Part 3: Chapter 9: Reflection
Hanako stares into the opaque water, the moon rising before her, and an adherent fog settles over the lake. The image of her dark hair, her pale skin, and brown eyes stares back at her. A formation of thoughts leads to one idea, how much different is this figure she sees now from the ghost of her vitality? It is an empty, emotionless representation of her essence. It is the physical, coherent image of her somatic values. The mind of this girl in the water lies empty, drifting throughout time with absence of morality.
She watches as the image is distorted, a slight breeze rippling across the water, and realizes how impervious to damage she is in stark comparison to the replication, how easily disfigured it is, and how strong she must seem. This mindset is negative, giving her the impression of invulnerability, ultimately leading to a downfall, she realizes this and focuses on the aspect of safety that her image on the lake conveys.
Hanako stands up, her back straight and pushes her hair back. It has been a day since she left the village, and the memory of its hidden depths is broken. The feeling of betrayal that haunted her has begun to lift, leaving her in the sense that she did the right thing. She resumes walking alongside the murky water, the grass is long and obscures her legs, sending a drowning impression through her mind. On the distant horizon, she sees the outline of something large. A building, she thinks, its certainty is unavailable to her yet, as it is barely discernible from where she stands. But, yes, it appears to be a building.
Bathed in the moonlight, the trees around her begin to grow in their numbers as she walks, from a thin layer of small trees to a dense darkness enveloping about her. She continues walking, though with great difficulty as the fallen branches increase. Stepping over a pointed black branch, she glances at the nearing building, placated. Its lights present sanctity from the thick forest, though the moon shines above her, it is a dark night in the trees. And without an intention to turn back, she steps out of the last vestige of the woodland. Before her is a hill, steep and rocky, the terrain presents no surmountable path, and she examines the little amount of foot and hand-holds available to her, and assumes that the danger is too great. She begins an excursion around the building, searching for a more attainable entrance.
At length, a reasonable path displays itself, winding up the hill at a dangerous angle. For reasons unknown, she has an inexplicable urge to enter this building. She begins the ascent up the worn trail, heavy with footprints. A peculiarity stands out in her head, being that each of the footprints resemble each other, seeming to come from the same shoes. The gradient presents a challenge to her, defying her intellect and bringing all her elegance to a halt, forcing her to surrender to the basic elements of human existence.
As Hanako reaches the top, her breath ragged and her blouse torn, she gazes at the towering miscreation of architecture. It is large, undoubtedly, but lacks the décor of beauty that she values so highly. Rectangular and barren, the huge construction sheds streaks of bright light from inside its strangely lit interior. The windows are small, square and dreary, and only a small percentage of them leak out the yellow light, cutting into the black sky like knives full of intent. A vast and grotesquely plain door stands in front of her. It is grey, and formed of metal, the small window implanted in it is barred, and Hanako shudders momentarily, experiencing a usually reserved portion of apprehension. She brushes it off, not allowing herself to be afraid of nothing.
As she pulls open the heavy door, her conscience informs her of impending change. Something soon will alter her perception of altruism. As the innards of this building come onto her view, and the door shuts gently behind her, Hanako realizes where she is. This is a prison. A melancholy feeling overwhelms her, tinged with the same apprehension she guards so well.
In front of her, faintly lit by a small lamp, lies an extensive corridor. It is more of a room than a hall, but the sensation of only having one destination locks into her mind. Before her is a desk, the lamp flickers softly on top of its wooden surface, and behind that sits a chair. A harsh déjà vu comes back to her of the first building. The Truth building. The memory lifts instantly, but she still cannot shake the overpowering feeling of anticipation of recurrence. She steps forward, assured that she is alone in this hallway, and the floorboards lament under her feet. Hanako arrives at another black door, its handle silver and unused. As she turns it, her mind questions the absence of people compared to the obvious lights that adorn the exterior of the building, and she proceeds with caution.
Another hallway opens up to her field of view, and she peers down it, gaping at the darkness that surrounds it. Doors adhere to its walls, and sporadically lay open, jutting light out into the repressive obscurity of the darkened hallway. As Hanako traverses the passage, she glances into the open rooms. What she sees is new to her, it invades her sense of calm and suitability with the world. Proving the guilt of humanity with one quick sign: she sees a crude metal bed, a small table and a candle. The absolute simplicity in the room shocks her, how can one survive with only these things?
Innocence.
The vehement fear that she is not as proficient as she should be overruns her. This is simply another step in her essence, her precautionary life has led to this realization of absolute certainty.
And, as she nears the end of the hall, with a mournful glance into each of the bereft rooms, she finds an object of fascination and earlier obsession. A mirror. Her reflection stares palely at her, hollow eyes and tired limbs, hanging doggedly at her sides. She is taken aback, surely she does not share the girl in the mirror’s shameful appearance, but, pertaining to her recent venture, she guesses it is practical. The reflection seems to stare past her, at a point she cannot grasp, in reality or in a metaphorical term. It knows something, something more, however primal and incoherent it is, it knows a truth, an elaborate truth that she has lost the ability to fathom. It knows what she cannot ever see, what lies behind her at all times, and this is a stark horror in her eyes. To be in the dark, to be alone in knowledge, to be lost, to be without the dependent sacrifice of time to ponder; it has all this while she does not.
Part 3: Chapter 10: Inanity
She leaves the progressive mirror to itself, refraining from subduing her enthusiasm by dwelling on the knowledge she has missed. As Hanako walks, she begins to hear small whimpering noises, incurring and melancholy they sound. Fright surrounds her, enveloping her and nearly paralyzing her, a worry of almost frivolous meaning. But, still, with the reoccurring sounds of pain and sadness around her, she considers her emotions correctly placed.
Hello, she inquiries into the darkness, her voice echoing a mournful emanation through the thin hall. The sounds of anguish decrease slightly, and Hanako steps into a doorway that seems to be the source of the pain. A darkness elaborates around her, and, seemingly in the middle of the black room, a metal cot sits adjacent to the doorway, and on its white sheets sits a girl.
Straight black hair, small, she sits cross-legged, and looks up at Hanako, tears streaming in crystalline lengths down her face. A sob causes her to look down, sniffling, then look back up, her eyes glistening.
Who are you? The girl whispers, a small voice inherent of a person racked with pain all their life escapes between her lips.
I… And for once, Hanako cannot answer. Who is she besides the syllables that form her name? She has met Essence, and cannot form the idea that she is any more than that, a breathing being, yes, but without her life’s meaning she is nothing. In truth she is alone, Essence is gone, leaving Hanako to derive her own meaning without the aid of an interactive truth such as Essence.
I am known as Hanako, but form your own meaning of my title, it will ensure correctness. Who are you?
The girl trembles, her dark hair a veil of her pale and anguished face. Hanako examines the outright horror in the girl’s eyes, doubting that she is sane. Her expression portrays the lack of conscious thought, she is elsewhere, withdrawing into herself and forgetting the past as instantly as she relinquishes the present.
My name is Chloe. She manages, a sob still in her voice. And I am trapped.
Hanako remembers the small statue given to her by Jane in the village, and regrets her decision of leaving it behind for a moment, then closes her eyes. The world before her turns red, then dark; small spots of light flash in front of her, she reaches for them with her mind, a desperate attempt to conquer the unobtainable specks of pressure in her eyelids. She opens her eyes, refraining from the continuation of this exercise, now almost fully balanced again, regaining control of her posture and thought process.
Chloe, how did you get here? The small girl shudders, a sob on the brink of release, then sighs,
I fought for so long. The mind is a powerful place, Hanako, more so than the most dominant of human inventions, it can be bent, broken, snapped, and hurt as easily as any leaf can be torn. The least one can do is nurture it, take care of the one thing that truly defines them, makes them who they are. But me… No, I could not. I was tired of routine. I broke the barriers of the conscious mind and entered the realm of the subconscious, where I should not have gone.
How? How did you break into your own mind? Control seems like a precious thing to keep, especially in a mental sense. Hanako asks, her eyes studying the girl curiously, as if it seems impossible.
I fought my awareness, I actually attempted to go into the place where I had no control over myself. And I got there, I reached a moment where I was unconscious, I was lost in my own head, and I slept. I slept for too long, and when I awoke, the present was too far past, the future was bleak, and I was chained in the lengthening feature of time. Chloe lifts her dress to mid-calf, exposing the shackles that bind her to the floor, and smiles strangely, sad, and in no way joyful.
I could free you. Hanako says naively , staring in apparent horror at the metal rings that force Chloe into entrapment.
I would not. Hanako, please, I could not be more grateful. But I cannot allow that, as I have no control over my mind. Danger awaits those who seek to aid the weak.
Who put you here?
For a moment, the girl, so fragile and innocent, looks angry, then says simply, in a soft and barely perceptible voice,
I did.
And Hanako steps backwards, back into the hallway, watching as the melancholy face of Chloe disappears as it once appeared.
Part 3: Chapter 11: Inference
And she leaves. She walks through the dense forest, intermittently stopping to look for Essence. A void begins to form in her mind, the absence of reason in her recent excursion gnaws at her conscience. What was gained from that? She thinks, following her footsteps backwards, retracing the path of meaning that she formerly walked so assuredly. Now, she begins to sense a loss of character, the adaption to safety that she harbors now seems cruel. She remains safe while Chloe lies trapped in shackles against her own origin. Seemingly, it was of her own fallacy that she has sentenced herself to that fate, but still, Hanako feels torn with sadness for the girl.
Do not worry, Hanako. Chloe will find her conduit to safety and happiness. The ghost is once again there, standing beside Hanako, a calm and beautiful expression formulating on her placid face.
You speak as if it will occur soon. And how? How can one so securely tied to anger break free?
We can always free ourselves from oppression. The courage it takes is seldom seen in most, Hanako. Yet, it must be done with benign innocence, not with force and power.
And Hanako journeys on, pondering the force of the statement that Essence uttered so calmly.
The moon traverses across the sky, delicately searching its way through the speckled beauty of the night’s canvas. And in the resonance of nature’s echoes, she hears the glamor in darkness. A perfection better heard and not seen; she hears the sound of the lovely wolves, the gentle crickets, the harmonious owls, and everything that has a voice in the chill of the lengthening night. And they serve as her reminder, her call to sociality, she is not alone, she is no longer between frailty and strength, she holds the fortune of knowledge and the inference of Chloe’s saga of tragedy.
Caught in a blur of thoughts, her mind still wanders, seeking refuge from the darker thoughts of doubt, regression, and admittedly, memory. She tracks her way through the excess of nothingness, unconsciously finding her way even in the darkened forest.
As she travels back, her destination still undecided, she enters the reiteration scene of her mind. To go slowly through the encounters of her journeys and explain each one to herself, to gain clear perception of her meaning and how they came to be.
Beginning with the one who taught her failure. Failure, the mere mentioning of it irritates her, but she accepts that when she began this journey, she was unprepared for the harsh expectations of reality. She learned from Failure that she had to know more, she had to accept success as a neutral power, not always there for her in her time of need. Failure, in his short dialogue with her, explained that she was nothing yet, and she had still to find her true meaning in life. Hanako smiles with the contentment of how far she has come since her first meeting.
Soon after, she met Intelligence. He taught her the meaning of fear, the bleak horror of truth that is the reality of anxiety. He explained to her the possibilities that which she could apply to fear to dispel it, to cure her fears and quell her terrors. Unknowingly, he touched upon her true reasons for journeying, her meaning in what she is doing. The conversation they shared enlightened her, opened her eyes to the factual side of imagination. And she continues walking, knowing her third meeting was undoubtedly the most important. Essence.
Essence was, and is, Hanako’s personality, thoughts, actions, ideas, motives, physicality, metaphorically a copy of her as well, and her meaning in society, her conscience, her life, her advice, her aid, her. She is her. She is Hanako. Hanako is Essence just as readily as Essence is Hanako. They are one, they are the same person, they share the same thoughts, actions.
Her thoughts move to Trevor, he was the one person she cannot decipher like she does most people. His uncanny ability to misunderstand reality in the truest and most basic of senses caused her to reconsider her position on his intelligence for a moment. He was bright enough, lacking not in intelligence or determination but in the actual extremity of physical prowess of when he would face his challenge. And what was his challenge? To lead his people to contentment? To save his culture and preserve their freedom? And if these were his goals or intentions, how would he do so without assistance? Jane was certainly qualified to help, but what of the rest? Would they blindly follow his and her lead against uncertain odds and challenges? No, Hanako reasons, probably not. They would flee, flee to the hills, the plains, the forests, and the cities, lost in their own confusion and indecision.
And what of Jane? She seemed ready to stay, hindering her people by letting them stand alone in their ignorance while she alone harbored the intelligence to suit all of them. Hanako deducted her to be the leader, and she wonders at Jane’s social status, regarding it as high but not deserving of her. Jane walked alone down a path most of her people would never set foot on, and the means with which she portrayed this hierarchical sense of mind betrayed a sense of possession over her own people.
And lastly, Chloe. The girl’s position in life horrifies Hanako so much that she feels the swift rush of tears fill her limpid eyes, a hot sting of unabashed regret, and the onset of a bleak culmination of life. Chloe was lost in her own unknowing mind, her eyes blind to the portrait of insanity that lay so alarmingly before her. Chloe sat, shackled to the floor in some cold prison of misery and entangled in the chains of her own presence, and expected the freedom of the world she used to know to come back to her. Hanako knows this is foolish, but the loss of mind can affect all people, no matter how affirmed in their perfection they may be.
Part 3: Chapter 12: Beauty
As Hanako gains her perceptions of the encounters of Failure, Intelligence, Determination, Interrogation, Insanity, and Essence, she completes the rounding journey of conclusion. The sun rises to the west, shining like the sky split apart to reveal the recurring light of each generation, moving the shadows across the land, even in the reaches of its farthest tendrils. As if some great power had moved the intentions of life, the rays of sunlight defying the night, the dark dying in the embers of its reign, and the world accepting the culmination of its supremacy.
Lightly, Hanako reaches skyward, her thin fingertips stretching to the first beginnings of blue and red and yellow and the world lies still, forgotten in the moment of her ultimate gratification. Her eyes, unblinking as the night of the storm, rise to the sky as well, seeing the trueness of her perceptions, the light a proven factor of her contentment.
High above, the condensation of a cloud, gathered in a loft of cold and warmth, releases the last of its unwanted burden, letting the drop fall impossibly fast to reach for Hanako as she does the same to it. The meeting of the two, the drop of rain landing, streaming, and falling down her pale cheek, a tear she never cried, provides the isolation of humanity from the practical world of science, sending the thought of impractical deterioration through her inherently logical mind.
And she retracts her arm down to herself, wiping away the softness of the water on her cheek and blinking as the ice of the moment fades in the light’s rays. She has learned; the success of her past is merely a seed of accomplishment to her now, the highest form of power she has possessed now a blade of grass in a large meadow of the present, her previous life turned to a bleak existence that which she trudged through meaninglessly.
She has embraced all that can be offered, the acceptance into her presence arrogantly sends her into the environment she induced to herself, and returns her no more than before, no less than now, and the clash of two personalities that no more are each other bring her to a halt before the depth of her soul; the imprisonment and divulgence of Essence, and the fear she never disclosed, as her ignorance to its existence brought the intent of her life upon herself.
Thus ends the telling of Innocence
To be continued…
