“What the hell should I do now?” this was the only thing which had been running in her mind for last six months.
“I wish that our thoughts could run pretty similar to these parallel railway lines.” thought the girl standing on the over bridge. She had passed many days counting trains which always keep sliding on tracks in predefined manner. It was her to introspect and reflect on her life.
Oh, yes, Life? This struck her mind like a dagger. Life, my life, but where?
“Have I lost the very sense of what my life is?” the girl asked herself. But there was no point asking because she lost even the smallest sign of so called life.
Indeed, breathing is taken as very sign of life but that’s true only for the first time we breathe, not after accumulating trillions of dust particles deep down in our lungs.
This started when she decided to indulge with the things people call normal. Normal as having a boy in your life so that you can enter into chaos of never-ending drama just to entertain others. You are ridiculed and others enjoy. Well that’s a different aspect. She was perhaps recollecting the thoughts that’s why it’s all so annoying. “What was wrong with the simple me? Why is it so necessary to have a guy in your life particularly you can talk adult stuff to? Or is it me who required a certificate of being a girl? Perhaps we girls are so insecure that we can’t wait to achieve the womanhood alone without having those teenage disasters which only going to hurt us at last? Why do we all insist on making our sweet teenage so horrible?” angered the girl.
The reason behind all emotional bulls**t was, of course a coward who belongs to the community of the donkeys which tend to induce love in girl’s heart without having any intention to love her back. She was only wondering why it had become so grave for her only. She took her eyelids down and let the lukewarm wind of summer dry up the water on her cheeks. “ So I am mad at everything, I am hungry and I am purposeless? What is next disaster then?” pondered the girl.
Next would be the train she had to board on, so she took the stairs down and stood while the train whistled at distance.
“the train will be slow but fast enough to break my small structure. I could survive but perhaps my low willpower will drag me to death.” plotted a sketch that idiot girl so she was going to jump on the track. Creepy, she had been a scholar all her life and she was going to choose this unsophisticated way to end her last 20 years. It could have been poison, cutting vein, sleeping pills etc. well she chose this way what to do with girl gone crazy.
Engine was just some hundred meters away from the platform and moving towards her with thrusting in its way. The platform noise and crowd’s chattering made her dumb. She coughed when inhaled the engine fog. She narrowed her vision and continued to build her confidence. She stroked the point and jostled to move. One step and the next, no, the other one and a cry. The engine had passed. She was facing just opposite the train and trying to find the cry which made her turn.
She found nothing. The whole incident had paralyzed her. “What was I going to do?” sobbed the poor girl. Draped in sweat she was regaining her wits as something was speedily moving through her veins. The cry was certainly there but it’s a dilemma in identifying whose cry. It could be of her afflicted self which did jump there. Or it was of her life which found her again.
–END–
