After trying so hard for some engineering job, I randomly went for an interview for the profile of technical writer and got selected. I decided to continue with it. I found this profile very creative and interesting, and later, I never tried to switch back to my original domain of engineering. I continued the job with my full-hearted efforts. This started showing off results for me as several appreciations came my way, and I realised something good has in store for me in this domain.
Everything was so good at that time, and I decided to learn something for inner satisfaction. Yes, I had a yearning for dance and singing from my school days. But, I could not pursue the same because of shortage of money. Whenever I told my father about my desire for such activities, he used to refute it by saying “I could afford money only for your studies, not for any futile, worthless activity”. But when I started earning, I thought of giving my yearning a shot.
At the same time, my parents thought of paving way for my marriage. They started looking out a groom for me. Several matches came up and my parents decided to go for everyone without giving it a second thought. They just wanted me to get married soon as children of other relatives had been marrying in such a quick time. They had this fear of what the society would say, if my daughter does not get married on time.
In fact, I still do not know what time they were talking about. For me, the time would be correct only if you get to understand that person and have a strong belief of companionship in times of worst difficulties. You should have the feeling of security and love in his hands and a conviction that the person will never leave your hands midway. Most of the middle classes, like mine, take marriage for granted. The families never let their children to build a trustworthy relation and make them to jump into marriage in no time. And my family was no different.
They started to groom me, especially my mother, who conveyed me several tips for winning the hearts of the groom’s family. But the given tips went down the drain as many of the families we met for talks had other prioritized list in their mind for the would-be-bride. Those prioritized list comprised flare for white skin, good height, lean body, beautiful face, good education, job and last, but not the least, the family status. I did not know the grooms’ family, we met, had settled me into which priority. However, one thing was sure they were definitely looking for a super woman as per their priority list. My parents had no qualms about it because they just wanted me to get married. In fact, they had no expectation from the groom’s family, except the groom was earning, no matter more or less than me. In fact, I had no problem with this. But, don’t you think this gigantic expectations set for a bride stimulate a racist notion towards a woman. I mean, the pressure of presenting a woman as a bride is always higher than to a groom. The groom’s family expects so much from a bride, without thinking whether the groom actually deserves the same. They wanted a super woman for their son, but was their son a super man?
Amid of all these things, I completely forgot about my yearning because my parents’ wish had overpowered my wish. But the destiny had something else for me. After facing rejection from 15 families, fortunately or unfortunately, I again took up the initiative to learn singing and dancing. I clearly told my parents “please let me live on my own terms and conditions till I get married to someone”.
This time they had to agree with me. I explored some nearby singing and dance academy and joined the one. The lesson I learnt “Do whatever you want right now, never show your desire a delay path just because others say so”.
So, everyone out there, follow the famous lyrics from the movie Barfi “jo karna he wo aaj kr, naa isko taal baware”.
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