Social Short Story – Deewaani main teri deewani
Photo credit: cohdra from morguefile.com
When we talk about a divine love, the very first name that comes to our mind is either “Meera” or “Radha”, but there are many Radhas and Meeras in today’s world as well. State of one such living Radha is described here.
It is the state of love of a Christian who is transformed in love with the Supreme Soul. World may call Him as Supreme Soul, Parmaatma, God, Ishwar, Satya Purush, Allah, Jesus, Ram, Krishna etc., but I call HIM “LORD”. When we talk about God the immediate thought that comes to our mind is “Someone up above the sky, who existed ages ago and to whom we offer our prayers.” What we do not understand here is that even they were once present on earth like any other human being and even today there are such Avatari Purush is there and still keep doing the same kind of job as those of who passed away and whom we call as God. A devotee’s love towards his Lord is narrated here.
State of love is quite interesting, ‘बिन डोर खीचे चले जाते है”. It is the state Shakuntala who used to always remain lost in her beloved’s thoughts, similarly a devotee is always lost in his devotion. You enter into such a state that you prefer to remain alone. If anyone talks to you, you pretend as if you are listening but your thoughts are only with Lord, nothing enters your head. My colleagues used to observe this in me and quite often used to point it out to me. I cannot stand a talkative person, who keeps on talking and that too on a topic which is of no concern to me. I felt as if I am being hammered and find some excuse to escape. I just wanted to be lost in Lord and did not like any one disturbing me. I always wanted to be with my Lord.
Physically I was at home but my mind was with Lord. I was at work but my mind was with Lord. I used to be crowded with people but always felt lonely because my mind was with Lord. When you are not in yourself you land up in trouble. When presence of mind is not in you what happens is that you are physically present somewhere but your mind is present somewhere else. One or two such incident I would like to share. I never knew about the major transformation which was taking place in me. I just had one thought “Lord”, my state was now as that of robot, just doing things for the name sake without applying mind.
My husband and children were also noticing this change in me and absent mindedness. Once it happened that I went with my husband on bike to get milk. I went to the shop and like a robot asked for milk. My husband kept waiting near the bike. I bought the milk but the shop keeper did not give me a carry bag. I was again absent minded, my concentration was not there. I came out of the shop with milk packet in my hand and was about to be seated on bike and I felt that somebody took away the packet of milk from me. I turned around and saw that the dog cheated me. It disappeared in second with the milk packet. I looked at my husband with a sad face and he said “तू क्या करती है? अब यहाँ खड़ी हो जा, मैँ दूध लेकर आता हूँ”.
That day I felt pity on myself and my state. Even a dog took advantage of me. I said to myself “never mind, the dog was in need of the milk more than me”.
There are many such incidents to share but would like to share one more. My state was such that I wanted to be alone. I never liked mingling with anybody neither with family or friends or never wanted to be socially around. I felt that they are disturbing me and my thoughts of Lord.
One more such stupidity incident I would like to share. There was a wedding invite from one of my church colleague. His Son was getting married to an American lady. I didn’t want to attend the wedding but this was an unavoidable one as this family was quite renowned and one of the oldest member of the church. Moreover he came personally to invite and said that we must attend. I could not attend the wedding but went for the reception which was being held at a hotel. As usual took a gift for the couple. My aim was to quickly handover the gift, have dinner and to be back home soon. I was leading and husband and children following me.
As mentioned earlier, I was lacking concentration in everything; I could see only Lord everywhere. We reached the reception area where the bride and bridegroom were seated. I did not even bother to ask as to whose wedding reception is it that is taking place as I thought there can be only one reception and that is the one that I am going to attend. There were lot of crowd, I wanted to ignore the crowd, finish off the formality and return. I handed over the gift to the bridegroom as the invite was from the boy’s side. I had never met the boy before as he was in USA doing his studies. I then looked at the bride, she was little dark and short. I said to myself that she does not seem to be an American. Anyways, why should I be bothered? Photographer took our photo along with the couple and we were facing the crowd at that time.
Suddenly I saw the ladies all in glittering kind of dress, some even in ghoonghat. It struck me that this is not my kind of crowd. I clarified with the bridegroom and came to know that this is a different wedding which is going on. I apologized and asked for the gift back. This was an awkward situation. I could not forgive myself for my stupidity. Husband again started his lecture for on stupidity.We then reached the second floor where the actual reception was taking place. Oh my God I could not believe my eyes the bride was so beautiful, fair and tall. They looked as though they were made for each other.
Once in spirituality, your topic of discussion also changes, your worldly talk is now transformed to a spiritual talk. Your world lies within you only and when Lord is your world, your likings also gets molded the way Lords wants. I now just want to run for Lord and his mission. I just want to do what my Lord wants me to do. His likings are now my likings. Priorities of life are now different, the prime priority becomes “Lord”. My family, even children, my society, my church, my community etc. stands secondary. The speed of my life slowed down. I now have no more ambition of flying high and my race of life has come to an end.
My attitude now is that “”मिला तो ठीक और नही मिला तो भी ठीक”. But Lord’s grace on me is such that even the smallest matter of my life is taken care. Christmas preparations I used to do at least a month in advance. I used to plan for the shopping, decorating, baking cake etc. I used to bake good plum cakes, my husband used to tell me that I can start a bakery. But that enthusiasm is lost somewhere, Christmas nears and still I have not done anything. Children ask me “Mom are you not baking cakes this time?”
On their request I try baking, but I do not get the kind of cake for which I was known for. It so happens that either it comes out burnt or sometimes uncooked. Whatever you do in life, if you lack interest it is not going to give you result.
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