Foreign(alien) Direct Investment in Multi brand Retail

Social Short Story – Foreign(alien) Direct Investment in Multi brand Retail
Photo credit: Alvimann from morguefile.com

If it’s on the Internet, it’s gotta be Alien.

It turned out to be quite a weird day.

Never ever read any newspaper on the internet. Now you may feel that I am a primitive and nostalgic old moron, loving the scent of the cheap faded white pulp that a newspaper emanates. Partially, it’s true. But more so, it’s got to do with a weird incident of which I happen to be the protagonist.

You must have seen those oscillating ads while reading a juicy scoop of one of the attractive celebrities in the tabloid of the day, which say ‘Congrats! You are the 999,999 visitor in Vadodara. You have been selected to test a new iPhone 4s!’

or ‘Click the “Yes” button below to try and win before the time runes out’.

Trying to swat aside the vibrating irritator, I inadvertently clicked “No”, only to get redirected to their website which (of course!) tried to sell stupid sh*t.

You won’t really believe what I am going to say next.

When I clicked “No”, the website that sprouted up didn’t try to sell those Chinese Androids or Sauna Belts- it was like no commercial website I had ever seen.

Over to the left corner was scribbled ‘Mind Bender’ and the tag line was ‘Give your brain a new high’. That indeed disgusted me. A leading daily to support an ad of that sort was just plain wrong. I of course thought that those crazy blokes sold illegal drugs and was just about to flag the website as inappropriate when I noticed something queer.

All over the webpage, there were several oldish glass paned windows with their price tags below them. I thought it to be a good marketing strategy and out of curiosity moved the mouse pointer over one of them.

Nothing happened. That is to say, nothing happened on the computer screen.

But something did happen. Inside my mind, I began to hear a queer eerie music that I could not dream of to be a figment of my own imagination. That music was downright alien. I moved the mouse pointer to another of the window panes only to hear the strange tune all over again. I was horrified.

But before the fear could hit my senses, I began to hear a melodious voice of a woman, who indeed was trying to sell me something. But my brain was dead with fear. I could not register a single word uttered by her. I swiftly closed the site and shut down the computer. My heart was beating faster. How could that happen? Cold sweat broke over my forehead. Never before had something that creepy happened in my life.

But I knew that it had indeed happened. I wasn’t dreaming. But the fact that humans haven’t advanced that much in Computer Technology made me doubt. After all, it might be just happenstance. Our minds are capable of doing weird things. But no amount of consoling myself brought me out of the somber mood.

The fact was I was still curious. After all, it’s curiosity that kills the cat!

I popped my computer open. I usually keep facebook open in one of the tabs, so it indeed was unusual to have a guy called Alienman sending you a friend request. When I went to his wall, the funny thing was, I began to hear the voices again.

This time I paid attention to what it said. It said, “Alienman- a quite quintessential extraterrestrial genius and the creator of ‘Mind Bender’.” Now, you really gotta be joking.

It was so unreal. The guy on the website sought me out on facebook, how is that possible?

Then, I thought, if he had the temerity and the necessary technology to enter your mind, the task of seeking you out on a social networking site was no rocket science for him. Hell, even rocket science might not be rocket science for him, if you get what I mean.

Again, due to my exclusive and original curiosity, I accepted his request. No sooner I did so, that his message popped up in the chat!

“Hello Vismay :-).”

Okay, the guy was fast.

I replied, “Who are you mister and why are you stalking me?”

“:-P…………..I am not stalking you dude, just trying to sell you some chocolates.”

You must be feeling that no one writes such long sentences on a facebook chat, but I have a habit of doing so. That Alienman bloke seemed to be suffering from the same plight.

But coming back to the point, I was baffled. I was unable to co-relate those singing window panes with chocolates.

“Chocolates?”

“You don’t like them? :-(”

If someone was using circumlocution, it had to be Alienman. I decided to talk tough.

“Mister, you are crossing your line. Talk straight or not at all….”

He did not reply. Instead, he chose a more direct means of communication. He spoke directly inside my mind.

“I am Alienman. And to be quite frank, I indeed happen to be an Alien. The site that you just visited sells chocolates, for adults of course!  You just moved your mouse over that window pane and got scared out of your wits on hearing Natasha’s voice. I dare you to click it, you would loooovve it.”

And indeed I saw another tab pop up (without my doing anything) and I was redirected to that insolent website. I saw those panes once again. An orchestrated noise hit my ear drums. Those panes wanted to be clicked.

But I did not budge. The noise rose in intensity. After a time, it hurt.

I clicked the mouse on one of those panes.

Indeed there was an inviting dark chocolate which filled most of the screen. Beneath it, a message flashed, “This being your first time, we offer you this chocolate free of cost!!!! Enjoy.”

I began to hear a lilting, seductive voice of a woman. It was goading me to click on the chocolate! I tried to resist her overtures but to no avail.

I clicked it.

A thousand Red Bulls would not be enough to describe that state of mind. It indeed gave me wings. It tickled me, it taunted me, and it did a whole lot of things that I would be embarrassed to put in words. An ecstatic state of mind, it gave me all that and more in copious amount.

I could not believe that it lasted for so short a time. By the time I was sensible enough, I noticed that only bits and pieces remaining instead of the chocolate. Of course it was gobbled.

I was exhausted. It was good that, I was all alone in my house; otherwise my yells of pleasure might have put me in a very uncomfortable position.

Alienman was indeed waiting for me. He spoke into my mind, “I hope you liked it.”

You won’t believe me, but I indeed imagined a grotesque alien frame winking at me evilly.

I chose not to reply.

He plodded on, “You must be totally exhausted. I advice you that come tomorrow and we would start this afresh. Of course, you won’t be getting free chocolates anymore, though I may offer you discounts.”

When I tried to deny that, he interrupted me, “Why keep double standards? You and I both know that you won’t be able to stop yourself from visiting us. Plus what you just ate was an extremely diluted sample of pleasure, there is much more in store…”

I kept mum.

“Till then, I must bid adieu. You see, I have a business to run. Plus I want a direct entry into your country India- I am told by reliable sources that this is a country which keeps its pants up forcefully and you guys are quite repressed out there. It would be indeed lucrative for my business, you know. Hope you put in a good word amongst your friends. We extraterrestrials would be entering the Indian market with lot more to offer- chips, burgers, sandwiches and of course chocolates!!  It would be a sort of FDI in Multi Brand Retail, though you may not have a Mamata in that domain to oppose it! Good bye.”

It shocked me to the very core. The impunity with which the guy brandished me with his stuff and then in an extremely supercilious tone told me that I won’t be able to resist it, was downright mind-zapping.

But of course I knew I wanted more of those chocolates. I knew that I would definitely visit the site tomorrow. My life is wasted.

But I want to warn you. Next time you see one of those ‘Click the “Yes” button below to try and win before the time runes out’, ignore it.

Otherwise, get ready to face the consequences.

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