HUES

“Another guest?” Mukta asked her mom in disgust.

“Yes honey, why do you look so worried?” Her mom frowned, knowing how much Mukta hated interacting with people.

Mukta, detested the whole idea of having visitors. They were given so much importance. She would have to vacate the room, her privacy would be hampered and unknown eyes would be contemplating her every move. It felt like being an outsider in your own home.

“It’s your cousin Tanya,” her mom said. “I am sure you wouldn’t mind having her around. She is a lovely girl and will be good company.”

Mukta’s mom tried to pep her up. Mukta, was an only child and she was born with bilateral clubfeet. Long painful procedures, surgeries, braces had made life painful for Mukta and her parents.

Mukta was embarrassed about her feet. She didn’t like wearing the special shoes she had to wear. She too wanted to wear beautiful pink bellies embellished with stones and high heels that made the others look so complete. The children teased her about her posture, her splints and later the supports she was fitted with.

“But why do we have to have anyone over?” Mukta asked. She thought of the trauma she would go through once again, of being pitied and asked how she recovered. The very thought made her relive her horrifying past.

“Oh come on Mukta, Tanya and you have been friends as kids and I’m sure you’d enjoy her company.” her mother said.

Mukta didn’t enjoy company; she was content with the little world she had created for herself. Her paintings, canvases, drawings scattered on the floor and paintbrushes dipped in colour. Droplets of paint and their fragrance enthralled Mukta. She used her paintings and the act of painting as a getaway from her world of fears and loneliness, hiding her weakness in her artwork.

Tanya arrived. Mukta assessed her new roommate. Her cousin had a long face, bronze hair and hazel eyes. Tanya’s sense of dress was a little too loud for Mukta. The red and yellow tight fitting top Tanya wore, hurt Mukta’s eyes and the blue skirt was too blue.

Tanya’s gleaming braces looked funny when she smiled but there was something pleasant about her face which arrested Mukta and appealed to her.

Tanya cracked jokes and everyone intently listened to her exciting experiences of trekking in Shimla.

“Why don’t you take your cousin out today Mukta? I am sure she could do with some sight seeing,” Mukta’s mom said, the next day after breakfast.

Seeing Mukta hesitate Tanya realized she was uncomfortable with the suggestion.

“Aunty, can we stick around at home? I would love to see Mukta’s artwork,” Tanya said.

Mukta eased up immediately. The idea of taking people out for sight seeing wasn’t a happy one. Tanya would surely ask questions about her past when they were alone and above all Mukta didn’t like the part where she had to play the guide. She preferred to listen.

“I am glad you covered for me,” she said, to Tanya later.

“You don’t like goin’ out?” Tanya asked, baffled.

“Nah! Not really, I like it indoors. I kinda feel comfortable in here,” Mukta said, surprising herself with how easily she had spoken about her weakness to Tanya.

The cousins spent the day together at home. Tanya saw Mukta’s paintings and was impressed. She admired Mukta’s canvasses and said, “You will grow up to be a great painter one day.”

“Thanks, that’s the best thing I have heard about my work till date,” Mukta’s eyes gleamed and her chest swelled with pride.

The sincerity with which Tanya voiced her appreciation moved Mukta, and her fondness for her cousin began to grow.

Tanya discovered a pattern in Mukta’s paintings. She always used the same shades of colour. They were mostly brown, olive green, grey, black and some shades of blue. The paintings were beautiful but none of them were vibrant. Each one was connected by the same monotonous hues. Tanya, didn’t see growth in them, they were very STILL and lacked the vigour, bounce and dynamism, which would infuse life into them.

Tanya saw Mukta’s temperament reflected in her work. Her guarded approach, less than candid nature, her fears, emptiness and isolation were all very visible in her art.

“Mukta needs to go out into the world,” Tanya told her aunt. “She needs to see the sun.”

“Why do you say that sweetheart?” Her aunt stopped chopping tomatoes and looked at Tanya.

“Haven’t you seen her paintings?” Tanya said. “They are so claustrophobic, she is a good painter but her work lacks life.” Tanya’s concern reached her aunt.

“I too worry about Mukta, but I don’t know what to do.” Mukta’s mom rubbed her forehead. “Her clubfeet have been rectified, the surgery marks are nearly gone, but the bitter mocking of the past still stings her.”

“She has closed herself indoors and that has affected her creativity,” Tanya said.

“Could you help her Tanya?” Her aunt asked.

“I shall try,” Tanya smiled and hugged her teary-eyed aunt before going off to find Mukta.

“You double faced bi*ch!” A loud wail reached Tanya’s ears. She turned around to see what the matter was.

“You…you…said that you liked my work and now you are back biting about it to my mom! How…how could you?” Mukta stammered in rage and clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms.

“Hey, I was just…” Tanya tried to explain but Mukta was pissed off.

“You’re filling up My mom, with My weaknesses? Go away. Go back where you came from,” Mukta stalked out in disgust and banged the door to her room and left Tanya and her mom in a hypnotic state.

“Mukta,” her mom said, knocking at the door.

Tanya stood paralysed, surrounded by a cloud of emotions and doubts; she was only trying to help. Her stomach clenched at the thought of hurting her cousin. Tears rolled down her hot cheeks and she decided to go back home.

Mukta’s mother knocked on Mukta’s door but she didn’t respond. She emerged only at dinnertime, her eyes red and sore. Tanya glanced at Mukta expectantly, hoping she could resolve everything but Mukta ignored her and headed straight for the table.

“I’m sorry Mukta, I’ve hurt you. I was only trying to help,” Tanya said. She pursed her lips to stop herself from breaking down.

“I don’t want help! That’s what I’ve got all my life and I’m sick of it.” Mukta’s icy words pierced Tanya like an arrow and tears gushed out of her eyes.

“I…I…am really sorry. You are a great painter and that’s what I believe,” Tanya paused. “I know I should’ve spoken to you and not to Aunty.” She hesitated, “I shall leave tomorrow.” Tanya tried to hug Mukta but Mukta remained cold towards her cousin.

Mukta’s mom didn’t let Tanya leave the next day. She tried to be the bandage between the two but Mukta was unwilling to relent.

Tanya’s last hope was an sms to Mukta, she typed, “U R special will always be, I’m sorry to have hurt U.” Tanya waited, but Mukta didn’t buzz back. She again typed, an emoticon of a smile, then after a few seconds a hug, but there was no response from Mukta.

Tanya now became sure that Mukta wanted to end their friendship. Her last message to Mukta was, “I’m leaving,” with an emotion of a breaking heart. But Mukta’s frigidness continued.

Tanya pushed her clothes into her bag; she was annoyed with herself and now even more with Mukta for not responding to her messages. Mukta was sitting in the balcony; Tanya marched towards her so that she could tell her face to face that she was never ever going to come back!

Before Tanya could spill out her frustration, Mukta smiled and said, “Please don’t go, I know I’ve been a spoil sport.”

Tanya stood, wondering whether to act pricey or just take a chill pill. Mukta’s soft subdued eyes mellowed Tanya down and she decided to dissolve the bitterness and crawl back into their friendship. Tanya held out her hand, and she felt rejuvenated after a long time, “Alright!” Tanya’s braces shone brightly as she broke into a king-size smile.

With Mukta’s consent Tanya meticulously planned their first outdoor trip to the fair; she didn’t want to mess it up again. They tried all the rides even those, which were meant for younger children. Mukta began to like Tanya’s ways and her daredevil nature of venturing into the unknown.

Together they watched movies, discovered new places in town and went for long, walks in which they explored fresh secret paths.

The concept of stepping out of her boundaries intrigued Mukta. Her life started to become flavourful. The tight-fitted, confined world of self-disgust, pity and insecurities was slowly overtaken with confidence, joy and self-assurance. She realized people didn’t stare at her, no one sympathized with her, she just moved around like a free bird.

She began to cherish Tanya’s friendship. They talked about boys, their fantasies and had endless discussions on their favourite movie stars. And then, all too soon, there were two days left for Tanya to go back home.

“I wanna thank you and apologise to you, Tanya.” Mukta said, her eyes filling up. “These last few days you’ve been the elder sister I’ve always longed for, please don’t go so soon,” Mukta’s voice cracked.

“I have to go, my holidays are getting over,” Tanya said, “but next summer I want you to come to Shimla,” Her eyes twinkled at the suggestion.

“That would be lovely,” Mukta squealed with delight.

Before she left, Tanya saw the change of hues in Mukta’s new paintings. This time there was a vibrant yellow, a red, an orange, indigoes, bringing in the spirit that was lacking to her canvas.

Tanya compared Mukta’s earlier paintings to the new ones. The older ones were usually stormy days, a child looking desolate, and a forlorn girl alone in the mountains. But now Mukta’s work didn’t have storms they were filled with sunshine, her figures smiled, and the flowers bloomed.

“I’m gonna steal one painting of yours when I leave,” Tanya teased.

“You don’t need to do that I’ve made one for you already,” Mukta smiled.

Tanya loved the painting, which Mukta made for her. It had two young girls holding hands and running towards the beach in a happy mood. It depicted their friendship, which had grown into a sister like relationship. It was one way for Mukta to apologise to Tanya.

The real hues which had entered Mukta’s life and had come to live with her for ever.

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