Once I decided, it wasn’t hard as I thought it would be – except for the fact that just the deciding part took me more than just one night. So there I was three nights into deciding, I had already packed all that I would need into a tiny valise and a backpack. I slung the backpack over my shoulder and carried my one luggage out of my room. At the door I turned to look back. This was probably the last time I would see this room or this house or my parents. I have decided tobleave behind the comfort of these walls to save my parents from the shame I’m going to bring them.
I walked across the hallway to my parents bedroom. I pushed aside the curtain and looked at the sleeping peacefully. For a minute there I almost changed my mind. I shook my head as if to clear it of conflicting thoughts and headed downstairs, tiptoeing, so as to make no noise.
I reached the main door. I felt for the key on the window sill. When I found it I took a deep breath and stepped out. The coolness of the night hit me, surprising me even though I already knew it would be cold out. That was why I was wearing thick denims and a sweat jacket over my tee shirt.
I took another deep breath. I don’t know why I kept doing that. Maybe, they gave me the courage I wanted. I pulled open the main gate and I was out on the street. I started walking up the street to the main road. I had it all planned out.
Three nights ago, that was when I finally started to accept I was not who I wanted to be. I was studying in a reputable medical college. I come from a well of family with a damn good social standing. But is that what I wanted. I didn’t excel in my education because thats not what I want. I put on a fake front to impress my parents and everyone around us. I am not even allowed to be sad because then I’m guilted into thinking I’m not satisfied with the amazing life I have. But that’s not it. I am satisfied with this life I have. But was satisfied by the way I was living it? No.
So what I did first was search the web to find a place to stay. I wasn’t going to live on the streets. I made sure it was far away from home. That’s where I’m headed right now. A faraway place that’s not home. Secondly, I applied to a few online freelance writing workshops. The pay seemed reasonable and I think I can live with what I write. Thirdly, this is in the future, I am going to change my identity and start my own life. So what do u think about a single purple streak amongst dark brown locks of hair? I can think of a who words to describe that – unique, genuine, rebel, different and lastly odd.
Yes, thats where I’m headed. To be odd. To be the odd one out because thats who I am.
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