“Why don’t you die? It would be good for all of us.” my mother’s bloodshot eyes stared at me
“What did we do wrong? We gave you best education, never differentiated between you and your brother. We gave you freedom and what did you give to us? This?”
I am not crying or sobbing or anything. I am standing and staring at her then at my father then at my brother, trying to find an ounce of support from either of them. A tear trickled down from my eyes not because I was sad. Hell No.
Why would I be sad? I did what I wanted to do till today or rather what my parents made me understand is good for me. I don’t have regrets. I was never a mischievous, outgoing or a forward person. I understood when my parents started to talk to me about my marriage.
Yes, they did ask me if I love someone. The smile I saw on father’s face when I told him that I never loved anyone was like a slap to my inner self. My parents will find a guy from respectable and acceptable family, I would talk to him then only will give my consent.
The only mistake I did that I believed them. They never needed my consent. That tear came out of pure anguish. What I did was so simple that I didn’t understand what really went wrong.
To observe that guy’s reaction I told him about my ex-boyfriends and on him asking me whether I have been kissed I said yes. Many of us will think I was telling the truth. No, I wasn’t. I never had a boyfriend not because I was from a conservative family but because I never found the one so I made up this just to observe his reaction.
God, I was wrong.
Who am I to kiss anyone? How can I kiss and tell? How can I lie about kissing someone?
Within 5 minutes, my parents got a call from his parents stating how characterless I am and they will tell everyone in our social group what I did.
For a moment, I smiled about their backward thinking then saw those eyes of my mother at me.
“oh, I am a fool” I said that aloud and moved outside that room.
They are still shouting but its faint now.
It makes me ponder do I really have a choice to select a groom or is this a façade woven around me?
-A Bride to be…