“Hello & welcome to your favorite show – ‘May Hitler Bless You!’ I am your host Ed Bundy. Last week we had a heated discussion about ‘Should we make Capital Punishment a live program?” After polls in social networking sites and through mobile sms, it was decided that from now on it will be a live program. All of us will be able to witness that beautiful proof of justice. The first episode will be aired live on next Saturday and the show will be called – “Justified Death: Live & Happening!” Stay tuned for more info or you can log on to our website. The details are shown below. Anyway, today’s topic is ‘Peace and its consequences’. In a world where we have to fight constantly to survive, isn’t the concept of peace itself hypothetical? I mean when you are in a reality, how can you talk about dreams? It’s insane, isn’t it? Let’s hear it from our chief guest tonight. He is the Chuck Norris of social activities. The man has already bought two Nobel Peace Prizes and the third one has already been ordered online. He is none other than Sir George W. Laden.” –
The host completed his long introductory speech and then Sir Laden started to say – “Thank you. Actually in this world hatred is natural, love is overrated; betrayal is justified, kindness is sympathetic cruelty; violence is universal, peace is boring.”
The host then gave him a cup of coffee and asked – “What are your views on the concept of world peace? Some extremists and terrorist organizations claim it to be the ultimate solution of every problem. What’s your opinion?”
Sir Laden took a sip and replied – “It’s disgusting. World peace means no war & no war means no national integrity among the citizens. If there is no war, how come our boys and men become martyr? And more importantly they won’t be termed as heroes. Imagine a world without war-heroes and thus you will be able to imagine a world without war.”
As hours passed their conversation became ‘darker’ & ‘darker’ because of electricity faults. They were eagerly awaiting the main event – the incident at the Asylum. At one point, the host asked the field-reporter about that live incident to which the reporter replied that the Mayor of the city, the Asylum authorities, media, paparazzi – everyone was there. They were very curious to see the evaluation of all the pending prisoners. What would be their future – the normal world or the insane Asylum?
The field reporter asked the Mayor about his opinion on the Asylum. Although he heard the question clearly, he acted like he didn’t. He was looking at the clear blue sky. It was a hot shiny day. Spring had never looked better. He then looked through the fence of the Asylum. It consisted of electric wires and this represented high tech advancement of this era. The ground on the opposite side was blood soaked red; the ground beneath them was filled with greenish peace. Chirping of birds, whistle of wind – everyone seemed to be ready for the ultimate showdown.
Getting no response from the Mayor, the reporter decided to skip him because the Mayor had every right to do anything. When you live in a jungle, you have to be the ‘Lamb Delivery’ fox so that you don’t become the lamb itself. So, moving on, the reporter asked the same question to the CEO of the Asylum. He was not at all ugly; in fact he was strikingly handsome – more handsome than Romeo, but less than Othello. He was so proud of his achievement that he instantly grabbed the microphone from the reporter and started to say – “It’s great. Without this Asylum, many people including me would have been jobless. So it is reducing our unemployment problem. Besides, those mentally unstable brothers and sisters need treatment and we are providing them.”
The CFO was right beside him. She couldn’t help stating the fact that she herself organized the whole evaluation program. She made it clear to the reporter that this program eliminated all the rogue elements in our society. When someone refuses to play by the rules, this program changes the game according to his or her audacity. The Asylum authority is at first contacted by the local government. The Asylum then acquires the people who were disrupting normal world balance. Some call those people crazy but the channel didn’t want to show any offensive word, so the reporter didn’t mention that matter. Anyway, those people then go through a series of experiments – but nothing physical.
Hearing that, everyone in the media got curious to know the detrappeails of those experiments; so the CFO elaborated them. She was very humble & gentle in her behavior. She said that their main aim was to find whether a person was truly peaceful or did he or she just pretend? That’s why in the program, a person is sent to that violent world only if he or she kills someone. Finally if that person doesn’t kill anyone in any circumstances, he or she will be sent to the peaceful world.
The CEO then rose to the occasion and presented a list where there were details of all those 665 people who pretended to be peaceful but at some point during the program, they killed one or more people. One reporter from a private channel inquired about Prisoner No 234 & his crime.
The CFO then said – “He was an atheist. He used to say that he didn’t like theists to kill others because of difference in religion. So we locked him in a room, gave him food & everything. Do you want to know the full story?”
This was needless to ask. Everyone was very excited to know what exactly had happened! The CFO then described that whole procedure. An aged person first captured 234 & locked him in a room. There was a tape recorder in that room which couldn’t be turned off. The aged man had instructed 234 that his release info would be played in that recorder but it would be hidden among other played recordings. So 234 had to listen to that recorder 24×7. That aged man always used to come in front of a window & give 234 food & water.
After 32 days of constant hearing, he finally acted as instructed and that’s why he was released. The recording was – I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. Chest. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. Fork. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. I am an atheist. I won’t kill anyone. Stab.
Everyone was amazed to hear that wonderful piece of experiment. It was flawless. It shattered that prisoner’s hypocrisy and showed everyone his true color (By the way, this isn’t a racist comment. It’s just a figure of speech!) Then the CFO mentioned his favorite experiment. Prisoner No 665. She was indifferent to every experiment. She always used to say that she would never do anything wrong but the funny thing was that one day she killed 15 people. Actually, the Asylum authority showed 665 many many videos of child rape & murder. She was forced to see those videos for consecutive 72 hours. No sleep. No rest. After that the authority gave her those 15 people who were responsible for those rapes and murders. The people were chained and restrained. She then imagined herself as a vigilante and to give justice to those children, she killed those 15. It was neat and clean massacre. Smooth and shiny blood was all over their bodies and the prisoner was standing beside with a saw. She didn’t blink, her hands didn’t shake. She knew what she was doing and more importantly she enjoyed what she did.
After many chit chat between the media and the authority, finally it was time for the finale – the final evaluation of Prisoner No 666. The Mayor then broke his silence and a drinking glass in excitement and said – “They have applied everything on him but in vain. He is yet to kill anyone. So if he finally passes today, he will live among us like a normal citizen, otherwise the Asylum is the appropriate place for him.” When 666 finally arrived, everyone was shocked. He was just a kid – maybe 14 or 15. He had been going through the experiment for almost 500 days and still he didn’t kill anyone. That meant he wasn’t pretending like others. He truly did not prefer violence. Or did he?
The boy was very beautiful and handsome. His innocent eyes were like deep blue ocean. His lips were like the petals of a flower. Dazzling and gleaming. There was a different kind of charm in his face. It was dusty but it still had the perfect glow of an angel. He was chained but there was no sign of scars on his body. It was evident from his looks that he didn’t sleep in days. Still he managed his legs and was standing firmly. He looked at everyone & gave a cute sweet smile. When a crazy person smiles at you, you think he doesn’t know what he is doing. But actually, he smiles at you because he knows that you don’t know what you are doing. You think he is pretending to be someone else, but it’s actually you who is in an illusion because you are too scared to see the real reality. The boy gave that kind of smile. A smile of strength, a smile of forgiveness and a smile of peace.
The CFO then said to the boy – “If you want to leave the Asylum & its programs, you will have to kill the guard at the gate. Then you will be free and live among us like a violent normal person in a violent normal world. You don’t have any choices left. You can’t reason with the guard, you can’t bully him or you can’t negotiate with him. So take the knife and stab him in the belly to acquire the hidden key from there. By the way, he won’t leave until he dies because he himself planned this idea. Such a sacrificing soul! Anyway, do it. Kill a person and you will be free!” Then the CEO placed the knife in the boy’s hand and everyone was happy to see the boy finally becoming one of them. We say that change is inevitable but actually we don’t like changes. It hurts and moreover it scares us. We can’t cope with something new, something different. So when we bring that or them down to our standard, we feel safe and protected. The Neanderthal has always been afraid of the Homo sapiens. But in this case, the homo was being turned into a Neanderthal. (It wasn’t an Anti Homo-sexual comment!)
Sir Laden, all of a sudden, asked the field reporter to go near the boy because he wanted to ask the boy a question. The reporter went to the boy and put the microphone near his mouth. Sir Laden then asked the question via the reporter – “What are you feeling inside?” The boy heard the question. He at first looked at everyone present there; then his gaze fell upon the guard and finally looking happily at his knife he smiled and answered – “PEACE!”
The boy killed someone and finally got his much longed freedom. He was then officially one of the normal people in that normal world. And the Asylum? It is still standing tall like a proud monument of justice and equilibrium. Everything is unchanged there, including that guard.
So whom did the boy kill? Well, you know the answer!