SIMPLE STORIES -2
Photo credit: dmscs from morguefile.com
ABSURDITY IN WIVES
Two friends are sitting in a bar and having beer.
“Tell me what is meant by absurdity?’ One friend asked the other.
“Absurdity is a statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.” Other friend replied.
“I cannot understand. I believe that my wife is torturing me with her words. I know that she is bad in this nature. But I always say that she is good. Is it called absurdity?”
“Why not, it is definitely absurdity. My wife is not beautiful. I know this well and I always remember this. My wife asks me to tell that my neighbor woman is beautiful or not. I know that my neighbor woman is thousand times beautiful than my wife, but I say to my wife that she is ugly. Is it not a absurdity to say so?”
ACCOMPLICE
One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty.
Two layers are taking a lesion from the senior lawyer and they are discussing about this word “Accomplice” seriously.
“Suppose, I know that my friend is in affair with a woman in my next door, am I called accomplice?”
“No, you know the crime, but you are not accomplice. If you arrange your friend to meet that woman who is somebody’s wife in your bed room, then you are accomplice.” The senior lawyer said.
“Suppose, if my friend arranges me to meet her in his bed room?” The first lawyer asked his doubt.
“Then your friend is accomplice. If I am also there, there is no doubt that I am also accomplice with you too. Tell me who is that woman and when you are planning to meet her?” The Senior lawyer asked with some more interest in this discussion.
ACCIDENT
Accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.
“She is pregnant. How can you say that this is an accident?”
“Her husband is in Dubai for the last one year, why not this be called as accident?”
“But she is meeting her husband in her laptop and also in dreams. So this happened. How you can say this just an accident?”
“Because… she is meeting me after meeting her husband in laptop and dreams.”
“Oh.. Then this is an accident. I admit this.”
ACHIEVEMENT
Achievement is a thing done successfully with effort, skill, or courage.
Three friends at the age of sixty met in a room to celebrate their achievements.
“I have achieved a great honour in my community. I murdered all who opposed my ideas and achieved harmony in our community. I achieved command in my community as they shiver seeing me and they can’t sleep without remembering me before sleeping.” One friend said.
“I have achieved great property for my family. I never cared anyone to remove from my path, even by removing his life for my prosperity. Now I am happy that for another hundred years my family will be happy eating peacefully with what I have achieved.” Second friend said.
Third friend was unhappy for he did not achieve anything as the other two friends said.
“I am sorry to say that I need not kill for my community and remove people from my path by killing them. I have led a simple life and I have achieved just fifty or more members in my family.” The third friend said with some sad feeling.
ACTUALLY
“Actually…” One person was telling his life story before his close friends.
“Actually… I wanted to become a police officer in my life. My studies went well and I have to join the police officer selection. But my boss came to me, explained me how I can earn ten times more than my police officer job. So I became a criminal in the place of police officer.”
“Actually…” One person was telling his life story before his close friends.
“Actually… I wanted to become a social reformer in my life. But I am forced to marry. I have children. For children I have to earn more. I started earning in this way and that way, that way and this way. Just for my family, I have become a criminal.”
“Actually…” One person was telling his life story before his close friends.
“Actually… I wanted to become a good man in my life. My wife started teaching me that being good is crime for a good family. She made me think that family is what we always think and work for. So I became a working machine for my family and I am called bad.”
I HAVE NO AIM
“What do you say? Don’t have aim in your life?”
The man looked sad at this question. He is sad because he lost his aim. For him aim is his wife. She was his aim and she was his dream also.
“I have aim of a wife. I had her too. But my neighbour was a cheat. He stole my aim.”
“How it happened? You could have protected her. It is your fault.”
“Yes, you are right saying this. It is my fault to own my neighbour’s wife. When I was a winner, he showed me that he was also a winner by taking my wife, my aim.”
PERFECT ALLIANCE
“What is an alliance?”
“The alliance is the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.”
“Like we two, right?”
“How do you say that?”
“I know that you are using the funds in our company for your personal purposes and you are not accounting these expenses. I also recently started this system and I am also using the company funds for my personal things and stopped accounting these expenses like you.”
“So you say that our alliance is right?’
“Yes, right, cent per cent.”
ALONE
The couple went to court pleading that they are living alone and so they should be given divorce.
“How you are alone? You both are living together or not?”
“Living together, but living alone. She looks east when I look west. She looks north when I look south. So we must be separated.”
“How it happened?”
“Her painting is on east wall and my painting is on west wall. Her painting is on north wall and my painting is on south wall. We both are artists”
Judge understood the problem. He asked the two artists to keep their paintings side by side. They made this change. Now THEY ARE NOT ALONE. They look at each painting of them, yet they don’t feel that they are separated as both are seeing at one side only.
__END__
