My Demon within
Photo credit: anitapeppers from morguefile.com
I cant help but hate every bit of myself, from my demotivated state of mind to my awkward nature. People would say its my choice to be what I am, but I beg to differ. This is what my future holds ever since I was born, a rejected person in society for being what I am. I am very different from you, you are able to accept the long stretch of countless hours of hard work, I however would lose patience in the stretch and not because its too hard but too dull. You are able to interact with others socially, expressing you emotions to your sleeve whilst I keep emotions and thoughts far away from ears who simply don’t deserve my ideals, perceiving me into a quiet person who doesn’t think too much. This is what I am, and the inner demon within me will always keep it like that.
There isn’t too much to be said about my life except that I have underachieved a great deal to what my potential has said. For an IQ of 140, a diploma pass in matric with English being the best subject of 70 isn’t really reflecting all that I can do, but it reflects to the world quite obviously that I am below the norm. And the norm is below me, but how can I say that? Because the demon within me wont allow the norm to accept what I am for he controls everything, from my habits to my thoughts, from my emotions to my beliefs. This demon will do whatever it takes to bring me down to my sad reality of depression and boredom.
The clasps of this demon has altered my vision of my life, but who am I to say that? Its always been here, in my mind growing until the day when I’ll have to make the ultimate choice in my life. And it will intervene, just like it has done in any chance for me to achieve something. So yes I hate myself for having this demon within me, If only the world could understand how I feel, for I feel so alone in this World with only this demon to be by my unwanted side.
The Demon of depression can manifest itself until the day you die.
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