The Lost One

It gets very lonely wandering all alone in this whole other dimension. Nobody to talk to and nowhere to go. It’s just me walking along these dark, empty streets. I can’t tell whether or not I’m alive. I don’t think I am. I don’t need food, water, or even sleep. I don’t know what I am. I’m just so lost.

It’s been almost 3 years since I have come to this place. I was 13 when it happened. I was on my way to school when a very tall man appeared. He told me that if I followed him I would never have to worry about going to school ever again.

Of course since I was 13 and naive I was going to accept. I followed the man into a dark alley. He took something out of his pocket and sprinkled it all over me. That’s all I remember. 3 years ago I left that world and entered this one. Doomed to be alone for the rest of my life.

I wonder if my family is doing okay. I wonder if my mother is still alive. When I left she was in the hospital, being treated for cancer. My father had worked very long hours to continue providing for my family. I wonder if it’s easier since I’m gone.

Over these past 3 years nothing has gotten easier for me. Each and everyday I fade from existence a little more. One day it will seem as if I never existed. When I first came here I could still see the human realm. I could still see my family. But now, I barely get glimpses.

Will I ever see the human realm again? Will I ever see life outside of the realm I am in now? These questions and many more run through my head everyday. There is not a single moment when I am thinking about anything else. I will find my way out of here.

Everyday it’s the same thing over and over. I walk through pitch black hoping to find something or someone, but I never do. Occasionally I will see glimpses of my past life. I’ll see memories of when I was in the human realm. Sometimes it will be a good memory but most of the time it’s memories I don’t want to remember.

Today I saw my first day of middle school. It was my first time going to a public school. All of my life I had been homeschooled. I was very scared to go to this new place. I was right to be scared.

The second I walked into the classroom all eyes were on me. The teacher told me to sit down at the only empty desk. When I did I heard someone behind me cough out the word loser. Everyone started laughing. All I could do was stare at my desk and hold back tears.

It was like that my entire first day of school. Everyone would call me names and laugh at me, not one person would stick up for me. I used to be this sweet, kindhearted girl but now I’m not. Ever since that day all I wanted to do was change. I listened to heavier music, I dressed in darker clothes, I even got into smoking.

The entire school started to fear me. Nobody would make fun of me. They wouldn’t even go near me. I was bound to be alone from that moment on. It didn’t matter that I was only 11. Nobody wanted anything to do with me. Nobody but him.

I soon met a boy that was about 15. We had a lot in common. We both liked the same bands, we both dressed the same, and we both liked to break the rules. He wasn’t exactly into me but I was way into him. He had that bad boy image that every girl loved. But of course, I couldn’t have him.

I know I shouldn’t have tried to get with him considering I was so young but I couldn’t help it. I would start to dress sluttier and sluttier, hoping to get his attention. It was easy to see him everyday considering he flunked so many times he ended up in my grade. He did notice me but it was only for short periods of time until he would return his attention to the 8th grade girls.

I wouldn’t give up easily of course. I just continued to wear small, tighter clothes and break even more rules. His attention continued to linger on me for longer periods of time. Until of course, an even sluttier girl caught his attention.

I still had a long ways to go until I would be his type. I still had to get a better looking body and become even sluttier. That wouldn’t be hard for me though. The slutty part at least. My parents would let me do anything I wanted as long as it kept me out of their hair.

Once summer hit I was able to wear even smaller clothes without freezing to death. I wore thongs, shorts that could practically be underwear and tube tops. All I had to do was find a way to see him during summer break and my goal will be reached.

I even hit puberty over the summer. My breasts grew to double d’s and my ass got slightly bigger. I had become the best looking middle schooler in town and I wasn’t complaining.

I decided to take my new body out for a spin to the park. Little did I know that the boy I’ve been chasing would be there. I decided to play hard to get that day. I ignored his staring eyes and walked straight into the woods. I pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and smoked while I walked deeper into the woods.

I could hear someone following me but I didn’t worry. I knew it was him. I could feel his eyes on my body as I walked to the darkest part of the woods. I paused my walking and tossed my cigarette to the ground, putting it out with my foot. I continued to walk until I got to a small opening where a bunch of teenagers made a sex hangout.

Nobody was there so I sat down on the mattress, ignoring the fact that I could catch something, and waited. Soon the boy I’ve had my eyes on all year walked through the opening and spotted me sitting there. He walked over to me and crawled on top of me, pushing me down onto the mattress.

The old me was still there in the back of my head, and I couldn’t get rid of her.

Those are the kind of things I remember while I’m stuck here in this realm. It pains me to watch myself do these things. I regret being like that. I regret becoming the girl in my memories. I miss being the sweet girl that my parents loved. The longer I’m here, the more I realize that.

I’m constantly wondering if there’s even a way out of here. Is there some kind of trick to get out? I know I can’t he the only one stuck in this realm. I can’t be. Can I?

I don’t understand how I was even transported here. There’s no such thing as magic. Is there? I mean, that wouldn’t make sense. Maybe the powder he sprinkled over me just knocked me out and this is all a dream. That would make more sense then magic. But it also doesn’t make sense, considering I can’t dream for 3 years.

Maybe I can dream for 3 years. Maybe I’m in a coma and everything is fine. Maybe I’m on life support and my family is worried sick. Maybe just maybe, I’m still alive and not just wandering around as a ghost.

I doubt I am a ghost. Wouldn’t I still be able to see the real world? Wouldn’t I be able to see other ghosts? None of this makes sense. Am I dead or am I alive? Is this magic or science? Am I going insane or just being logical? I don’t think I’m ever going to find the answers to these questions.

There’s to many questions that need to be answered. All of these questions have ran through my head multiple times over the years and yet I can never guess the answer. It all seems to impossible. None of this can he real. I can’t be in another realm. I have to still be in the human realm. I have to be.

I don’t like thinking about all of this but it’s hard not to. Walking around all by yourself tends to leave you vulnerable to crazy thoughts. Your thoughts can be your enemy if you think to much about something. Your mind just tends to twist things so they don’t seem real anymore. Or it twists it to make fake things seem extremely real. That’s the reason why I hate thinking to much.

I guess thinking to much can be a good thing too. Overthinking can help you figure difficult things out. Like riddles or how to work an electronic. Your imagination is a good thing too. With your imagination you can think up anything in the world. Good or bad. Imagination is my favorite thing about brains. My second favorite is logic.

There’s also bad things about overthinking. You could see the person you love talking to someone of the opposite gender and just automatically think of the worst thing possible. You could overthink a situation and think it’s all your fault it happened.

Minds can be very tricky. Minds can trick you into thinking about bad things or make you see things that aren’t there. Minds are very powerful and it’s idiotic that people would go around destroying theirs with alcohol and cigarettes. I could never do that to my brain again. Never.

Everyday passes by slowly. I can never seem to entertain myself for long. I’m always singing, dancing, talking to myself, or just staring into the darkness. I like to make up my own song lyrics. Mostly because I can’t really remember the songs I used to listen to. I’m not very good at making up lyrics but it passes the time.

I think that over the pass three years I’ve become a pretty good dancer. I think I’m pretty amazing at dancing but then again I don’t have anybody to compare my dancing to. Maybe if I get out of this place I can take up dancing classes. Maybe I can become a famous dancer, like a performer or something.

I could become a writer if I wanted to. I like making to stories in my mind. Mostly horror stories. I can get lost in my stories easily. The way I put so much detail into and think about every part thoroughly. I like having a huge imagination. It passes the time much more quickly.

I honestly don’t know what I would do if I got out of here. I’m interested in so many things it would be hard to pick just one. Heck, it would be hard to pick two. Maybe when I get out of here I just won’t do anything for money. Maybe I’ll just marry a guy that does the work and I can just sit home working on my hobbies. Or maybe I’ll get multiple jobs and live on my own. Who knows.

I guess it all depends on whether or not I even get out of here. I could die in here. What if this place causes you to have an unnatural life expectancy? What if it makes you live forever? I don’t think I could handle that. I’m barely even handling the fact that I’m alive now.

I hope I don’t have to live forever in this place. It’s so boring and dull. There’s nothing here but empty space and one lost soul. I’m all alone in this place. I’m the lost one and I wish I wasn’t. I want to be found. I don’t even care who finds me anymore. I just want to be found.

I can feel myself slipping away slowly. I can barely remember who I am or where I’m from. All I know is that I’m alone and I’m scared. This place is so dark, so mysterious. I can’t help but to shiver at the though of what could be lurking out there.

Just because I’ve never seen anyone- or anything- else that doesn’t mean I’m alone. There could be something watching me. There could be something following me around, day after day, and I don’t even realize it. I’m starting to hope that I’m alone.

Why wouldn’t I be alone? Then again, why would I? Is anybody in this world actually alone? There could be people, things even, just lurking around in the dark watching us. Have you ever had a nightmare that felt real? A nightmare that took place where you’re at that made it seem like you were awake? Maybe they never were dreams. Maybe we just didn’t want it to be real so we pretended it was a dream.

How do you know what’s real or not? How do you know if everything around you is real? You don’t. You just assume it is. You just assume that every moment you spend “awake” is real. Maybe your dreams are whats real. What if drugs are banned because they make you see the real world? What do we know for sure? All I know is that anything is possible and right now I’m sure that nightmares are real.

I don’t want to believe that nightmares are real but what choice do I have? It’s the only explanation I have as to what’s happening. Maybe I’m in a coma and this is just one giant nightmare. Maybe the more I fade from existence the closer I am to death in the real world. Maybe this is the real world. I don’t know. I’ll never know. I just have to hope for the best. Honestly, I’m running out of hope.

I feel like someone’s chasing me. I’ve been running down this dark void for a while. My breathing is rapid and my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest. I need to stop running but I can’t. I’m too scared.

This is the first time I’ve felt like I wasn’t alone. I should be overjoyed right now. Instead, I’m terrified. I just got used to being alone. Now I don’t want anything but to be alone. The thought of someone else being here is insane. That’s why I’m running.

If I wasn’t sure about someone being here before I’m absolutely positive now. I can here footsteps behind me. They’re getting closer and closer to me, I don’t think I can make it. My legs feel heavy and my lungs can’t find anymore oxygen. I need to stop running. I need to stop being scared.

“Wait!” A mans voice yelled across the void at me. I have to keep running.

“I need help! My friend is hurt!” He continued to yell while running after me. Is he just trying to get me to stop so he can hurt me or is he telling the truth?

“Please! Just stop! He can’t walk!” He started to get quieter and the footsteps stopped.

I ran until he was out of sight. That was the most I’ve ran in years. I never had a reason to run in all this time. Who was that man and why is he here? I should still be alone. Why is there suddenly another person here after all this time? Did he really have a friend?

After I caught my breath and my legs stopped tingling I slowly stood up. I quietly walked back towards where the man last was. He was gone. He must’ve gone back to his friend. That is, if he has one. It’s highly doubtful but considering I used to think I would always be alone, I’m starting to think it’s possible.

I continued to walk in the direction I just ran from. I didn’t realize I had run that far. It only took a few minutes to get away but it’s taking twice as long to get back.

“It’s going to be okay Jack. You’ll be fine. Your ankles just a little hurt. You’ll be able to walk in no time.”

I could hear the man from before talking to somebody but I still couldn’t see him.

“How do you know Ian? You’re not a doctor! It could be broken and if I don’t get medical attention I might never walk again!”

That voice was definitely different. It was a slightly higher pitch, and full of panic.

“Jack. Listen to me. Everything is going to be fine. We just have to wrap it and then you’ll be fine. Of course you’ll have to stay off of it for a while.”

His voice sounded so soothing. It’s strange how people can sound completely different depending on the situation.

I followed their voices and found them. One of them was laying down and the other was sitting up.

“I just need something to wrap it with.” The one sitting up said.

“Why don’t you use your shirt?” The one laying down said. He sounded a bit sarcastic.

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” He started to take of his shirt and wrap it around the other guys ankle.

His back was to me so he couldn’t see me. Of course, this gave me a perfect view of his back muscles. I didn’t even realize that I stopped breathing when he took his shirt off. My throat made a weird noise and I silently hoped they didn’t hear it.

“Ian? Who is that?” The guy, who I’m assuming is Jack, asked while he looked at me.

Ian turned around and looked at me. A look of relief and confusion flashed across his face.

“It’s the person I was chasing after earlier for help. I didn’t realize it was a girl though.” He replied to Jack as he slowly stood up.

He walked over to me slowly while scanning me with his eyes. I couldn’t help but to stare at the ground. I was always an awkward person and I didn’t like attention. I didn’t really even like it when I was in middle school being a whore.

“My names Ian.” The guy that was chasing me told me as he held out his hand. I just continued to stare at the ground.

“Well… That’s Jack.” He continued as he put his hand down. “We’re a bit lost and confused. Do you know where we are?”

“I have no idea where we are. I just have theories.” I replied in a hushed tone, still staring at the ground.

“What are your theories?” Jack asked, still laying on the ground.

“Well, we could be in a coma. That’s highly doubtful now considering multiple people can’t be in each other’s heads. We could be in a different realm. Just watching our past life and our families current life. Of course, the longer you’re hear the less you can remember and see. My last theory is that we are sleeping and someone is toying with our minds. They’re making it seem like we’ve been here for a certain amount of time when we haven’t. He’s making it seem like we are aging when we are still the same age as when we got here. Someone could be using us as puppets without us knowing.” I told them my theories as I stare ahead at the darkness.

“How- How long have you been here?” Ian asked me with a scared look on his face.

“I’ve been here for what seems like 3 years.” I replied as I slowly turned my attention to him.

“You’ve been here, alone, for 3 years?” Ian continued on with his questioning.

All I could do was nod. I have no idea what’s going on but it can’t be good. Whoever did this to me is starting to do this to others. He’s getting comfortable with his work and that means more people are going to suffer. I don’t want more people to suffer like me.

–END–