BLINDFOLD…

I am very happy today; I talked to my favorite teacher Ram sir. I have not seen him since my 10th grade. Even today I talked to him through phone, he taught physics for me. He is my favourite not only for his teaching methods, also for his handsome looks. His looks are pretty different from other usual teachers in all the aspects. Every teacher came in faded full sleeves shirts, the colour of their shirts was in such a way that they themselves couldn’t recognise its actual colour, but he preferred casuals. Every teacher had thick moustache to terrorize the students, but he had trimmed mustache and always smiling. He did not demand respect but he earned it from us unlike others.

About his teaching method he taught me how to study and develop interest in studies, his method may be usual thing but most of us will not apply. He made us to visualise the concept of the subject. Suppose if he is teaching a generator class, he would bring the generator right in front of our eyes, not literally, but with his explanation, examples, and imagination, it will be like a 3d image in front of us .if we visualise or imagine a subject and record it in our mind, we will never forget . He made boring topics interesting, now it is him who inspired me to prefer medical course. It is the one course which we can study and visualise and practically see. We study and imagine things but when we see it, they may not be 100%true in all the subjects. But in medicine, we can see what we imagine while studying, he used to say this. It got anchored in my mind.

Now I am in second year MBBS, thanks to him. After a long time I am going to write my exam {as 2nd year is one and half years, and I have not written any exams since my first year exams}. I am really stressed to study as am studying after a long time, but after talking to him I felt relieved and confident. That’s why I am writing diary this early before sleeping. So that I can record my happy moments the very same instant of my life. Now I can continue studying.

8.00pm

12.04.14

 

My today’s plan is to study forensic science and the topic is forensic psychiatry. The important questions are delusion, hallucination, and illusion.

I got a phone call from my mama (uncle) who is usually a very strict towards me. I know why he is calling me, it must be to check whether I am studying or not. So I prepared myself to attend the call.

Me: hello

Mama: what doing da.?

Me: studying…. studying only mama.

Mama: always studying? Why don’t you relax yourself for sometime?

I was surprised on hearing this, as I have never heard things like this from him, and then I thought he might be checking.

Me: no mama it’s OK, exams are nearing, so I have to study.

Mama: hey, if you keep studying like this without any break you will not be able to remember all the topics. So take some rest.

Me: hmm, OK mama OK.

Mama: you do one thing; take my bike come to the Gandhi Park .

Me: Gandhi park ah?

Mama: yes da, the new park built near Thiruvanmiyur beach.

Me: OK mama, let me ask mom first.

Mama: hey, hey don’t ask her. she will not allow you for sure; you better jump out of the balcony .

Me: through balcony ah!

Mama: yes try to be a man. Come here we can have lots of fun .

He hung up. I can’t believe him, for the first time in my life he has spoken so nicely, OK let’s go. I successfully jumped out of the balcony and went near my mama’s bike. This is the bike I have been craving for long time. He never gives me the bike. Even if he gives the bike, he will be in the back seat controlling me. The Indian traffic rule books will never stand up to his rules.

Now I can’t stop imagining what all things I can do with the bike. I feel pity about Chennai roads.

On my way, I crossed a park. I have never seen this park earlier, to check the park I went near it. The park’s name was MSN Park and it had a subscription written as unlimited fun. I went near the entrance and I came to know that there was no entrance fees, why to wait, let me check it out.

At the entrance I smelled a strong sweet fragrance. Which I had never sensed. I got addicted to the smell, it made me immobile and a slave to its commands. Usually I get this type of addiction only to my mother’s chicken biriyani.

At the entrance they gave me a manual about the park and stamped me as MSN in my arm. They told that it will wear off in 3 to 4 hrs and gave me a tag which had unlimited fun written on it. I got irritated on seeing their logo unlimited fun everywhere as if they are giving too much hype,. If it had nothing inside I thought off hanging them.

I saw the manual for directions, but it was like a puzzle map and not able to solve the path. I got irritated so I dumped it in a trash. And blindly saw all around.

My eyes caught hold of a magic show. Deep inside me I always had interest in magic, oh god I must be lying. As a usual human being we all have the habit of finding mistakes in others. The same way in magic we will not appreciate the magician but we try to analyze his tricks and make others think that we are more intelligent than him. With same intention like many others I too went inside.

When I entered the show, I got confused whether it is a magic show or a meditation centre because, audience were sitting quiet and silent. I grabbed a seat and concentrated the show. After seeing the performance I came to know why they were sitting like this, his performance was horrible and it was like the instructions given by a yoga master; now hold your breath and relax.

I hardly concentrated for 10 minutes , without my control or may be due to my reflex I yawned ,thinking that I’m in my classroom.

Suddenly the magician noticed me yawning. He jumped out of the stage and came towards me. I got terrified. He came closer to me inch by inch and removed his face mask. His face was awful; from his face we could study all sorts of injuries (one topic in forensic medicine). Then he took a knife out of his pocket and started bruising himself. I got petrified, pushed him to the ground. All of a sudden everyone’s attention turned towards me. I rushed out of the show without looking back.

Outside the magic show everything was normal. And none of the audience ran out along with me. Then I thought to myself that whole audience and the magician must be of the same  team and that’s why no one reacted to the situation, like this I had to console myself. Even though my heart rate did not decrease.

I saw a restaurant next to the magic show. I thought of drinking something hot, which could calm me.

The restaurant was very crowded and I got a place at a corner, near the parcel counter. Seeing the crowd and their nervousness I thought all are directly from the magic show like me. The restaurant and magic show people might have some tie up or contract.

All the waiters were busy, there was no one to attend me. The parcel counter was next to my table.

The person in the counter screamed his order in an unusual manner. More unusual things happened to me. On hearing his voice I was able to feel the taste of the food he ordered.

I have studied that on hearing and the smell of food could cause secretion of saliva unconsciously but here I felt the taste which was quite abnormal, I got panicked. Suddenly everyone around me started staring at me. I thought to myself something more weird is going around me. So I sprinted out of the restaurant.

I wanted to exit the park, but I did not have the manual, I became restless. My adrenaline did not calm down. I ran here and there, thinking that I might find the exit.

I was not able to run, my chest started compressing. I badly wanted to sit. I saw one vacant chair and I sat on it which had cushion. After sitting only I came to know that it was a body massage chair. Whatever it may be unless they ask money, I thought to sit. I perceived  bugs bite. I checked it out but I found nothing. After few seconds I could sense snake crawling on my back. I checked again, but nothing was seen. Suddenly one with ID card noticed me. He was very short and he might be the in-charge. So I slowly escaped.

I got a call from my mama.

Mama: hey where are you, I have been waiting for you  here.

Me: yes mama, I am on the way.

Mama: how long will it take?

Me: ten minutes I will be there mama, is anybody there with you.

Mama: I am with my friends da, come fast.

Me: OK.

I was on Bluetooth so I didn’t end the call. He also forgot to press the end button; actually I didn’t notice at first, I heard a loud noise from the phone. There was an uproar. I heard my mama’s friend’s voice. It was a total mess. From their voices I suspected that some accident has happened there. But I did not hear my mamas voice, I became frightened. I was not oriented for few minutes and totally confused with tears. I did not cut the phone. I know mama’s friend will bring the ambulance and inform my mother; I wanted to know his status, and reach him as early as possible. At the center of the park I was searching for my exit but I was not able to find. As if like a trap, I am standing amidst of it.

I enquired all around, no one considered me.

I saw the short man who noticed me in that chair. Luckily he responded to me. I enquired for the exit. He is the security guard in this park. He was polite and he showed me the exit door.

On my way to exit. I noticed many dwarf as security guard. It made a little suspicion.

All this time I am hearing the happenings, through my Bluetooth. I heard voices of my mama too, crying in agony. I rushed to the exit door. I opened and entered into it.  It was a room with red color paint, it had no windows or any other door and covered completely by walls in all direction, again trapped and when I turn back and thought of going back, the door through which I entered also vanished .

Once again trapped in a room with no doors or windows, surrounded on all sides by walls. I was constantly hearing my mama’s grief, but couldn’t do anything. And trapped in a room with no exit……..

Bang……………… bang…………………..

Now back to the studies

Hallucination- it is defined as the disturbance of perception of false sensory perception without any real external stimulus

It is classified as auditory, visual, olfactory, gustatory, tactile, And Lilliputian.

Now in this above mentioned EXAMPLE

Auditory-all the phone calls of my mama.

Visual- the whole park from magic show till the last room.

Olfactory- the fragrance at the entrance.

Gustatory- the incident in the restaurant.

Tactile- body massage chair. It is called fornication feeling of insects crawling over the body

Lilliputian- security guards.

 

Now I will not forget the hallucination. However I will write some points about it, Keeping this example in my mind.

Readers are u ready shall we go to the next question delusion…

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