BE THE HEROINE OF YOUR LIFE NOT THE VICTIM
Photo credit: xenia from morguefile.com
“Now I would like to call Ms. Priya Arora to please come on the stage and receive the award from Honorable Governor of Bihar Mr. Jaishankar Reddy” announced the anchor. It was an unbelievable moment for Priya. As she stood up from her place , echoes of claps filled the hall. She went on the stage and received the award. The Governor greeted her with a smile and patted on her head. She felt blessed. As she received the award, everyone present in the hall showed their appreciation by standing and clapping for full 3 minutes.
She still had some apprehensions about it, “Is it a dream?” she thought. But it wasn’t. She was being given the most prestigious award of Bihar , “BIHAR RATNA” and everyone present there knew she deserved it. She could see her mother and father proudly standing among the crowd and clapping for her with tears in their eyes. She knew she had made them proud and it gave her satisfaction.
The anchor spoke”Mam,Our Honorable Governor wants you to share your story with us, it will be an immense pleasure for us to hear it in your own words” and thus speaking she handed over the mike to Priya. She became nervous as she took the mike and the anchor gave her a soothing look. She had been asked to share her story, and she could see the expecting faces of the audience waiting for her to start.
She spoke”Good evening, Honourable Governor of Bihar Mr. Jaishankar Reddy , respected delegates present on the stage and all others who have come today in this presentation ceremony. Such a huge turn up today makes me feel proud and feel that I have some importance in your lives that you come here taking time from your busy schedule to encourage me. Thanks a lot. But there’s something I want to share with all of you and I think there’s no other platform better than this to tell things I have always wanted to share. I have been told to share my story. Yes I have a story, a story the beginning of which is similar to many other young girls of my state and my nation. I feel every girl has a story to tell,few things to share with the society which it should know”.
She gasped her breath and begun” I belong to a middle class family of Patna. My parents brought me up with utmost care and love. But there’s an incident which overshadows my sweet childhood memories. When I was in class 3 one of my cousin elder brother used to come home to teach me. He was superb in studies as my father believed and so I was strictly told to follow his instructions. He was good at English and taught me a lot. Then one day ,I had not completed my homework, he got angry and drew me closer to him and said you ought to be punished. Suddenly he slid his hands under my frock and started to touch my breast and pressed it hard. I was very young then and my breast hadn’t developed fully, so I could feel the pain. Meanwhile my mother was busy in the kitchen cooking for him unaware of what he was doing to her little daughter. It was just the beginning. Every time I did some mistake he would repeat the ordeal and I unaware of what was happening with me .I bear it all through without complaining to my parents. I thought it was a punishment for my negligence to studies, but was it? No it wasn’t. The ordeal went on for a few days and then it stopped, either he was feeling guilty or frightened but he never did that to me again. I too completely forgot about it unless I read a similar incident in the newspaper,when I reached class 9th.
I begun to have sleepless night and it would burn my soul when I remembered his hands up there. I would feel like somehow I could get his hands removed and help that child, but i couldn’t. I even discussed it with some of my friends and was astonished to know that even they had faced this at some point of time in their life. I felt agitated and questioned myself ,Why??
Why is it that people don’t have respect for the integrity of females, even brothers lose their brotherly feeling and tend to indulge themselves in such act with their own little sister whom they had to protect. That day I decided that something needed to be done about this. But what, that I didn’t knew”
“That day when I was returning from my school, I saw a group of goons misbehaving with a girl taking advantage of the situation that there was no one else on the quite road. On seeing this ,my anger knew no bounds. I picked up a bamboo stick and struck one of them in the head. He felt helpless on the ground. Others ran away just at the sight of this. The girl sat on the street sobbing helplessly. Few people appeared on the scene and there was a lady present there who called the police. The police came and took him away. The inspector was happy that a girl of my age had shown such courage. I too felt happy. The police took the girl and me with them.
“At the police station they wrote a report citing me as a witness and called up our parents. When the girl’s parents arrived they were in tears and thanked me a hundred times for saving the life of their daughter. I felt awkward and told them it was my responsibility. The girl was still in a state of shock. But as she left she thanked me , told me her name was Tanya and asked for my address and phone number. I willingly gave her. Soon my parents arrived and the story the policeman told them was unbelievable for them. They were shocked to know their little daughter had done such a thing and had apprehensions about my security now that I was a witness. The policeman reassured them that nothing was going to happen to me and that for now they should be proud of me. My father kissed my forehead and I fell into his arms, I felt it was the safest place in the world. Then we returned home.
Three weeks following that day dragged away ordinarily. Then suddenly one day my mother came to my room and said that a girl called Tanya had come to meet me. For a moment I thought who Tanya was and as soon as I remembered I ran to the door. She was sitting in the guest room with her mother and the lady who had called the police that day. I hugged Tanya. She had recovered from the incident that day and was looking better. I greeted the Lady as well .” Never did she knew that day would change her life for good .
It was the lady who spoke first. She said,”I was very happy that day to see a young girl like you taking initiative to be a little brave. Even Tanya now believes she should have put up a good resistance to the goons rather than getting afraid by them. But today we are here because we need your help again.”
I thought”My help!! How could I help them?”
She continued ”I lost my daughter at the age of sixteen to cancer. But sometimes I feel that the present condition of the society was tougher for her to fight with than cancer. So I want your help. I am opening a self help group for women and I want you to become a member of it. Even Tanya has joined me. We would be helping the females in the society in ways we can and help them become strong enough to face adverse situations. Would you like to join us?”
“My parents argued that I was too young for such an act but the lady convinced them that there was no age criteria for such things, what was needed was a selfless attitude, a steady mind and a brave heart.”
“I too wanted to contribute for the betterment of women in the society and so as soon as my parent’s agreed I was very happy”
“The day after that the lady whose name i came to know as Mrs.Sarita Biswal addressed a meeting ,I met many women and girls all elder to me actively taking part in the meeting.After the meeting ended,she asked us of our opinions as to what would be our first step.I put forward my view that firstly girls should be given training in self defense so that they can put a good resistance to an attacker. Surprisingly all agreed to it. None other than Mrs. Biswal thought about six girls including me the basics of martial arts and few other techniques for about a year She was a proud black belt owner. Firstly we went to the slum areas and thought the girls there how to protect themselves because these were the areas where the girls were at risk mostly. The parents agreed to let their girls learn after a serious tussle of arguments between us and them. In about five days the girls had overcome their shy nature and had learnt the few basic techniques required by them. My joy knew no bounds when one of the girls was chosen among them to become a member of our group.”
“As we got training in self defense we continued to train others. The girl Mamta who was chosen from among the slum girls, now dressed in clean salwar suit and trained other girls. We even started giving trainings in some small schools and in few schools Mamta was the coordinator.”
“She now had confidence and was happy that she too held some respect. Three years went by and then I was doing my graduation from Patna women’s College that Mrs.Biswal passed away.She left us for her heavenly abode. The group felt as if it was an orphan now,and we didn’t knew what to do. But three days after the incident Late Mrs.Biswal’s husband informed us that she had always wanted me to take over her position as the head of the group.He said he would continue to provide the necessary funds and that we should continue our service. I felt sad and happy at the same time. Mrs. Biswal’s presence would always be missed but I was happy to know that she had confidence in me and I knew that now I had to fulfill her dreams.”
“Thereafter I never looked back. We named our group “Shakti” and started taking out campaigns on femal foeticide ,security of women in the state,girls education etc. I too had an encounter in my childhood. So,I felt children were the most vulnerable lot. They need to be informed what is bad and good for them in terms of not facing any sexual harassment.”
“I consulted many school but all had their apprehensions as to how the parents would react at these things being taught to the children. I was getting negative response from almost all schools. But I knew I needed to do this since I didn’t want anyone else to become a victim like me. “
“One day as I was sipping coffee in my verandah my maid came and said”,Didiji,I have heard about your group. Your mother told me yesterday how you want the small kids to be educated about these things. Even I have undergone one such incident in my childhood, the culprit there was my own uncle but I don’t want my innocent children to go through such a thing. And I don’t know how to talk with them about these things,they are very young, one of my daughters is aged six and the other 10,but I really want them to be aware and I want you to help me in this.”
“I looked at her, pondering over how she cared for her children and though was not much educated but she understood that it was necessary for a child to be saved from such ordeals, and the only way was if they are aware and not ignorant.”
I said to her”I appreciate your concern.You are much more concerned about your children than the people who claim to be very educated and modernized .I will come to your house at five in the evening tomorrow.”
She went away happily.
The next day I was a bit nervous and so were my group mates. We had to teach two small children about this,who had no idea about what we intended to tell them.
The session started off with me asking their names,their hobbies,what they liked to do,did they ever trick their mother and the two girls gave reply to every question followed by a little giggle. Thereafter we did a small play in which one of the characters was a man who was very bad and did bad things. After that we showed how he always disturbed the small girls and treated them badly and the girls crying in pain. The two kids understood that he was a bad man .did bad things and made the girls cry. The one of the asked”What did he do to them?”
“I had to reply this. I told them that his ‘touch was bad’, which made the girls sad and cry. Now they wanted to know what was bad touch. Me and my group mates told them how to differentiate between a bad and good touch ,not to listen to strangers or go out with anyone without informing their parents ,neither to accept things from them and most importantly how to differentiate ‘good touch’ from ‘bad touch’, and if they feel anything wrong, they must inform their mother about it and their father would beat the bad man. The two kids smiled. I left the house with others with a sense of contentment.”
Two days after this my maid came to me and said”Didiji,the day you thought my daughters about the bad touch and good touch,they told these to each one of their friends. Yesterday one of their friends told her mother that the peon in her school was a bad man and she felt that ‘bad touch’,and that father should beat him. Her mother didn’t understand this clearly and she came to me and asked what her daughter was talking about. I understood at once and asked her what had happened. The little girl told me ,that day the man had ‘touched her badly’ the way my daughter had explained to her. We went to her school and informed the principal about it. At once he threw the peon out of his job. The lady thanked me. But you are the one who deserves it. She has come with me to see you”.
Soon after the woman emerged from behind and said”Didiji , you saved my child. It horrifies me to imagine what would have happened to her had she not informed us the very first day. You saved my child. Thank you.”
“I was overwhelmed with joy that a girl was saved because of effort, I smiled to her and she smiled back. She said,”You please come to our locality with your friends and teach the children and girls there about it. It is a request from the residents of the locality.”
“I agreed to come.”
“That day my parent’s too were very happy to know a girl was saved because of my effort.”
“Next day my group and me went to the locality and performed the acts we had performed earlier with the two kids. This time 20 kids turned up and we taught them in the house of my maid. After we had finished ,as we decided to leave the ladies of the locality requested us to have lunch with them. We were more than happy at such a hospitality being showed to us. The food was delicious and we ate stomach full.”
“In the passing years, I completed my graduation and now my father wanted me to prepare for IAS examination. It was mine dream too.”
“But with such a buzy schedule at my group Shakti , I was unable to give enough time to my studies. It was then that Tanya came to my rescue. She told me she would help me shoulder the responsibilities and she stood true to her words ,she helped me a lot.
The news spread like a fire of our group teaching the small kids and now many schools came forward and requested us to have sessions with their students too.
We had to divide the week, allotting different days to different schools. We held sessions for students, girls and boys separately, and for small kids as well. At first the kids were a little shy and didn’t open up, but as time passed by they took interest in our sessions and stared to share their stories with us. It ma de me sad to know that out of every 5 girl two girls had faced some degree of sexual violence in their childhood, but I thought that now the children ,the small kid would at least be able to identify that something wrong was being done to them and inform their parents, so that proper steps may be taken at the earliest .”
“ The principals of almost all schools appreciated our effort and applauded us with praises and mementos. “
“My group was growing big now. In one of the convent schools, the girls there wanted to actively be a volunteer of our group ‘Shakti’. I was more than happy to hear this.”
“Presently we hold sessions in almost all schools of Patna and now we have spread our arms to the surrounding cities as well where more ignorance exists. I am working as the head of the group ‘Shakti’ with Tanya and Mamta as the Head incharge and Coordinator respectively. We now provide skilled training in Martial arts in schools with a minimal fee, and have started the programme ‘each one teach one ‘ in which school and college students teach the slum children and even the elders at least basic of how to read and write. What could be more encouraging than we being helped by the Honourable Governor of Bihar and the Chief Minister of Bihar in our effort. We regularly receive funding from various organizations in the city and some of the five star hotels donate us one rupee for every item they serve . Even the temples have come forward to help us by donating to us some share of their collection at the end of every four months. Presently we are in talks with UNICEF and plan to hold such sessions outside the state as well. We have recognized as the” MOST DYNAMIC YOUTH GROUP “ by The Times.
“It is not I alone who deserves this award but the whole group of ‘Shakti’ and my parents who have always been there with me against any odds. I hope I continue to receive encouragement in the form of active participation from people of the states. But I would be more happy if we can somehow change the mentality of the people ,the stereotype thinking that females are physically weak so they can be put to any type of exploitation. And I would like to call upon the women of not only Bihar but the whole country to be fearless and put strong resistance to any atrocities they face. We need to fight for our respect, our integrity. It is the women who can safeguard other women freedom and integrity.”
“Lastly,i would like to thank all of you present here for being patient with me in hearing my story. Thanks a lot”
Thus Priya’s speech ended. She handed over the mike to the anchor . The anchor said”We are all thankful to Ms Priya Arora for sharing her story with us and hope she continues to succeed in her life. I would like to add to her achievements one more thing which she forgot to mention that she has achieved 5th rank all over India in the IAS exam.”
Priya acknowledged the praise with a smile and walked down the stage. Few other programs were performed and then the evening came to an end. She left the hall with her parents . She could see her proud parents walking with smile on their face. Before leaving the hall, she hugged them and say”I am thankful to you both”. Her father replied”So are we!!” with a twinkling smile.
Then they went to the Governor House where they had been invited for dinner . As her father drove the car, Priya was lost in her thoughts, pondering over how unexpected life had been ,and how thankful she was for it being so.
She looked at her parents and thought how lucky she was to be born to them. She thought about the day she had met Mrs.Biswal,how she had asked to join her, the day she put forth her idea before her and was accepted,the day her application for holding sessions was rejected by almost all schools and the day she was praised by all.
Then suddenly the childhood incident returned to haunt her. She was feeling his hands beneath her frocks, but now before he could reach there, she was now able to pull his hands off and shout to her mother and give him a fearless look, she was no more that fearful child. She imagined herself wanting to punch that brother of her and how her mother held her back from doing it. He shouldn’t do it again ,after all she knew martial arts now! Smiling at her own thoughts she rested her head on her mother’s shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt peaceful but there was more to be done, she promised herself she wouldn’t stop. She remembered a quotation,”’I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.”
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