An Article – Live life king size happens only in India!
Photo credit: earl53 from morguefile.com
Dear bride to be,
If you are hunting for a guy settled in America thinking that may bring you a prosperous, stylish and glittery life. May I take a moment to re-evaluate your assumptions and beliefs?
I am particularly motivated to write on this topic as my today’s chatty session with my college time friend mentioned about her roommate getting hitched. I am happy to hear someone taking a step further in life. As such this girl- Tina is no more than acquaintance but I couldn’t stop thinking about her decision and choice she made. Tina belongs to a middle class family from not so metropolitan city. She completed bachelor of commerce and was lucky enough to start working in ICICI bank, Pune. She is been working since past two years, her family is proud of her and now she chose to give up career for a groom settled in America. Knowing life in America, I simply couldn’t stop thinking
“Is it worth leaving a job in India for life abroad?”
Further I ended thinking of bigger picture – Indian perceptions of staying abroad. I don’t remember reading any articles/stories/books throwing light on hard facts of staying abroad.
Well, I surely can try helping there.
There are many perceptions about living abroad or maybe we have no clear understanding of non Indian style life.
I would like to bring forward some of the hard facts and difference between life in India and life abroad. Again, I will more concentrate life in America as that is the only non Indian country I ever experienced. But I am sure experience in other countries will be more or less similar.
Live life king size happens only in India! My mom made me aware of this fact when she hears my day to day life and things I do on weekend.
Life Style-
It is only after stepping in America that I realized value of a human life.
Labor cost in America is much higher than what we have in India. May be this is driven by number of human’s existing in America Vs that in India. Per demand supply law, Things found in abundance are always cheaper and rare existing things are costlier. So in India since population is so high, we can hire servant for very nominal amount.
We are pretty used for keeping cook, driver, servants for house cleaning, utensils cleaning, washing clothes, and getting milk/groceries delivered. Unknowingly it has become an integral part of Indian lifestyle.
In America, since ratio of man to land is lower meaning cost of human life is much more than that in India. Clearly speaking, keeping servants is close to unaffordable unless you are a millionaire.
Personally I never ever cleaned house in India, Never washed cloths and Never ever ironed my cloths!!! (Yes that sucks big time). Even though I stayed in hostel and then on rent, as said earlier unknowingly keeping servant was an integral part of my life too. I often felt proud of contributing to employment opportunities.
So wake up if you are dreaming marrying a guy settled in America is bliss. There are machines available yes for everything, but you have to operate those. (For ironing… no its still conventional triangular thing with hot plate at bottom.)
Food-
Eating out is a challenge and cooking is no less than challenge too.
Most Indian’s find adjusting with food as biggest challenge of staying in US. Almost all I blame on the bland vegetarian options available outside which no Indian can get used to! Vegetarians blame it on lack of vegetarianism. Concept of vegetarian food simply mean food cooked with vegetables. So Chicken salad with leaves can also be called as vegetarian.
I am a super adaptive when it comes to food. I am vegetarian by choice. So a little cheating on vegetarianism doesn’t bother me much. Also I am a big time foodie; friends call me I am part American in terms of food, as they find me craving some of the bland and weird tasting food that is offered as vegetarian.
In terms of food, I will rather explain what my friends think about food options available in US.
America as such doesn’t have its own native cuisine except burgers. McDonald’s… adored by each every Indian has no vegetarian menu in America. If you ask for a burger with no meat all you get is a bun with slice of tomato. For non-vegetarians chicken is all you can eat, few daring Indian’s do adopt and start eating pork, beef and turkey.
Other food available includes, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Italian, few Middle East cuisines. Mexican use ground beef and lard (Animal fat) to get right taste for their food. You might be conscious enough to ask for food with no meat, but person at counter might not have enough knowledge of what goes into food. Similarly Thai/Chinese use shrimp paste and oyster sauce. Indian Non-Vegetarians are lucky but if you ask them not to use those, answer is –Some of stuff and sausage is already made using shrimp paste and oyster sauce. Italian, Middle East cuisines may offer you some option, adapting to taste is up to you. And of course there is Indian too, but most restaurants will cook Americanized Indian food, meaning either it will be bland or tasteless or sweet!
Shopping-
Dear Bride to be, while I jump to a topic most adorable to all women on earth, please grant me permission to consider you as one of us.
United States of America, is a country of rich and lazy people! There are actually very few natively produced items and cost of labor as explained earlier… effects prices of natively produced items, meaning Made is America is costlier. Most of Cloths/Shoes/Accessories/Beauty products sold here are made and imported from Asian countries. Import-export cost and tax gets added to cost of items which is practical but may leave you feeling cheated for the price you pay.
If you are living here for long term, you simply have no option than adapting American way. Earn in dollars so spend in dollars.
But if you are here for a year or two spending mostly is an outcome of a little priority calculations. Airlines have luggage limit defined, so if you own more, you may have to end up paying for extra luggage or simply leave behind stuff you once loved. If you prefer leaving things behind then you would rather prefer not buying those things at first place!
Liberty-
America is all about rules and regulation. It is advanced form of civilization where life is made easy for all by following simple rules. People are taught to live by social rules or are made to pay fines. That will help you understand about cleanliness and less mob’s, Public fighting’s.
Owning car in America is an unknown integral part of lifestyle and hence public transport is neglected area. Cities and localities have undeveloped connectivity. Driving around in own vehicle is sometimes cheaper than any other transport option.
I hope importance of being able to drive is little clear.
If you don’t drive, all you do is spend time inside house watching TV with limited Indian shows or Internet surfing or little brisk walks. And of course daily tasks are enough to keep you busy.
Career Opportunity-
I personally feel that, staying independent and owning identity should hold a special place in every girl’s life. I don’t say being house maker or mother is not an identity. It is identity in itself holding a meaning larger than life. But somewhere in daily life it always hurt to be monetary dependant. I grew up seeing my mother not being able to buy things she wanted at the time she wanted. I am sure I don’t have to explain more on how being monetary independent change our life then be it a nominal or low income job.
Career opportunity for immigrants in America is narrow path through employment rules and visa status.
First of all – If you are not a citizen or green card holder then you must have to have a bachelor degree under four year program. Degree under three year academic program is not considered as bachelor degree.
If you are marrying a citizen or green card holder, it takes certain amount of time till you get citizenship or green card through spouse. It still is closest and easiest way of opening up to life in US.
However, if your groom to be is neither a citizen nor a green card holder then, here are other working visas and conditions that come through.
1. H1B holder-Individual authorized to work under only company holding H1B visa. Allowed maximum duration to work on this Visa is 6 years. You have to initiate green card process before you are through 6 years. Getting a green card is a long process of 7 to 12 years. However spouse of H1B visa holder, is presented a H4 Visa under which you are not authorized to work even if you hold a PHD degree.
2. L1B/L1A holder-Individual authorized to work under company holding L1B visa, This type of visa is non transferrable so generally individual working on this visa enters America and leaves working for same company (unless they file H1B). However dependent is allowed to apply for Work permit, but is limited to having bachelor through 4 year degree program.
So depending upon your suitor’s visa status you can check what career opportunities might be available for you.
Knowing these facts, I myself want to run back to India. But I work here, career opportunity I get here is better than what I can get in India, which is a motivation to stick around. But I will request you to consider facts above and make a smart choice of what you want.
I wish I could make Tina read this Article!
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