We leave the comfort of our homes. We change ourselves for them. We don’t get to talk to our parents for days, but still we remain silent. We are entitled to all the rights what boys get.
But what do we get in return for all these favors or sacrifices? We still have to bring dowry after marriage. We are still not allowed to work even after having very good qualifications. We still have to follow certain dressing sense. We are still being sexually assaulted by our in-laws. We get beaten for not adhering to the orders of in-laws or if we argue with them. And all these are done in the present scenario where we boast of being very open-minded and supporting women-empowerment.
Why don’t these rules/restrictions apply for the son-in laws? Why is it that the son-in-laws don’t have to face such problems when they come to our home? Why is it that the son-in-laws can freely talk to our parents and also argue with them? Why is it that our parents have to treat their son-in-law in a special way? These are the questions that need definite answers and it’s needed soon.