Prima facie I am always at loss of words when this thing cross over my mind because this damn whole thing is a matter of mixed emotions. When it comes to you I myself don’t know what emotions my heart carries. As the maxim says that “Time heals everything” but yeah it is also a bitter truth that some wounds start bleeding even at the slightest touch.
Albeit now a days my time passes imperceptibly but still whenever even for a nano second you cross my mind I don’t know for what reason my lips curve down and form a shape of smile but yeah at the same time my heart doesn’t agree with my lips and then when all of sudden my cognitive functions restore and connect with my body, my heart sinks and aches at the same time. The only question that looms all over my mind is that is it all self-created or it had to happen anyway then my mind interrogates me with one single sentence…Where was her fault?
It was all the consequence or precisely reverberations of my expectations that just turned out to be chimera or ignis fatuus whatever name I should give. Maybe sometimes when you idolize someone that much, you just fail to acknowledge any of their considerable faults also. But yeah sometimes you have to witness the situation when you are between Scylla and Charybdis. So another reason that my mind gives and justifies my side is that if you give someone your hundred percent then you naturally expect the same from the latter and if the other one use to take this as taken for granted then you should back off because your self-respect don’t allow you to destruct itself anymore and the person naturally don’t deserve you. Right now I am far successful in coming out of all this feeling of Kafkaesque but still some wounds always leave their mark….