While I was studying in class 7, my parents sensing that I was weak in Math’s had arranged for my math’s teacher to take tuition for me. As my math’s teacher was very busy in the evening he agreed to take tuition’s in the morning for me. School started at 9 am and tuition’s started from 7.30am, to reach on time for tuitions I had to start at 6am which was a real torture, unfortunately I did not have any choice. It was a daily routine for me to walk up to the school bus half sleeping and by default I would sleep in the school bus every day. I remember the school bus conductor complaining to my dad saying ‘she is sleeping while going to school and sleeping while coming back home, I wonder what she does in her classroom’, dad never bothered to answer him and would simply stare at me, and I would look at him in a manner stating ‘com on dad not now’.
My tuition fee was 100rs per month and that was a huge amount those days. One day moms kept 100 rs in my school diary and said give this to your sir and don’t forget to thank him, I nodded my head which signified ok I will. As usual I was walking to the school bus sleepy and tired, however the thought of 100rs in my bag made me feel somewhat powerful and various thoughts came across my mind, what would I do if I get to spend the entire 100rs?, I would buy chocolates, some ribbons, ice-creams, biscuits and yes the Chat’s oh I love the chats, aloo chat, pani puri yum. Suddenly I hear bus conductor calling my name and telling me now wake up we have reached. Slowly I got up from my seat and moved towards the door and got down.
Sir came exactly at 7.30am and called me inside the teacher’s common room, he said today we will study here as the tuition room is locked, I nodded my head and pulled a chair and sat opposite to him. I thought to myself I will not proactively give him the cash, let him ask and then I will see. Tuition got over, he did not mentioned anything about the money. Mom asked me at the dinner table did u give your tuition fees to your Sir; I looked up and said Yes with extra confidence. After the dinner I came back to my room, opened my school bag and took out my diary to check if all is well.
Days passed by neither my Sir asked about his fees neither my mom inquired about it, I patiently waited for 15 days and on the 16th day I had a gala time with my friends and the 100rs note and steadily month passed by and my Sir did not speak a word about the money. Month passed by nobody inquired about it, I always had a guilt feeling whenever I saw my Teacher, and I felt he always has a question in his mind, and slowly everything was forgotten and I moved on.
It was the 25th of Dec the time of the year when everybody was happy and merry. I was in my last year of degree and as the other children of my age I was equally a spoil brat. I enjoyed each day of my life as it was last and never ever bothered about anything in life. We partied until 2 in the morning on the Christmas Eve and were heading home when I saw a man lying in a pool of blood and from our distance looked like he was dead or least no hope of surviving, I was too scared to get down from the Car, my friend got down quickly without any second thought, saw the body and came running towards me and said Pani….. Pani ka Bottle pass kar jaldiii….
I was looking for it frantically and handed over to my friend, he went towards the body knelt down and poured in his face. He looks at me and says ‘No response, kya Kare’.
I looked at him and said Police ko bulate hai and dialed the police control room and told them that there was a body lying in the road not sure alive or dead, before police could ask any more information I hanged the phone and made my way to the car and called my friend Jaldi aa Police wale aate hi honge, he came running to the car, slammed the door and turned the engine. We cross that spot in lighting speed. After a kilometer we stopped looked at each other and I said, hope he is alive, I hope they take him to the hospital at the earliest. He looked at his watch and says 4 baj gaye , Ghar chalet hai we will talk later and he zooms off.
I went to bed at 5 and was so tired that even the incident did not keep me awake; I slept like a dead log and never woke up until 11 in the morning. As soon as I got up I asked my mom Maa where is today Newspaper, she was like wahi padi hogi dekh le.
I took the paper and scanned it thoroughly, however no mentioned of last night incident. I rushed towards the phone stand picked up the receiver and called my Friend. His Mom picked up the call, I was like he is forever sleeping for sure, and then asked Aunty Arjun hai keya ghar pe, she replied Oh Anu pata, nahi Beta who to subha subha uthke pata nahin kaha gaye.
I was like confused where has this soul gone. Quickly ran upstairs took a shower quickly sliped into a T shirt and a pair of jeans and ran downstairs, As I was running out Mom called me and said ruk ja where are you going? Aur yeh keya yeh chappal pehen ki jayegi, I looked down and saw I was running in my house chappal, I ran back and wore a kholapuri chappal looked at my mom and said Maaa I am going to look for Arjun don’t know where the hell has he gone.
After a few distances I got into an auto and said central library sir jaldi, I knew that was Arjun’s hide out whenever he was confused, upset or happy and when you could not locate him anywhere he would definitely be in there. I got down from an auto handed the driver 20 rs and rushed towards the main corridor looked around but could not see him, I came down running to check his favorite section, could not see him, when I was just about to come out of the main door I hear a voice calling me Anu, I turned back, what a relive to see you donkey kaha mar gay tha subha se. He looked at me with a moist eyes and says wo mar gaya,
kaun I asked,
wahi last night ,
how do you know,
I went to the hospital in the morning and the nurse in the emergency told me woh to laate hi mar gaya tha police walone dair kar di lane mein.
I hold his hands and looked at his eyes and said it was beyond our control, we dint do anything we just happen to pass by, why are you so worried about it, I know it’s disturbing but tu keyu guity feel kar raha hai.
Arjun looked down and said pata hai who was he, he was sir Sanjay, it took a while for me to recollect who sir Sanjay was, then suddenly I realized oh sh*t he was my Math’s teacher in school and that I has never seen him after I left school. I turned towards Arjun and asked how you knew that. This morning when I went to check in the hospital I was shocked to see his family near the Mortuary I went running towards them and asked his Sister Priya di what are you doing here, what happen, she saw me and busted in tears not able to tell me what was happening, I turned around to see his old father standing there helplessly, I did not have guts to go and check with him rather asked the same nurse whom I spoke earlier, she looked at me and said they belong to the man who was found dead on the road last night.
I was frozen for a moment, could not believe what I was seeing. For a moment the incident of my tuition fees episode just stood in front of me, I felt I was on a complete flashback. I felt he was just staring at me and telling I know everything Anu. By now I was completely surrounded by my guilt of cheating him.
Arjun looked at me and said if only we stooped and took him to the hospital, maybe he could have survived. This question and guilt is going to be with us forever I was sure of it. We walked up to the nearby chai wala and had a nice cup of tea and thought crosses my mind “IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES, Life never gives you a second chance, hence never delay to say SORRY if you are wrong….., or never hesitate to say How much you care…………, because you never know if Tomorrow never comes”
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Bindiya Gogoi.