A Short Story about Life – GOD! PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY PAIN!
It was around 4 in the morning. There was a gentle knock on the door and the duty nurse tiptoed in to my room to prepare me for the arthroscopic surgery scheduled at around 8 am.
Life was very active in Bangalore until I was transferred to Kolkata in July 2008. I hurt my right knee very badly while pushing the 1.5 Air conditioner from one room to the other at my residence. After visiting various doctors in Kolkata and again in Hyderabad and not getting any relief from the extricating knee pain, I finally chose to go back to Bangalore for treatment.
The entire stay in the hospital was a nightmare. Series of investigations, tests, medicines, injections, drips drained me out physically and emotionally. I was silently searching for answers often questioning God for my helpless condition.
The doctors in Bangalore diagnosed my problem as septic arthritis and suggested arthroscope of the knee. The surgeon treating me explained that the procedure involved paralysing the lower half of my body with a certain medicine injected into the spine just prior to commencement of operation. I will have no sensation for a couple of hours during and after the surgery. Things would be normal after few hours.
I anxiously inquired whether there was a possibility of any mishap. The doctor was quite honest. He admitted that the chances of a freak mishap cannot be ruled out.
The surgery was successfully completed and I was shifted back to my ward. Then after some time when I came back to senses I realized that there is no sensation from down waist. It was almost an hour after completion of the surgery. I began to panic. I was not able to move my limbs. There was nothing I could feel beyond my waist. I was aghast but I could do nothing.
Tears swelled, and for the first time in my in my life, I actually experienced what paraplegia is, and how people afflicted with this dreadful disease lead a crippled life and completely dependent on others even for the slightest movement. I silently paid rich tributes to all the paraplegics for their great fighting spirit. I recalled Mr. Stephen Hawkins who defied the disease and went on to be a well known physicist.
It was almost two hours by then, I prayed God to return the pain to me in exchange of this motionless state. After an agonizing wait I suddenly realized that I was able to slightly move my legs. Slowly the sensation was coming back. The pain in the operated knee was felt sharply. My joy knew no bounds. I was able to move my legs and waist normally after few hours and I walked a few steps holding my son’s hand to make sure that I could walk.
I thanked God profusely and realized that pain does not always hurt but a motionless state surely does.
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by: V. Subramanian