My Love and My Life!!!

I am Shyam live in a urban city of India, where I had completed my studies and it was fun all the time to go to school and college. Where I met so many new friends and I am bit introvert person do not like to keep many friends with me. I choose them who can be comfortable with me otherwise with whom I will be at ease, very finely get connected without any strings attached.

I met one of the beautiful lady when I was only 23 years old online. I just came out of my college and wanted to see the web world which was very new to me. I enjoyed seeing so many things learning all which I only read during my study times. I was always online sitting in one of café the owner of that Café Raj Mohan, very generous person who would always keep my PC ready not give to anyone and I was not having anything such this thing in my home.

My father whom I call Baba and my Mother I called always with more love as Maa. I could see the sparkle in her eyes whenever I called Maa. She will smile and say,”Yes Shyam beta”!

I could ask her anything in the world she would give to me without asking why I need those things, may it be going to a movie with my friends or going out having Chat Masala items near by Beach shore.

I became teenager and I really liked one girl who was with me in my college and I loved her very much as no one could have loved anyone. But the time had other ways she got married to some one and I lived with her thoughts and mailing her now and then asking about her life and her work.

She was very busy in her life she hardly replied or returned my calls often as she did when she was not married. I left her thinking she need space in her life to move ahead and I was constantly online doing nothing just chilling playing games and chit chatting with every strangers.

One day I like this beautiful lady id very much and I started the talk, “hi, Can I be your friend?”

This beautiful lady that’s what I thought and kept her name as this only, she said’ “hello, I do not talk to strangers and you are very young man try to be friend with your own age group” and she left the chat line.

I saw her profile which did not mentioned much just that she was from other part of India, and she is married with kids and she has many friends of her age.

I kept her id as my friend added her as special one. I never got any offline message from her or any mails from her. I was constantly asking her how she was? What was going in her life? Mostly she avoided replying anything just simple hello and hi, and bye. She said don’t want to talk to me anything more as I told her my age she was quiet apprehensive about it.

Once out of curiosity I left offline my home number and messaged if you wish call me. I kept on waiting for days and weeks went by I never got a call from my beautiful lady.

One night my Didi said you got a call from someone who did not left name but gave the number to be called. I knew in my heart it was my beautiful lady who called me when I was not around home and busy with my other friends online chit chatting with them. I was like, hell man why I was not at home when she called me I could have heard her voice or asked her name.

Anyways I dialed that number with happy mood and my luck she only picked the call and said, Hello, Karika who is this?”

My heart skipped a beat thinking what to talk to her, I told her, ‘Shayam here who met you online and I am returning your call’.

Karika said, ”I am really busy now with my family having dinner, can you call me later some other time”.

I said, “ sure and kept the phone”. In those days mobile was not everyman reach. I thought may be one day she will again call me but she never called nor came online to chat with me.

I wanted to ask her what her name meant was it real one or for my sake she said this. So many thought’s kept on coming to my mind. i know my questions answer are with her only and I kept on going daily to online waiting hours and hours for her. As I did not knew her email id that is why I did not mailed her.

During this time I met so many people online and chatted for hours together I was so much crazy for this as I wanted to avoid getting connected to my friends face to face. I lost my mother one year back and I was deeply shattered by this and never wanted to do anything just spend all money which was saved by her on going to online playing games and talking to strangers. I was in thought that this will ease my pain for some hours.Days went by weeks gone month after month years passed by I never saw my beautiful lady, KARIKA online.

I thought may be she was not interested to be online or had many other things which kept her preoccupied in her life. She would have not thought of me as to how much I wanted to talk to her if not in person at least online.

Two years passed by I was 25 years old and was doing my family business by this time my life was moving smoothly and the pang of loosing Maa was there and which never went away from my heart. My baba left us when I was very young and never came back, I looked for him everywhere searched all the places, called many relative’s and they would say they never saw him.

Now I know I have to earn money and live my Life which was in bad shape even though I wanted to study further and make myself as a Criminal Lawyer, but situation demanded I should take care of my family Business which was built by my parents who put all their life to make it success, I could not go it waste. My life was now going to shop and doing my business and keep my family name high and earn the money which I blew it in my distress mood.

My didi who moved with her family to Pune, where I live so that she can keep an eye on me and look after me. She was left as my family no one else even though Baba was somewhere I really did not knew where he was. My search for him was always going on. Didi and her daughters who were very small got admitted to near by English Medium School so that they can have better education and environment to finish their schooling.

My didi’s husband whom I call Jijaji joined with me in the family business and I also felt someone with his knowledge will boost my business. But things do not go as you plan or want to be! He took over the business and started having his own ways to treat customer and maintain his own self. Jijaji thought, Shyam is at young age and do not know the various strategy of business. He did not knew me well as I was always with my Maa seeing how she looked the business and home so well when I was small kid and she kept good equation with family and business.

Now, when I sit back and think what a marvelous business women she was. She was very much traditional lady who had her own ways of taking care of her life.

I got a chance one day to sit on my regular café Mr.Raj Mohan, when I logged in I saw my beautiful lady KARIKA, online my heart beat went so fast I could not even think straight and I opened the chat box and said, Hi, Remember me Shyam, business man from Pune”!

After few second screen on my PC blinked, “ No, I do not remember You, sorry”.

I told, its fine I will introduce myself again I am Shyam, from Pune whom you met online few years back gave her the details of her city from where she was talking with me online and even called on phone and I returned the call and in turn you said that you are with family and busy will talk to me later”. Can you please tell me the meaning of your name KARIKA.

Karika then said, Yes I remember now. How are you? Hope everyone in the family are good? I even know you are very younger to me with a smiley face she send me the message. She said her name meaning was – Mix form of Krishna and Radha; Verse; Reborn-

At that time I was like yes, she is mine and she is reborn for me ahead of my age or I am late in came to meet her now. I was the most happiest many on that day, thinking now I will make her my friend may what come. I will be patient ly handle her and not impose myself on her and try to make a small approach once again. As I believe nothing happens without a reason.

I could not see her online there must be some reason and I truly believe if you LOVE someone so deeply if they are yours will come back to you. I was on top of the world but kept my feelings to my self as of now. I did not wanted her to get annoyed and stop chatting with me online. I said, to her its ok whenever you get time mail me gave her mine and asked for her she said will give some other time. I know she did not wanted to give to me .

I said bye to her and logged off.

I was whole night thinking about what should I write to her about Baba left the house or Maa who was no more. Then I thought no its not correct to start a communication with such a note.

I mailed her some nice poems and beautiful flower pictures, and mentioned her my business details and I even gave her my mobile number by this time I had one.

As usual I waited for her call but again few days went I got mail reply where in she mentioned about her self and what she is doing, who are all in her family. She has two kids who are going to college and she is a working women and moved to some other city which was again far from my home.

I was bit encouraged by her mail and started mailing her often and leaving offline messages as I know if not replying to my mail she will be reading the messages which I sent her.

She did reply one or two mails of mine mostly she sent beautiful cards with very nice quotes. I liked it and said so in the mails.

One day all of sudden I got call from unknown number and I picked and said, Hello, Shyam here. May I know who is this calling me?

I heard a lady voice very sweet, Hello, this is KARIKA, hope you remember me? You gave you mobile number to me? Is it fine to talk to you now?

I was not able to believe that she called me, Oh my GOD!!!

I cleared my throat and said, yes I do. So how’s everyone in the family and how are you? I did not wanted to ask something stupid and make her end the call.

She said, “I am fine”. Thank you, I wanted to check if it is real you or someone else posing as now a days strange things I get online and people are mostly fake one’s.

I laughed and said, “Its ok” I know how it is now a days world became. I am the same Shyam whom you spoke online and left some years and again you came online.

I could hear her controlling the smile, and she said, yeah I know. I mailed you my contact number now you can keep in touch with me whenever you have time.

It was ooo lala moment for me. I said, sure sure I will make a note of it and keep it safe. She kept the call and I went to the café as soon as I could Mr.Raj Mohan was bit surprised asked, what is the matter at this hour of evening time, you came to check mails and chit chat. I said no something important came up. I will go in few minutes as I could see the PC which I use was busy some girl was there chit chatting I was like why this girl is taking so long why cant she leave it now and go. My mind was impatient to see the mail asap.

I waited for 5 minutes those were like never ending time of my LIFE.
At last that girl left the place and I logged in and checked my mail there it was her number and small mail telling me when is the best time I can call her. I smiled and said to myself now I can be in touch with her whenever I want and I knew she will not mind me calling now. So pretty soon I said thank you mail to her and logged off and came out of café.

I saved her number and called her, the ring kept on going same moment my heart was beating so fast I thought I was like small child who got his favorite Toy. She did not picked the call. I thought may be she is busy in something important I will call her again in few seconds, I dialed her number again and the sweet voice came to my ears, Hello Karika here. How are you doing? I just few minutes back spoke to you and now call from you. Surprise I am so you are also checking if I am real one or FAKE?

I said, aloud NO NO. its not like that I just saved your number and wanted you to save it in you mobile.

She said yeah, yeah I know, said bye as she has to leave the office and go home.

In my heart all the songs were playing and I was like on the cloud 9 humming the songs which was playing on radio.
I said thank to my god and told myself now I am sure she will keep this relation going on for years to come. I was dead sure of my feeling towards her, I started loving her the moment I met her long long back when I was 23 years online. Time and destiny has its own ways of giving you space and surprises.

I was seeing KARIKA becoming more open to me and discussed her family matters, like kids going college and her job how it was. I also started sharing slowly my business details and about DIDI, JIJAJI and kids.

In my heart I started living a life with her even though she was married and she had a family, for me she was something whom I did never took out from my mind and heart. I believed she was ahead of times of mine but a TRUE LOVE. One day she will also know my feelings for her I pray this to god daily and wish she understands me this is not something which came as infatuation, or time pass.

I know I have to be more patient in dealing this with her, she has her traditional way upbringing and she is not like people who can have fun for the sake of some moments. I could gauge it from the beginning as I had been chatting with many people online and know how they are one day they will be very cool next days they will be more engrossed in someone else.

I had been calling her whenever she could talk to me if she said no, she cant I kept the phone. I waited for her to call me or sms me. I could feel she was also thinking to be bit more free to talk to me as her problems with her married life and told me that she is going thorough hell and many times she wanted to end her life.

I kept on saying, no that’s not what one should do but have to maintain a calm and get a proper solution in their problems.

I wanted to meet her in person and wanted to know her more but she kept on saying No to me whenever I raised this topic. Now we have been talking for more than 3 months on phone, chat online and mail each other.

I was having my other friends also with me interacting with them know about their where about as I was finding a way to search my Baba. Now it has been more than 9 years he left the house. I was watching on Television a programme in which they were saying some place is there near to KARIKA city. A temple where they tell about a lost people with some ways. I asked her if she can go and find about my Baba, and she said may be one day when she has leave from her office.

I even told her about Maa as when she died and how she died. Karika said she is very sad to know about this.
She never mentioned anything more about her problems which she was facing in her life but only she is finding a solution to this. By this time I had said many times on phone before cutting the call to her, I love you.

She will not reply to me only said bye.

One day KARIKA called me and said she went and find out about my Baba who is alive and living in some place and he will be back one day. I was happy to know that she remembered this and found out. I was more confident that she will be more close to me. Our mind thinks a like and many occasion it is proved to me. She understand me better than anyone else. I started sharing my financial conditions and she was listening to me always.

One day I said to her, “give me your office address.” I want to meet you. She said no ways, I am not meeting you anytime.

I said,”what is wrong in meeting me?” Are you afriad of me or what it is?

She said, “I am not afraid of you or anyone”? I don’t want to meet you that’s all.

I was determined to make her understand this simple thing meeting someone will not be any danger and now she knows me well and more than anyone else.

She then agreed to meet me. I arranged a ticket to go and meet her I wanted her to be off from her work and totally free. She said, “Saturday, she has half day work place I can meet her”.

I said, “well I will call you once I reach your city”.

I checked and checked again my dress which color would she like and what she will be like in person. All these thoughts came to my mind.

Time came when I was standing near her office and gave a call to her. She did took sometime to pick the call and said,” Hello Shyam, I am coming down in few minutes. There is small table down the office you can relax.”

I said, “sure I will be waiting for you”. My heart was beating so fast I could not control it I never knew how she will look today and what she will be wearing? What she will say to me or what I will say to her?

Suddenly I saw a lady in Blue Saree, there she was coming down the stairs, bag in her hand, smile in her face and very beautifully more than my imagination. She was really much more of my age but Love does not see the age or color or any other limitations. It sees only LOVE. I was seeing my TRUE LOVE coming towards me and I wanted to give her hug and kiss on her cheeks. But I knew, “She wont like it”.

I waived a hand towards her so that she can see me and dialed her number so that she knows it s me.

She took the phone from her handbag and was making faces thinking who would have called her at this time. When she saw my number, she looked towards me and said Hello, Shyam. So here you are face to face with me. Are you happy? With a cute smile.

I said, “yeah I am happy and seeing you face to face, after so many years of waiting”. I did not wanted my feelings to pop out of my faces so clear I turned around and saw her with big smile.

We both went near by restaurant to have some coffee and place to sit and talk. She said,” Near by shop is Coffee Day, can we go there”?

I said, “yes, looks better.”

As soon as I settled down in the Coffee Day, I gave her small card and flower and complimented that she was wearing my favorite color and in turn she said, thanks and even you are wearing my favorite color Shirt. We both split into laugh.

I really do not know how the time flew and we both talked so many things and shared many more things. Now, she said has problem with her marriage and she would like to go for divorce and said her family members are against it and they do not want their daughter to be taking this decision.

I asked her where is your home, can I come there?

She said, ”NO” with a hand gesture. I live alone with my daughter and I do not want any third person to see you coming as I want my family people not to think otherwise and near by people.

I said, ”its ok”.

I had chance to share many things which I never shared with anyone till date. She patiently listened and gave a head nod now and then. I was just seeing her inside beauty which was reflecting in her face and her mannerism. She was my luck and destiny. I know as one day she will say to me she also loves me as much as I do.

I even feared what if after meeting me face to face she will stop talking with me altogether. I was like hell and as expected she did not mailed me after she saw me nor she called me. Even she did not asked me if I reached back home to Pune.

I said oh, so now she don’t want to even call me or message me anymore. She is not bothered about me after seeing me. All thoughts were coming to my mind I did not understand as to why she is doing this to me. Why cant she call me or message me or even sms me. I was kept on looking at my mobile and I was now even scared to call her what if she says something which I will not take or will break my heart into pieces.

I waited for whole 3 days, then I sent her one small sms, Hello, How are you? Hope everything is fine with you? How’s your health?

I did not got a reply from her to my sms. I was going crazy and was cursing as to why I went to meet her face to face after seeing me only she is not interested to give me any reply.

On 4th day I got mail from her where in she said she is going to file divorce and I should go ahead with my life and look for some girl who is of my age and get married and settle in my life.

I was like, “here it goes” my fear came true she did not want me to be friendly with her.

I took courage and wrote back to her, “ Hello, I will get married when I meet some girl who is really interested in me and wants to spend her life with such a person who is very traditional in his thinking and who can understand me like you do”.

I know for sure she will stop her communication with me after reading this. I got busy in my business and one day she called me and said, she went to court proceeding’s even though everyone even her kids did not want her to go ahead with this. Thinking that she has someone in her life that is why she is leaving and going away. She tried to explain to them but they did not wanted to understand her. Specially her son, who was not agreeing that she goes at this age and for whom.

She really was crying very badly and kept on saying she do not have anyone who can understand her how she will do this.

I said, “Please keep calm and do not cry”.

I was on the call for whole night with her making her think how to tell to her daughter atleast she will understand her, who has seen what all she went through in this marriage. She said I do not want to talk to you any more you keep away from me and I do not want any of my family people thinking I have you as support mentally or physically in any means.

I said, “Fine” I will not call you till you are done with this.

I knew it now she needs this comfort from me and I will never leave her side at any point of time this was my stand in life. I wanted her to understand this and feel it from her heart not by my saying, “What she means to me”.

I did called her early morning and asked, ”How are you?” Is everything ok?”

She did not replied anything and just said ,”I am handling it” Just give me some time to deal with it.

I said to her, “once you reach office, sms me so that I will be able to concentrate on my business.” Okie?

She said, ”yeah” and kept the call.

I got her sms after 45 minutes that she reached office. I was thinking she really needs me mentally more than anyone of her family or anyone. I will be with her at all the time. I called her during lunch time and asked did she had food? She said No, will have once I am feeling better.
I said oaky and kept the phone. I called her about evening hours I knew when she leaves the office so that she can talk to me peacefully, she said she is going home another 45 minutes time. I calculated the time and was looking at watch now and then I knew those 45 minutes were like snail like moving.

I called giving more time so that she can settle down in the home and she can be better felt. I asked, “So what is the matter?” she did not expected me asking such question.

She said, “even though you know everything asking me “ what a person you are” go and have your LIFE leave me alone”.

I could not tell her she was my LIFE now. I said, ”I love you” and kept the phone.

Next few days were like this only, she was off mood did not mailed nor messaged me I kept on mailing her every few hours. I knew she was reading my mails and was not able to take me as one of her close person.

Suddenly, one day I got call from KARIKA, she was telling me how the court has given her next date for the final call and her daughter was with her and she sounded so happy and was thanking me for being there for her when she did not had anyone. All these years took almost 4 years of my calmness and patiently waiting. By end of the call she said, “I Love you”.

I was so happy I said what did you said just now say again, say again, she kept on saying “I Love You”

Today, she is my soul and I live for her and she lives only for me. Even though her family people does not know about our relationship only her daughter knows but she does not want to believe that her mother can fall in love with much young age man. She thinks I am behind her for something physically but she does not understand LOVE does not look at age or need anything in return only wants to GIVE.

One day, me and Karika feels she will understand this relation and accept me as her mother’s most precious person who made her stand when no one was with her.

My sincere prayers to god that she gets better life and reach the heights of success and leads peaceful life. May all her wishes come true.

I know I cant call her my daughter or Karika as my wife socially but deep in my heart she is MINE I AM HERS. No one can break this TRUE LOVE only DEATH can DO.

__END__

30th December,2013.
Kalyani