Story of an Ambitious Girl – Reflections
Photo credit: fedegrafo from morguefile.com
Chaya threw a last glance at the mirror, it was an impressive reflection. Thick, hair bouncing just below her shoulder, creamy pink, pristine skin, the curve of the kajal accentuating her eyes, the nude lip gloss on her shimmering lips. This is what one would call a perfect face, she thought, looking at her self. The emerald green skirt which gently shaped her curves teamed with the white satin shirt was the perfect wear for the scorching heat outside! She let the shirt be loose around her waist, perfect way to hide all that unwanted fat. Then, she smiled, just for effect, to see how she looked smiling…beautiful was one word for it, she thought.
With a swirl, she picked up her bag, shut the door to her room and walked out swaying her hips, in a manner, which drove most men crazy. And for a good reason, she was 33, single, newly divorced which definitely brought her back to the marriage market. The fact that she worked in the country’s biggest consulting firm only made her a more attractive catch!
Chaya was born to win, she never knew what it was like to lose. The only child of a middle class family, her parents stretched both ends to make sure she got the best. The best clothes, toys, cars, men everything had been hers. She made up for the lack of her educational qualifications with her father’s contact. But sustaining at the consulting firm was starting to be a problem. The place was littered with degrees from India’s best colleges, Ivy league names and the country’s best talent. She was hard-working, calculative and knew exactly how to get her work done, but she did not have a brand name for a degree. Her manipulation combined with strong networking skills, kept her on top of everything. But inspite of doing very well for herself, the lack of a degree really perturbed her.
The initial days had been a constant battle. She could feel the discerning looks of her co-workers and she knew only one way to override that – by manipulating and creating a story which did not exist. Chaya, had mastered this art. In college, she had constantly lied, her fictitious world consisted of her father’s economic prowess, her ultra-rich lifestyle, the trips abroad, the aunt who lived in Manhattan in her penthouse, the stories were endless. People around had lapped it up. She never took them home, but working in the nights, had given her enough money to keep a facade of the lifestyle she bragged out. Her grades had been effected, but her father made sure she got a foot into the door of the country’s best consulting firm!
Her co-workers at RV Consulting were not impressed with her tales of her nouveau riche lifestyle. They wanted to see degrees, that’s what made sense to them. So, she spun a tale about her post-graduate degree from Harvard, her dad with political contacts, the sprawling house in Lutyen’s Delhi. The tales started as whispers over the water coolers. A hint here, a mention there and in a couple of years, they believed what she fed them. Her charm made sure she had all the big bosses in her pockets. She would smile, flutter her eyelashes, softly bend forward listening to them carefully, behaving like she took in each and every little word. But in reality, she was there only in person, her mind was focused on that role in New York, the city of her dreams. Everything that she did at RV’s was just to get to the city of her dreams. In the process, she would trample everything that came in her way…even her husband. Unambitious, small town boy, Rajesh had not been able to keep up with her drive. And she was not going to sit and work on a marriage, she’d rather give that time to her job, which would atleast give her yields. It was good when it ended. It felt right and that’s what mattered!
That morning, Chaya was particularly upset, her colleague Raghav had been promoted and was being sent in an important role to the London office. She had wanted that role and her boss had superseded her, London was one step towards New York and it had been taken away from her. Kunal, her boss, had suddenly changed his hide. She did every little thing for him. Getting his coffee, to filing his work and time sheets, making his presentations, managing his travel, everything darned thing. He had been eating out of her hands, or so she thought. As she walked into office, her face beautifully made-up face concealed the storm in her mind. But like always Chaya had a plan in mind. Her plan B – her divorce had taught her one thing, always have backup plans. She was going to ask for a functional change and move over to Krishna’s team. Krishna really liked her, he was like a father-figure , her first boss in her 10-year stint at RV Consulting and her mentor. She had a meeting with him today, he would definitely pull her out of this. And elevate her to the post she wanted.
As Chaya waited outside Krishna’s room her eyes kept wandering to the corner office with the glass window, with the steel and glass silhouette of Gurgaon in its shadow. The room that she yearned for. And it would be hers, by hook or by crook. Krishna’s assistant walked out to call her in. Chaya pulled herself out of her sad reverie and flashed her best smile. Krishna looked up as she walked and and smiled. They chatted for a while about mundane things before Chaya broached the topic. She wanted the head of marketing role, and rattled off her eloquently planned pitch – her post-graduation in marketing, prior experience and the ability to do diverse functions and manage multiple stakeholders. She knew her stuff, the Industry research role wasn’t doing her justice she told Krishna. She had the potential to rise above all that she was doing to really prove her mettle and only he could help her achieve it.
Krishna nodded, he liked her spirit and attitude but would check with HR and close the loop. If all went well, she could begin by next month. When Chaya walked out, she had a spring to her gait. Her eyes wouldn’t stop twinkling!!! She peeped into what would be her future cabin, she looked out of the glass windows, the traffic buzzing by, people looking like miniatures, the flyover and it’s snake like curves and cars looking like toys on it and here she was on the top of it all, on the 19th floor corner office.
In around 15 days time, Chaya moved to her new role and the much coveted corner office. Tonight, was a big night, a new India head was joining and there was a party. She had tried to get the name of the new guy, but hadn’t been able to work around it. Anyhow, she thought, how did it matter, she was in the big league now and she wanted to dress carefully. She carefully chose a light tussar saree in shades of aquamarine blue and deep bronze, the colour lit her face. She styled her slender neck with a subtle strand of emerald beads which she had picked up from one of her business trips to Colombo. Dull gold sandals, embroidered with sequins and her favorite Gucci clutch purse and she was raring to go.
As Chaya walked in through the doors, she felt like on top of the world, she pulled herself to her full height, and swayed into the brightly lit ballroom of the dazzling five-star hotel. As she walked up to Krishna she saw him – the man she dreaded the most. The man who knew all about her and her web of lies. Looking as handsome as ever, clean shaven with a slight green tinge to his cheek, in a crisp white shirt, black jacket and not a hair out of place stood her nemesis… Jaydev Rao, her senior from college. The man she hated the most. They had dated once, he had been madly and passionately in love with her, till he walked into her web one night. That, had thankfully been his last year in college and he went away without a word, just disillusioned. But he was back now and he knew all her lies starting from her falsely claimed degrees to the false life of affluence which she had created around herself. Her life would crumble like a weak wall hit by tsunami if he opened his mouth.
It was an uncomfortable night, not because of the balming heat of Delhi but because she could feel his eyes following her. She could not avoid him for long and she knew it. As she stood talking to the fat bellowing Das, her mind was trying to figure a way to escape the situation. A cold hand tapped her shoulder, she whirled around to face him and Krishna. The introduction wasn’t half as bad as she expected it to be. Except the mention that they studied together, Jay made no other references, no caustic remarks no snides. But his light brown eyes had flickered like ambers, he gazed at her too intently, making her so nervous that she almost stumbled on her carefully draped saree. She knew he was just playing it cool right now, he would strike and take his revenge when the time was right.
Later that night as she drove back home she rolled the windows of her car down. The AC was suffocating her, the hot balmy wind of the May evening seemed more soothing. Her mind has stopped functioning, she didn’t know what was going to come her way. However cool that introduction might have been, the days ahead were not going to easy, she was sure of that.She didn’t sleep that night. The wind howled outside like a trapped animal, typical of a dust storm in Gurgaon. And on the damned 20th floor the noise was magnified. Inside her house, in her room, her mind was crafting stories about what could happen if her lies were caught.
A week passed by and she heard nothing from Jay and then a month, by the end of the first quarter of Jay being in office he hadn’t bothered to either talk to her or even find out information about her. She had a strong network in the organization and if he had made queries about her, asked for her, tried to find information about her even from the HR she would have known. Nothing remained hidden from her and she made full use of this network. Though she relaxed a bit, she just couldn’t let her guard down completely. And just when she thought that life was settling the news came in form of the words they all hated – restructuring!
It was a dark, stormy September morning as it had been raining for 3 days in a row. The roads had completely given in and the traffic had been a killer. They had all been whispering about the restructuring news but she had never thought that her name would be on that list. With Krishna’s hand on her head she was sure she was insulated. But seemed like not. The mail in her inbox, clearly stated otherwise. She stormed into Krishna’s office, her hair bouncing like that of a wild horse’s mane. It grown in the last few months and reached her back. Her usually immaculate saree was a crushed and crumpled. She did not feel like herself, especially as she landed straight into a puddle of monsoon water when she was walking into the building. The wet feet were really making her go mad.
As she went on and on talking to Krishna about her tenure, her contribution, her track record, he stared quietly at her. There was something different about him today. She didn’t know what. But he was unusually quiet. She stopped pacing the room and bend across the desk and asked him, “what’s it Krishna. What is it that you are not telling me?”
Krishna looked her straight into the eye and handed over the letter which was what the email conveyed. She had two options to take the handsome severance package, which entailed of 6 months basic salary, all her benefits could be encashed and they would also help her find a new job in the market. Or she takes a salary cut and take a smaller role. She couldn’t believe they were doing this to her after 10 years. What would she tell people? Her friends? Her golf buddies? Her neighbours? Her carefully crafted image of a successful working woman would be dented forever.
She shrieked, why Krishna? What did I do wrong? it’s that new man right? He doesn’t want me? He has told you everything about me, hasn’t he? He is lying, I have been here longer and it is me you should believe, she rattled.
Krishna raised his hands, perplexed and asked her, which new man?
Jay, she screamed?
He looked confused. Appealed her to be calm and said Jay had no role to play in this whatsoever. This was a global move and there are tons of employees affected. She had great options to exercise which she should. Chaya looked at him disbelievingly, they really wanted her to believe this. And Krishna, her confidante! He was acting so well. That scumbag Jay had told them everything. She sat down and was trembling now. Krishna was starting to get a little worried, she had a maniacal glaze to her eyes. He didn’t like it. In a normal situation, he would have asked security to escort her, but he owed it to her, to treat her with a little more courtesy. Her hair was disheveled and her saree was starting to look like a piece of rag. He offered her some water, she refused and walked out.
She was dazed. Her mind had blanked out. Jumbled memories of the past and future were rambling through it, she could hear her heart beating at her throat. Her head felt like it was going to explode and her mouth felt dry and tasteless. A chill had enveloped her, the back of her neck felt hot and cold at the same time, she was on the verge of nausea. This situation was making her feel helpless and angry at the same time. She had a cards party planned this weekend. What would she tell all her guests? That she had been fired from her job? She the invincible Chaya. And that new guy, the doctor she had just started dating? What would she tell him?
She could well decide, not to tell anyone, anything. But this wasn’t something one could hide forever? One day she would have to tell the truth. This truth would destroy her life and her job prospects. Muddled in her thoughts, on her way to her cabin, she passed Jay’s cabin. As she passed by, she saw him sitting there, smiling like a buddha having wrecked her life. His smile was clearly mocking her and before she could even realise what she was doing, she barged into his cabin. He looked up, his hair a bit ruffled, the tie knot a little loose, the pale blue shirt still looked fresh. He smiled and then he frowned, what’s it? what’s the matter? you look very disturbed, she heard him asking.
Her hand felt the cold metal and before he could ask her anything, Chaya pressed the metal and shot him. It was a country made pistol she had picked up on her way to work. She shot him thrice from a close range and by the time security and her colleagues reached, he had died and was lying in a pool of blood. They found her standing with the gun in her hand and murmuring to herself, now he can’t take it away from me…this beautiful life which I have created for myself, my lies, my dishonesty, nothing, He’s gone! Now no one will ever know the truth. She was taken away, muttering like a mad woman.
During her trial and eventual indictment Chaya was told that Jay had told no one of her past. The restructuring was a normal process not something Jay had created to pin her down. Her face blanched when she heard the lawyer give details of Jay’s innocence. She had killed him without a cause. As she walked back to her prison cell that night, she passed a muddy pond in the prison compound. She stood there, staring at pond, trying to find her life in it. The night was till and all she could see in there was her own reflection….dark and muddy it smelled of deceit. As she sat there, she felt isolated from the people and activity around her. Everything was a blur. The grass stubble around the pond, the dirty water drinking areas with their brown and yellow paint peeling off, the green fungus on the taps, the chatter of the women around her, the night watchman’s chair with a radio blaring…all seemed from another world…all that remained of her was her dark, muddy reflection….They found her dead the next morning…she had used her hair to create the noose…
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