Second Best

Sarah was having a bad day.

It had begun when, after much contemplation, she decided to pay a non-official visit to a good friend. She had called ahead and when she entered the doctor’s cabin, her friend’s right hand had flown to his temple in a gesture of surprise, making Sarah laugh. Yes, she was pregnant again, Sarah nodded sitting, and yes, it had been a surprise. After small-talk about the latest antics of their colleagues in the medical community, Sarah had come to the point, her reason for the visit.

Her friend had paused before answering. His specialty was radiology and in front of him was the latest ultra-sonagraphy device currently available, He was also one of the best in his field. He had known when Sarah entered why she had come, and they both knew that disclosing the gender of the foetus was against the law. He also knew that he would not be able to refuse her request. Their friendship went way back. He wasn’t going to ask why she wanted to know; in all genuineness he really didn’t wish to know.

He patted the bed behind the privacy curtain. “Nothing on paper.”

She nodded, rising. “Just point out the features. I’ll join the dots myself…”

###

That evening, Sarah waited until her husband had sat down with a drink before springing the news.

Derek was a banker, and his branch was located right across the city from their apartment. Sarah had given up her profession as a doctor years ago to look after their family.

She watched him lower his glass. “I went to see a colleague this afternoon, for an ultrasound.” She touched her abdomen. Her voice was low. “It’s a girl, Derek.”

She saw his eyes close, furrows rippling his forehead. His hands went up to cover his face.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone.” She blurted out. “I could see he didn’t approve, but I just had to know! I know how much you want a son…” Her voice faltered. “I’m so sorry.”

Derek was shaking his head. “You can’t have this baby, Sarah.”

Her eyes suddenly went wide.

“We already have two daughters.” said Derek, his tone rigid. “You know that we only decided to go ahead in the hopes that this one would be a boy.” He nodded. “We can terminate this pregnancy, it’s not too late.”

“I can’t believe-” Her voice broke. Tears ran down her cheeks. “You’re talking about our
daughter, Derek, our own flesh-and-blood!”

“Think about it, Sarah!” said Derek forcefully. “If you have this baby, we’re stuck with three daughters, and that will be it. You can forget about ever having a son.” He stared at her hard. “Is that what you want? This pregnancy was supposed to gift us a son not another bloody daughter!”

She was stunned. “Listen to yourself! What kind of man speaks in such a manner about his own children? Are your daughters suddenly not worthy of you, Derek?” She wiped her cheeks. “I will not end this pregnancy, Derek. I’m keeping this baby.”

His fists clenched and then loosened. Without looking in her direction, he went to the door, slipped on some footwear and left the house.

###

A son would have been his saving grace. But the prospect of another daughter… Derek shook his head angrily as he drove through the traffic. Sarah was so stubborn! He didn’t understand why she wouldn’t face facts. It was just not practical: three girls, as opposed to a son and two daughters. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, damn it! He longed for a son, and if Sarah had this baby, he knew he would never have one…

But who could he meet that might be able to persuade Sarah? The only person he could think of was the last person he wanted to see: Sarah’s obstetrician. Derek knew that he would have meet her; it was the only way out of this situation.

###

Derek knocked on the door of the obstetrician’s cabin. He had waited until all the patients had gone. He saw Dr. Kunda look up, giving him a smile of recognition. She was young, perhaps early forties. Hair still jet-black, wearing a sari, plumpish though not stout. She seemed surprised, probably because he was alone, but when he sat and explained, he saw the surprise dissolve.

“I have two daughters. I love them both very much. But deep down inside, we’ve always longed for a son. So we agreed that we would try again; a son would be all our dreams come true. A son and two daughters – it would be the perfect, complete family.” He wet his lips. “When my wife told me the results of the scan, I felt suddenly so empty, like the world had stopped. It was supposed to be a boy! We already have two girls.” His shoulders slumped. “I told Sarah she had to end the pregnancy. We could try again, I told her. Try for the boy we both wanted.”

“What did Sarah say?” asked the doctor softly.

“She refused. I couldn’t accept that; I walked out of the house.” He shrugged helplessly. “Now I feel lost, so disheartened. All my hopes were riding on this pregnancy. I feel somehow… betrayed.”

Behind him, the air-conditioner clicked and continued to hum.

The doctor let out a small sigh. “You’ve come to me to enlist my support. But Derek, that isn’t my role here, not in this situation. I cannot go to Sarah and convince her to do something that is clearly against her wishes. But perhaps…” She glanced at her watch, then picked up the receiver of her landline. She spoke quietly into it at some length.

She rose swiftly. “Come with me.”

She took him to a door marked Ultrasound Room, tapped and entered. A pregnant woman was lying on the examination table, clad in a hospital smock. Next to her was the technician, sitting at the console of the machine. Both looked up at Dr. Kunda and Derek as they entered.

Dr. Kunda went to the patient. “Shilpa, this is the gentleman I mentioned over the phone.”

The woman’s eyes looked him over and Derek felt his face flush deeply with the sting of shame as he realized what the doctor must have told her about him. But there was no expression on her face, nothing to show that she was in any way judging him. Instead, she turned to Dr. Kunda and nodded. “Go ahead, Doctor.”

The doctor brought a mobile screen to shield Shilpa’s abdomen from view, then gestured Derek to approach the monitor. Over the technician’s shoulder, Derek watched the white radiance on the monitor.

“This is Shilpa’s first pregnancy.” Kunda said, as she inched the probe forward. “Do you see that small sac that’s pulsing on the screen.” Derek nodded. “Any guesses?”

“It’s the heart.” said Derek slowly, his eyes riveted to the beating organ.

“Beating strongly, just like yours and mine. And Shilpa has waited 7 long years for this baby. She will fight to keep this pregnancy going.” They stared at the monitor, a doctor, a father, and a proud mother-to-be. “There’s something inside your wife, something living, something that’s growing as we speak. Something you helped create. A part of you. You played God when you and your wife decided to go ahead and have another child. So much went into creating this miracle: nights of discussion, labour, love. You have both given of each other and in return been given, the gift of life. And believe me, sir, there is no gift more beautiful than that.” She turned round to face him. “You need to open your eyes. You need to see your daughters as assets. There are no limits for women these days. The frontiers are endless; women today are achieving far more than they did in past years. How many women work at your bank, sir? How many of your top clients are women?” She looked back at the heart, throbbing powerfully in ashen hues. “Life is far too glorious a gift to take away…”Ì

###

It was close on 9 o’clock when he returned home. He didn’t realise it until he unlocked the front door, and then it hit him like a physical blow: the living room was dark. “Sarah?”

He checked the whole house before he was able to accept the fact that he was alone. Sarah and taken both their daughters and left. A wave of grief washed over him.

Dear Lord, what have I done…

This woman, his wife of 9 years, he had treated her like an object, like an unfeeling, uncaring work of art on somebody’s shelf. In the wake of the despair that had filled him on Sarah’s revelation, he had neglected to examine her feelings. She too had a stake in the matter; she too had longed for a son. How had he become so callous, so inhuman…

Sarah’s words came back to him: What kind of man speaks in such a manner about his own children?

A tremor ran through him.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

He opened the door with quaking hand, and the man outside gazed at him with a look of deep sadness. It was Sarah’s father. “I was sitting in my car and saw you come in.” He brought his left arm forward. “I brought you some dinner.”

Eyes filling with tears, Derek stepped forward and caught hold of the old man tightly.

“Sarah came home about an hour ago. She was in tears, shaking all over. She wasn’t just distraught, she was scared. Your reaction was so strong, she said, you were so against her having the baby, she thought you were capable of drugging her and making her undergo an abortion.”

Poor Sarah, thought Derek, miserable. What had she done to deserve this? Was he capable of doing that? “I said some bad things to Sarah; I don’t blame her for running to you. I know she was as disappointed as I was but she just didn’t show it.” He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s such a blow. All your aspirations and dreams just evaporated like an explosion in two seconds. Something inside just lost control.”

“How do you feel about it now?” asked his father-in-law.

Derek turned the question on him. “How do you feel about yet another grand-daughter?
I mean – you have a daughter. You’ve never had a son.”

“True.” The old man laid a hand on his arm. “But I now have a fine son-in-aw…”

###

He phoned his mother later that night and broke the news to her.

“Phone Sarah!” she urged him at once. “She must be feeling so let-own, even rejected. You need to show her how much you care. Give her your support, when she needs it most.”

“But, Mum, how do you feel about a third grand-daughter?”

She sighed into the phone. “I envy Sarah. I had so much trouble raising you and your brother. I remember once, how I almost gave you away…”

###

When Sarah opened her eyes the next morning, she saw the bedroom door was opened. Someone was standing near the window, looking out.

The bed creaked as she sat up, making Derek turn.

There was a bouquet of wildly colourful blooms in his hand. “I was going to buy you a card, but I couldn’t find one that said I’m sorry, I’ve been an idiot, can you ever forgive me and I’ll love you forever.” He looked forlorn. “So I came instead.”

She got out of bed and rushed toward her husband, and when he hugged her, it was with tenderness, for the loving woman that was his wife and for the new life that grew inside her.

__END__