The Bitter Chocolate

Creative Writing Competition 2012 India
CODE	485
SETTING	Terrace OR Bedroom OR Living Hall
OBJECT	Chocolate
THEME	Remorse

The Hand-pump in the front-yard stopped pulling out water in the morning and the plumber, same guy who installed the pump a year back, was summoned. He showed up an hour ago with his team of workers and now everyone was busy with them in the porch.

At the time of installation the man had said-

‘Take my word; your brother worships the Lion-Goddess, this pump not going to run dry.’

Now mother was teasing him for that assurance of his and Rikku on a chair in the living room could make out there was much laughing and the man was unable to hide his embarrassment. It was clear in his voice and in his hesitant laugh.

And then Rikku got up and stepped out standing by the half open door. The man was in the middle of the porch and was talking directly to mother who stood next to the washbasin in the verandah. He was trying to explain what went wrong.

‘I’ve been in this for a long time and never came across a case like this.’

‘You were careless, what else?’ mother said playfully.

‘This may be due to the drop in water levels.’

On a lone chair out there Grandfather sat fanning himself with a small sized towel in his hands. To his right the workers squatting down had comical expressions. Due to their elbows on the knees their joined hands reached out to their chins and they looked like following the conversation with interest, time to time talking with each other in their native dialect and laughing afterwards probably relishing this rare opportunity of seeing their so called leader in such a situation.

‘All right, tell us what needs to be done next?’ mother asked him.

‘A lot can be done.’

‘Enjoy, brother is forgiven for his loose work.’ She addressed the workers this time and they laughed. She was aware it was not the man’s fault but that was how she liked handling it.

‘Please don’t say this sister; the problem can be fixed with ease.’

He started on the future course of action and it was just the cue Rikku was waiting for. He went in quietly, crossed the living room and the hallway and came into the Grandfather’s bedroom. To step out for a while was just a way to be sure about, to get the measure of the whole thing before he could do what he had in his mind.

He had no fidgetiness and impatience of an eleven year old but he was nervous for sure. He had felt his heartbeat increasing the moment this idea struck him and then going up all the time and just few seconds back mother’s taunts and jokes didn’t affect him at all although he pretended amusement whenever their eyes met.

Once inside, he reached out for the showcase that took up the middle of the wall to his right in order to look for his Grandfather’s wallet. He had often seen Papa, which is how he addressed his Grandfather, keep it there, in the bottom rack at the rightmost corner. He slid the glass pane and the screech made him fall back and then realizing the sound had no effect he resumed his search.

After struggling with a lot of other stuff at and around that place it was clear that the wallet was not present there. He moved to the other end, not finding it there as well he gave a general broad look at the whole thing by stepping back couple of steps but nothing seemed like a wallet. No, it’s not here, he said to himself. Maybe he has kept it somewhere else today.

He turned to the dressing table and pulled all the drawers out one by one, unbolted the door opening into a store room and checked under the grey plastic sheet covering the trunk in there, looked inside an attaché and a black leather bag but all in vain. It’s not possible, he thought. Papa is in an under shirt and pajamas. He can’t have his wallet out there with him. Let me still confirm. What a shame!

He rushed to the living room, went across the sofa, jumped over the bed to reach out for the end of the curtain over the window which overlooked the front-yard and the porch. Yes he was right. Papa was wearing what he thought he was wearing. He returned little irritated. A lot of sweat started appearing on his forehead and the part of the shirt around his armpits touched his skin wet and cool.

He used the curtain falling over the door to wipe the sweat and examined the room. For a brief moment the idea of abandoning it all crossed his mind. But it was just a thought! He went over to the bedside table over which was placed a cassette player and stack of devotional records. It was not a proper place to check but he did. Then he felt the clothes hanging from the line of hooks at the backside of the door without any success and eventually finding the wallet under the mattress on the bed he cursed himself for not searching there earlier. It had hardly been two minutes but he was bright enough for his age to undermine the value of time under such circumstances. He grabbed the wallet, placed the mattress back, arranged the bed-sheet as it was prior to being disturbed and locked himself inside the bathroom attached to his study room.

In there he went through the wallet. It was a vital thing to do before any money could be taken out. If there is not much cash it becomes a risk to sneak out anything. This way it is easier for the owner to sense an irregularity and raise a doubt but the other case often leaves him confused and there is a good chance of him overlooking the whole affair. He had learned this through his past experiences of stealing money from the homes of distant relatives. He had never been caught but at times there had been some scary, uncomfortable questions asked and those subtle, odd behavioural changes towards him. He didn’t care about those people so that hardly mattered but it was not the case this time around.

He took out a hundred rupee note from the wallet as the contents of the wallet favoured him and slipped it in the left pocket of the white knickers he was wearing. The wallet went to the pocket on the other thigh and he proceeded to wash his face before he could go and put the thing back in its supposed place.

Something is wrong, he guessed the moment he came out. Papa was in his bedroom and called mother couple of times. There was no response from her end and he called her again, this time louder. For few seconds it went still and silent. After that Rikku heard the living room door swing open, saw mother crossing the hallway and then asking Papa what had happened. He replied he can’t find his wallet. She didn’t seem to believe his reply and judging that Papa repeated himself. Rikku walked in and saw Papa standing by the bed holding up the mattress.

‘I kept it here and now I can’t find it.’ He repeated.

Mother was at the doorstep still looking at him blankly. He mowed couple of times moving his eyebrows which made all of them laugh. It was weird to start with.

‘Are you sure keeping it there?’

She asked and went in to search for herself. He said he is sure and passed on the end of the mattress to her and saw her searching. She went up on the bed and crawled to the other corners, Papa turned around and went over to the showcase and Rikku stood there in dreadful anxiety. Both the glass panes on the showcase lay slid away from their normal positions and he could see the disarray he had caused when he was at it earlier. After a light moment Papa had gone silent and searched carefully, his slight trembling hands shifting the stuff around, irrationally undoing the plastic covers and unzipping his shaving kit. He made a short noise after that indicating the wallet was not there. Mother raised her head and told him not to worry.

‘It won’t be anywhere but here.’ She assured him.

It has all gone wrong, Rikku thought. It was awfully foolish to wait so long in the bathroom. Now he needed to pretend again that he was all right and normal, that he had nothing to do with it and he was out of it, that he was worried for Papa and somewhat amused like mother was. But it was not easy. He felt himself over sweating and feared mother sensing something from his face. He avoided facing her as much as was possible and most importantly moved about in a way so the bulge that the wallet made on his knickers was kept out of sight.

By now Papa had moved inside the store room from the dressing table and when he emerged from there he looked agitated.

‘Not inside as well, don’t know what’s happening?’ he said with downcast eyes

‘Are you sure it’s here?’ mother asked.

‘How many times do I need to tell you?’ He went to the bed and pulled the mattress up all over again foolishly. ‘All my sins!’

‘Papaji try recalling calmly.’

‘I did that and I’m not wrong.’

‘Did you check in the lobby where you sit, on the bed?’

‘No, no I don’t keep it there. No!’ He said shaking his head. ‘This is where I keep it and where should I otherwise?’

‘Kikku, check in the drawers.’

‘No need, no need. I’ve searched there.’ Papa said turning to Kikku.

‘Let him see, does it harm?’ said mother clearly annoyed at Papa’s outburst. She herself walked up to the showcase and Papa didn’t stop her. He was busy taking the clothes off the hooks on the door, looking in the pockets and throwing them on the bed.

‘That’s what I do, I keep telling you not to come in here and if you do, not to touch my stuff.’

‘Nobody touches your stuff but you.’ Mother said.

‘You take this thing and put it there.’ He continued not listening to what mother had to say. ‘And if I ask you about it you answer you don’t know and now that my wallet and all the money and all the phone numbers and all the important notes and receipts are gone, now you should say something.’

‘Nothing is gone.’ She said frowning and staring at him over the table with the cassette player. ‘Where will it go unless you haven’t lost it somewhere else?’ she added.

‘It is not here. That is why I keep telling you…Now that money is gone, around fifteen hundred gone and I keep it there and I can’t find it. All my sins!’

The argument between the elders frightened Rikku even more and he was breathing heavy and close to tears. Constant shifting of his positions and the unusual manner in which he moved and searched made him believe he was sure to be caught and he assumed, for no good reason whatsoever, that after all this ends in a failure mother is going to question him and no one else. It was a terrible thought to consider and something had to be done.

He had shifted close to the door after Papa finished going through the clothes and when Papa rushed back inside the store room Rikku had found his chance. Mother was still inspecting the showcase and had her back to him. He took out the wallet, fixing his eyes on his mother, staying alert to her turning around, and placed it in the pocket of one of the shirts lying on the bed. He then went and stood near to mother and pretended to be confused. After few seconds he started back towards the clothes on the bed and made sure mother notice him searching the clothes.

‘Here it is.’ He exclaimed taking out the wallet.

‘There it is.’ Mother said, relieved and Papa came out.

‘Where was it?’

‘It was where you searched and didn’t find.’ She said.

‘I asked you to recall properly, then you couldn’t search properly. Over that shouting all the time announcing to the whole locality that you’ve misplaced your purse. How can one loose one’s wallet in his own bedroom? Now let me pay them. They have been waiting for quite a time.’

She stormed out of the bedroom. Rikku smiled at his Grandfather and then left the old man behind counting his money.

Rikku appeared out with a notebook in hand. Mother was settling some money with the plumber. ‘Where are you going?’ she asked as Rikku pushed open the main gate.

‘To Anand’s place, have to give him this notebook.’

And he ran straight to the nearest shop in the locality and produced his hundred rupee note and asked for chocolates. All that adventure for chocolates. He felt the shopkeeper looked on with suspicion and thus added-

‘A party at home. Lot of cousins around.’ It worked.

He reached home, notebook placed beneath the shirt and fastened to his belly with the elastic of his knickers  and found the workers gone.

‘Come down soon.’ Said mother from kitchen as she saw Rikku take the stairs to terrace. ‘That’s what you want, visiting your silly friend’s place and playing football on the terrace. Come down soon.’

It was windy up there. He settled on the shed that housed the water tank and unwrapped one of the chocolate bars. He had five of them and he never had so many at the same time and he was delighted. The bars due to lack of refrigeration were loose and soft and melted rapidly and filled his mouth full and sweet. He loved having chocolates like this. He loved them any way. He thought of the scare earlier with the wallet.

Looking back, he thought he could have done things differently to escape. It was a narrow escape and he felt a sense of pride to have averted the threat. He kept thinking on the same lines then about something else, next about kites and aero planes followed by a recent movie he had seen and its actors then back to the trouble downstairs and back to kites, all this while eating chocolates and letting the wind push his hair back. It was some treat!

He came down to a big glass of milk waiting for him. They had finished their evening tea and now mother was in the kitchen and Papa sat looking out of the window. After a moment she came out and asked Papa if he wanted more tea. He didn’t respond. She asked again and when Papa still didn’t answer she asked what is troubling him. He shook his head and grimaced.

‘No, it’s nothing. It’s just that I’m sorry for shouting at you earlier.’ She said nothing then, just stood rocking from one leg to the other the way she normally did. It was unusual for her to hear that.

‘You shouldn’t say this.’ She managed with a smile. ‘Now you want…’

‘It was no good. Something is wrong. I was sure to have kept my wallet there but that was not so.’ He talked in low, quivering tone and looked worried.

‘These things happen sometimes. Don’t pay any attention.’ She said.

‘I need to. I need to worry. Some problem with my mind, with my memory. Don’t you think so?  Old age catching on me, old age catching!’ He laughed a sad, nervous laugh with moist eyes. It was too unusual now for mother to say anything.

‘I shouted at both of you and I’m sorry. I get so anxious. It couldn’t have gone anywhere even if I had lost my mind. I am sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted. I just loose control you see and I don’t require any more tea.’ He got up and walked out. ‘I am going for a walk.’

Mother said a prayer and went back to rinse some utensils.

After placing the empty glass in the sink Rikku went to his study room and rolled on his cot to read a comics lying there page down. It was an interesting read but after a while he put it aside and thought about Papa’s words. For a moment he was not sure what he felt and he wanted to dismiss the thoughts but they kept coming back and they kept disturbing him.

The worst was the way Papa had laughed as if mocking himself. Rikku followed the rotating blades of the fan and visualized his grandfather on his solitary walk along the lanes lined with houses on both side and passing the temple with a chant on his lips. He visualized Papa thinking hard on what had transpired and dreading his condition and cursing himself. He saw Papa perched on a plinth near the milk dairy, perspiring and looking at people and the rice field with hollow, tense eyes.

Rikku turned to his left and covered his face with his curled up arms. The framed photograph of his first day to school, which hung in the living room, flashed across his mind. He, in school uniform, on his bicycle and smiling and Papa behind him holding his school bag and water bottle. It was a photograph of happier times but right now it made him miserable. That’s what he felt, miserable. He sensed a tightening of his chest and a lump in his throat which kept growing and when he could no longer calm it down he rushed inside the bathroom and wept.

__END__