Home › Forums › Short Stories › Review of Short Story "The Nightmare"
- This topic has 0 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 6 years, 9 months ago by YourStoryClub.
-
AuthorPosts
-
March 30, 2013 at 11:52 pm #39036YourStoryClubKeymaster
Short Story: “The Nightmare” by KANIKA MISHRA
Dear Writer, Thank you for choosing us to publish your story and asking us for the review. Please find below our review based on five key elements of short stories:
Character: Having limited characters is true essence of short story, and beautifully done in this short story. Boy in coma, the narrator, is only main character. There is nothing much left to characterise a bed ridden half-dead character; nonetheless feelings of him are brought out exceptionally well by choosing him as narrator. Very well done!
Setting: Although the time frame is bit long – one year – for a short story, setting chosen is tiny room of the hospital that remains same throughout one year. Setting, though required to be, cannot be very vividly portrayed when the narrator is in coma. Nonetheless the setting is not felt any inferior. To whatever extent theme allowed, setting is done aptly. For example:
“Suddenly there’s a flurry all around. My head is being lifted, but strangely, I never lifted it up myself. It’s as if the bed is bending under me, the top half floating in mid-air. I see faces coming towards me.”
If this story is to be rewritten, you may think over again how to draw even more detailed setting.
Plot: Story is gripping starting from first line to last. First paragraph provides needed curiosity and creates question in mind of reader. As mentioned earlier, appropriate selection of narrator makes the plot even more interesting. Who else can explain feeling of a coma boy other than himself? Happenings in the story are fast. Little slower progression would have made the plot even more engrossing. For example detail dialogues between father and mother, unidirectional dialogues from mother etc.
Conflict: This short story uses conflict precisely for the theme. On one hand it shows feelings and existence of coma boy. On other hand it shows helplessness and practical constraints of parents especially mother. Conflict resolution is also interesting, and carefully avoided to become cliché. Nonetheless adding to hope of awaiting mother by giving a vital signal that only she perceives would have heightened the climax.
Theme: Theme is backbone of a short story. All other elements, as they do in this story, must support and be tightly coupled with the theme. Nicely done!
Having said the above, we strongly believe that story is an art and every art is invaluable – there is nothing good or bad as art is beyond boundaries of these adjectives. Therefore the creator is the best person to decide whether the creation meets her expectation. We like your story in total and our comments are just objective comparison with the patterns we observed in most liked short stories.
We also recommend you to read 10 Tips for short story writing by our Chief Editor.
-
AuthorPosts
- The forum ‘Short Stories’ is closed to new topics and replies.