Impressions

This short story became SPIXer (Most popular story) on 22 Dec 2012 and won INR 500 (US$ 10)

Short Story – Impressions

I always knew I was not that smart and lively guy to be in that group of extroverts. Nothing of complex, it was just another fact and so I never had any regrets about it. My colleagues in the company rated me as a hard working guy, who would complete all assignments meticulously in time,who would never waste time in loose talk and who would never make lame excuses. They loved me for that and I loved myself for who I am,a  silent and reserved guy. Let me tell you – It doesn’t mean that a reserved person can never enjoy warm relations. Sometimes it may be because they haven’t found any one in a group whose wavelengths are compatible to theirs. It may be just like that.

The company was making significant progress. Me being one of the project managers,some slight reflections of it were visible in my pay cheques too, but not big enough, especially when my own efforts for the company’s profits were taken into account. That prompted me to accept an offer from a much bigger concern. They offered me twice the salary I used to get. My resignation letter was accepted after a couple of discussions with the managing director who was a lady. She was a strong headed and attractive woman, in her 40s, I guess. She promised me a salary hike which again was nowhere around the offer I had accepted.

She being the managing director and me being some one lower to her in the organisational tree, discussions solely between us weren’t a usual thing, but that didn’t prevent me from clearly stating my points – a truthful comparison of the efforts I had put in for each of the successful projects , the benefits incurred by the company out of them and the peanuts I had been fed with . I never pretended but just told the truth – I needed salary that justified my sweat and pains; and the new job offered what I wanted. I knew the truth was not going to impress her or any one else (Truths seldom impress others!); but my job was not to impress, but to explain myself.

Every one in the company respected, or feared,  the lady because of her position and power, her abilities and skills. She had taken her B.Tech from some IIT and did her master’s in business administration from abroad. She literally was a strong pillar of the company who had a great vision about its future. Little was known about her family, some one had told me once (of course without me asking) that her husband too was a great business man and she was childless. And, going into the details was  none of my business. She knew there were other employees who resigned showing some fake reasons and  soon joined other firms or went abroad. I think my honesty impressed her, and so also my confidential reports, without doubt. Because, at last she had wished me luck.

The next thing was a party, yeah, a farewell party. I wanted to give it to my colleagues for the better job, and they wanted to give me one for thanking my services and the friendship I shared with them (they believed so; obviously I didn’t have any such wrong idea!) . Both parties were clubbed as one as per my request. A small bash took shape, for those people with whom I had shared my two years and seven months, working in the same building. I had invited my managing director too. The party was planned well (I take no credits) by my out-going and fun loving colleagues-well decorated place, camera, light and sound, music and the most important part, the food-Perfect organising I would say!

During the whole event, I sat at a corner eyeing and enjoying the informal programmes they had arranged. Some sang sweetly, some spoke about me with too much sugar-coated words. I didn’t think any of those were about me, they were all emotional; they said they were going to miss me! God! That was a lie! No one would miss a silent guy that much. I didn’t have any close friends there, all were in the same safe distance. I felt embarrassed when one of my colleagues mimicked me. But then, it was all fun. The food was great and delicious. I felt satisfied though nothing was my plan. Some one asked me to speak, I had nothing to speak. I was not an insincere speaker either who would have said “ I don’t know how I am going to live parting you all!” type statements. Come on, it was my choice that I had decided to quit the job for a better one! So I just thanked them all, for all the support, wished them luck and requested them to wish me the same. So simple!

 

As I was having food, I got an SMS, from my managing director.

“ If you are free, just meet me in the balcony NOW!”

I was really surprised. She had her food early telling me that she would leave soon due to some other engagement. I thought she had already left.

I couldn’t finish my dinner in the way I used to. The question “what for” irritated me.

 

I reached the balcony. My friends were busy having their food and fun below.

There in a sofa she sat, with her legs crossed.

Seeing me she invited and offered a seat opposite to her. The moonlight peeked the space and it felt cool. Her face was puffy as if she were crying since the last day. A strange uneasiness gripped me. I was definitely not feeling okay.

I broke the silence.

“Ma’m are you alright?” The answer came as a question.

“So you are leaving right?”

I couldn’t grasp what she actually meant. She had accepted my resignation letter and had taken part in my farewell party. And the question didn’t seem to fit the situation, at least for me.

“Ahh..!” I tried to say something.

“ What a silly question I am asking!” She realised what she had asked, didn’t she?

A strange silence remained. I wanted to ask her the matter.

But, then she spoke.

 

“Do you watch serials?”

I was completely taken aback.

“SERIALS?” My brain was trying to process all meanings of the word that would suit my work. As I rolled my eyes, I heard her voice.

“Yes , all those stuff that come episode after episode in TV, before which most of the womankind sacrifice their time and life!”

I never had faced such a hilarious question in my life, that too from the most admired and strongest woman I had ever seen, the managing director of my company. I was trying hard to hide my irresistible laugh. The impression I had about her was terribly shaken just with that single question. (Impressions are such short-lived, delicate feelings!)

Without waiting for my answer she continued.

“ You might not be! But I used to watch one, I don’t want to explain the whole story, but I can tell you the point. It is about an educated lady who had to give up her daughter somewhere,soon after the birth as she was a single mother ; time passed, life went on, she got married, and sometime later in her life, she met her daughter…….yesterday I had seen that part……….and…….”

She was telling too many details of the story that I couldn’t concentrate.

“Managing director speaking about TV serials!!! What the hell is going on?”

I was awfully dumbstruck.

Firstly, serials or serial plots had nothing to do with my company’s objectives in any way.

Secondly, I didn’t share a friendly or  ‘that kind of ‘ relation with my managing director to discuss about the TV serials or any other personal stuff for that matter.

My mind came up with a possible reasoning:

She might have got disoriented and the most probable reason might be the drinks that were served in the party.Women like her do drink socially, I knew, but she might have forgotten her quota, I guessed.

To support my reasoning I looked around, my eyes were eager to catch a glass or a bottle, but I was disappointed.She was continuing with her story to which I paid no attention.

I was perplexed without knowing where that conversation headed. I wanted to get out of there!

I looked at her face like a school kid listening to his maths teacher, without understanding how when two digits are added, a completely new digits appears.

She looked at me and mouthed.

“ I find you as a reliable person….You know….” She paused for a moment.

“… I too had a kid and I too had to give it up,for the same reason….I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl, I don’t know whether he/she is alive somewhere….do you think I will meet my child someday?Will I ever hear my kid calling me mother?” Tears were flowing down her face, but her sound was not at all choked. “Since yesterday some buried memories came back to life!”

I sat there shocked.  I couldn’t believe my ears.

Seeing my pale face she stood up soon.

“Sorry for bothering you with my personal matter. I wanted to open up with someone, otherwise,  it would suffocate me and I would die. I couldn’t find any one more reliable than you. Let this be safe in your mind! I wish you all the best!”

She went quickly as I sat there motionless.

“Was she actually THAT drunk to disclose her personal secret to me, a fellow employee?Or did she find me THAT reliable?”

The question “why me?” found no answer.

After five minutes, a ring from my phone brought me to the senses. I got down.

Every one was about to leave and they were searching me.

Some of them consoled me seeing my blood drained face taking it as my pain for bidding good-bye. I just stood there and acknowledged everything they had  said. Then I drove back home.

 

Late night I wrote in my diary!

“Today I left my job with ……………….. and the good-bye party at ……… went great!

Some points!

* All TV serials are not bullshit fictions, as I had thought. Some one might have lived that story, at least, some part of that story.

* Educated, employed and strong women also need some one to open up their minds. If they don’t find that reliable person in their family or friends’s circle they may find some one else, who may be insignificant in their lives otherwise.

*But then, does a woman need a serial to get reminded of her child…her OWN CHILD? Such a woman deserves to be called a mother?”

 

I looked into the dark night through my window.

Then I underlined the third one and gave my own answer:

 

“No, she doesn’t deserve to be called a mother!”

Hours changed admiration to disgust.

(Impressions – how short-lived, how delicate feelings are they!)

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